Feeling so low...

[HotPot]

Hello there,

I just wanted to share my feelings as I'm having a rough time at the moment and am hoping that you'll all know exactly where I'm coming from. Thanks in advance for reading.

I've been off meds for over a year and have really struggled with maintaining any self esteem or confidence. I took on a job that I'm massively out of my depth in, and feel like I stumble from one cock-up to the next there. I'm thinking about resigning because it's creating such a lot of stress and misery - my manager seems constantly displeased with my performance :weep:

I'm experiencing anxiety attacks several times a day - mainly at work in meetings - but also in my sleep, which wake me up with a feeling that I can't breathe.

I've currently got that familiar depression feeling that I want to climb into bed, pull the duvet over my head and block the world out forever.

Am going to see my GP to discuss going back on a treatment plan but feel so hopeless in the meantime. Can't stop thinking about what a useless idiot I am and it's making me feel worse and worse.

Thank you for listening.

[sial72]

First of all, you are not a useless idiot at all!! You are very articulate and sound lovely.
I am sorry that you are going through a rough patch. Have you ever read Claire Weekes' books? I would also recommend "tapping" for panic attacks, if you don't know how to do it look on Youtube " tapping for anxiety", it might seem a bit silly, but it is actually effective.
You CAN and WILL get better x

[HotPot]

Thanks so much for responding sial72, it really means a lot.

Am just looking at the Claire Weekes info online - fingers crossed its useful - thank you for the tip. I'm hoping a bit or rest and a quiet weekend will help ease the depression. I'll be sure to look up tapping, too. Thank you once again, it's good to know there are good people out there x

[sial72]

Not at all HotPot
I am sure that if you don't get too afraid by how you are feeling, your body and mind will heal. It's fear that prevents us from getting better. Shout if you need me ;-)
Take care x

[Oosh]

Don't beat yourself up about it. It's very difficult feeling like that. I think you are doing the right thing in going to see your doctor. If it's not working, change something. You don't have to struggle like that. I say take all the help on offer and try and steady things whilst staying in your job.
With help you can put yourself on a firmer footing and in a year will be glad you fought on and made it work.

I'd get him to check you out too. I think sometimes these things can be physiological. Tell him you think it's time you got a general check over to make sure everything's in order. Doctors like to do that occasionally.

Hang in there. You will come out of this. Happy times ahead.

[HotPot]

Thanks very much, both. I'm feeling incredibly low again today and putting off doing anything (except vegging in front of the telly!) I know I need to pull myself together, but can't seem to. Hoping it lifts soon, and that I can get some help from the GP.

Thanks again for listening x

[sial72]

It is precisely when you are feeling low when you should make an extra effort. If you do something, anything, it will help it to lift. Good luck with the GP. Take care and let us know how you're getting on xx

[HotPot]

Hi there, after a bit of a rocky start this morning and an anxiety attack this afternoon (in the cinema - I'd gone to try to take my mind off work worries), I'm feeling a bit better. Not looking forward to work tomorrow, of course, but at least I'm more rested today.

Thanks again to you guys for responding. It really did help when I was in a particularly dark hole to know that I wasn't alone in feeling the way I do.

[Autumn4]

Hi i downloaded a Claire Weekes audio book. I have found it really useful as she explains anxiety & low mood so well. She is a Dr & also talks about the fact that it is an illness & we can recover from it.I have the one titled Freedom from Nervous Suffering.Also when I am low & having anxiety I just want to hide away under the duvet or on sofa watching tv. When I force myself to see a friend or step outside it does break the spell if only for a short time. I know how hard it is to find the motivation but even just walking down the road & back for 5 mins is a good start. While walking notice as many things as you can around you - make a list in your head of as many things you can that you see or hear.This distraction helps to stop the negative thoughts that start the anxiety.

[sial72]

Hi Hotpot
Don't even think about tomorrow yet, think about it tomorrow :D...Hope you get a good nights rest xx

[georgeraj]

Hi Hotpot, I know how you feel, especially with the work meetings. I get anxious sometimes at work but I try to remind myself that if I was really that useless they wouldn't have employed me in the first place. Work really is just the tip of the iceberg for me. I get anxious and worried about pretty much everything, and I think there's a connection between anxiety and depression for me. It's like I use so much energy worrying that I end up exhausted and my brain has no energy left to be happy with. If that makes sense.

George

[HotPot]

Hello there, it's really given me a lift to see replies - thanks all. It helps so much to not feel alone. Work was pretty unpleasant today - worked 9am to 7.30pm with 15mins break so I was exhausted - doubly so for being pretty emotionally drained!

My manager has become very directive, and is sending me long To Do lists at the end of every day. I have responsibility for line managing one person and she's taken over that, too, and starting telling them what to do. I k ow it's my own fault for being so passive but I feel really demoralised by it. I realise I should say something but I feel physically sick at the thought as I find the boss quite intimidating.

I'm feeling a little less low than at the weekend, but would still cheerfully stay under the duvet forever 😊

george, I know exactly what you mean. The anxiety is so draining all you're left with is depression some days...

[Bee26]

Hey, new to this. I'm a student nurse and I'm feeling very low at the moment, I am just so lonely. I'm studying far from family and friends and I have just broken up with my partner of 2 years. I have no friends in this city and I just feel like, why am I working so hard when I have no one to celebrate it with. I don't have any hobbies, I would love to meet new people, but don't know where, and I'm just generally feeling pretty low in life.

Any thoughts would be awesome. B x