Scared

[Pet59]

I'm always lurking but haven't really posted a lot as I've been doing well. Until today. General background....husband was killed just over two years ago in road accident. Recently met someone else. Things going really well. Today, his best friend died. Heart attack. Now I'm so scared the same thing will happen to me, to him, to family. I'm so afraid. Feel ill, diahorrea, palpitations.

[Frankie123]

I think it is natural for you to feel how you do. You don't want to loose someone else close to you and when a relative or friends dies this is a natural reaction. I feel sure time will heal and in two or three months time you will feel back to normal and able to enjoy the relationship with your new partner.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Really sorry to hear about the traumatic experiences you have gone through, Pet59.

I think those thoughts would cross everybodies minds, it more whether we linger on them that is the issue and someone with an anxiety disorder, especialliy HA, is likely to do that.

A fresh pair of eyes can help with this. For instance, is your partner worried it will happen to him or is he going through life living it (greiving aside, of course)?

I think you should spin this the other way into a positive - make the time you have together as special as it can be and let it bring you even closer together!

[Pet59]

Thank you both for your replies. I didn't sleep at all last night. Every time I closed my eyes I imagined his friend and his girlf and how awful it is for her, knowing this through being in the same situation.

My partner is totally different and doesn't really appear to worry about anything. He is in good health but I am so scared of losing him after losing my husband aswell. I was married at 33, widowed at 34 and now at nearly 37 I am happy again, when I wasn't sure if I ever would be again.

My health anxiety has been really good the past few months but yesterday it just hit me again and I cried for hours. Worried. Scared. I didn't go to work today as I am just exhausted and my partner reckons it is the stress of yesterday.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm glad your partner has that attitude about it because he can help you through it, at the least by you seeing him being happy and not worrying about his health.

Perhaps it has just been a shock and revived some old painful memories?

Maybe if you try to concentrate on the good things together, this will pass?

You went through all that trauma at an age where you would never expect to lose a partner and yet here you are, happy again. That must have looked like an impossibilty back then. So, the same possibility applies to his GF too and maybe you being around as an example will give her some courage & hope.

Maybe if you talk it through with him, it will help you as its perhaps a bit of a mini grieving process that has been reawakened?