Supermarkets - How do I overcome this!

[wendy]

Hi All

Having a bad day but managed to assure myself it is anxiety and not go into the whole dying experience again!

Well was doing ok until my son let me know he'd lost his school jumper, which meant he either he freeze tomorrow or me Face asda to go to george or get the knitting needles out!

I drove there ok, got in the store picked up the jumper at top speed then got to the till with what felt like 100,000 people in front of me then the panic began, Why do que's do this and how to I get over it??? Im ok in the store but as soon as I have to que I do to pieces, am still shaking now and am trying my best not to give in to online shopping!

Wendy x

[honeybee3939]

Hi Wendy

I know exactly how you feel hun, i have been dealing with this for the last 6 months, and the only thing that i find that works for me is to face the fear.
I have spent years trying to overcome the fear of supermarkets and queues, and before xmas last year i went everyday until it just became second nature and the thoughts in my head of dread just disappeared. I actually managed to get a whole trolley full of things and pay for them, something i hadnt done in years.
I find it easier to make a list of about 6 items before i go, and instead of rushing around like a bull in a china shop i concentrate on my list ,that way my thoughts are distracted from the panic.
Just keep doing it Wendy everyday, even if it just a little supermarket or corner shop to start with, it will then become second nature hun.

Heres another link that may help too
WHY SUPERMARKETS ??? (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=8217)

Good luck

Love

Andrea
xxxx

"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"

[domino]

Well i would shop on line, but then i would not get my discount!!! you see i work at asda, and if i,d live d nearer to you i would have picked it up for you hun. I hate going into supermarkets,although do,nt seem to mind working in one.

[Piglet]

I totally agree with Andy in that knowing what you want before you go in is a great help. I started in Nov with the local Marks and Sparks food hall just going in to get potato cakes and then working up from that.

I still cant do and don't want to do the big Tescos but I can do Superdrug and that used to be a hard one for me for some reason.

Start small to get your confidence and also think even if you do have a panic in the queue so flippin what - let the fear wash over you and go on its way (very hard I know).

This year I am taking a slightly different tack with my panic attacks in that I've decided to tell people rather than try and pretend I'm ok from now on and funnily enough it seems to be helping me already. I managed the dentist on Fri with not too much of a problem.

Love Piglet :)

"Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?" said Piglet.
"Supposing it didn't," said Pooh after careful thought.

[loopyangel]

hi there
i used to suffer with this problem alot myself
i found that if i ran my cupboards down an had no food i had no choice but to go in
i went at the quietest times an only got what i needed

also for me morrisons used to be the hardest
i think its got a lot to do with smell
i was reading an article somewhere that we assosiate a smell with happy an sad thoughts i think asda allways smells of doughnuts which used to meake me feel sick and being sick was another fear of mine try finding shops that u like the smell off i know it sounds strange but its somewhere to start
oh an also i never go with lots of layers of clothes on because when im warm an i get slightly anxious ifind i woprk my self up quicker

good luck xx

[seeker]

Hello, this used to get me down. I found taking an MP3 player (or walkman, as it was then) in with me helped. Queing irritates everyone, and makes everyone feel anxious - just people watch next ttime you are in the queue! You will see everyone shifting from foot to foot and checking their watch etc. And even some people putting their purchases down. No-one will be looking at you, though - just imagine you are all on your own, and it should become easier. Seeker

[shoegal]

You are not alone. I also have the same problem. I am fine in the shop, but panic at the till. I think it is because I feel trapped. I don't know how to make it stop because I have been doing my own shopping and fighting this fear for two years and it still hasn't got any better. The weird thing is, I don't even know what I don't like about it, the attacks just happen. Oh well, gotta keep trying!

Hope it gets easier for you. :)

Love shoegal xxx

[kate]

Unfortunately, the only way to overcome the problem is to keep exposing yourself to it. Running away at the first sign of panic, only reinforces in your mind that there is something to be scared of.

I used to either avoid going to the supermarket at all or run when I felt the first waves coming. BUT, after a long time of this happening, I started to just let the panic come, don't fight it, and it will eventually pass. Many a time I've been slumped over the shopping trolley in Asda in mid panic!

Even now, I sometimes have a panicky moment in the supermarket but seeing it through is the only way to overcome it.

Kate x





"Everybody's changing and I don't feel the same"

[wendy]

Thanks for the replies everyone, I was sure it was just me who shops at 1oomph! A relief in its self to know others have this problem too! I have decided that I am going to be extra brave and face asda again tomorrow

Thanks again

Wendy

[nomorepanic]

I used distraction.

Talking to the person in front/behind, talking to the checkout person or grabbing a magazine and reading that whilst queuing.

Above all just stay with the feeling and you will soon see that it goes away and won't get any worse.

Once you stop doing it then it gets worse.

Happy shopping and queuing.

Nicola

People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel

[mirry]

There is hope :D, I used to be too afraid to leave the house 6 years ago, after much struggling I got myself out there, yet still struggled with the shops alot. But here is an example of my day yesturday;

went into the news agents for stamps.
went into somerfield to get gravy. (joined a huge que)
went into Iceland to get eggs.
went into the pub to meet my friends for a coffee.

now days I tend to do what Nicola does, I talk to the person infront or behind me. Also where I used to pack my bags in a rush , I now pack them slowely because when it comes to paying the person I am kept busy with the packing. My heart can still race a bit.

Also I have a strange habit of having the exact money ready [Sigh...].


mirryx

[honeybee3939]

Hi

Another good distraction i use when at the checkout if i have to wait in a queue, is to look at the items in my shopping basket, i read the ingredients on a item or look at the different fat contents they have. (I Dont usually check the fat content on the cadburys creme egg though)! Thats my treat for been brave !

Love

Andrea
xxxx

"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"

[mirry]

Yeah I read the contents of food, also I look in other peoples baskets to see what they have got (im nosey like that ) lol, basically think of anything other than the panic.

Another thing is, I feel safer if I get to know the checkout girl ? why this is I dont know....Id rather go to someone I know than dont know.

12 oclock in the day is a good time to go to somersfield cos everyones having lunch :D .

Today I went in somersfields on the way to the school, I joined a huge que that didnt move in 15 mins !
Had to leave the que or I would be late for my daughter.

I tried :(

mirryx

[samc100]

Good on you Mirry - you went and if you were panic free you'd still have had to leave to get your daughter - so it is not your fault.

I play a a puzzle on my mobile phone or text some one just to keep me distracted in the queues.

[wendy]

Some good tips here, thanks for taking the time to help me

Decided based on this to nip out to my Tesco express (not the biggest of stores I know but a start I guess) I knew it would be busy so thought Id give it a go, got two magazines and the distraction does work, Prob read one of them from front to back by time it was my turn but none the less made it back and it wasnt too bad, quite painless infact, my try the big bad asda tomorrow (my worse for some unknow reason)

Thanks again everyone! x

[ilovemoz]

god it does really really help to know i am not alone with this and that we are all experiencing the same feelings when we are standing in line,many a time in different supermarkets in mid line i have suddenly remembered i have left my car door open or car lights on and run out saying i wont be a mo when really i am sitting in my car raging with myself that i could not stand in line,i take my mp3 player also it does help or start counting all the prices of what you think each of your items will add up to !!!!! the things we do,also i am a bit of a hippy so no doctors drugs for me but what i do take and it has changed my life is a herbal tablet called "quiet life" it's just valerian and passiflora herbs but these herbs are the reason i can now go out for dinner or to the cinema or the supermarket,to think this time last year i could not even go into the garden and i have just this night returned from having a meal in the largest italian resturant in Glasgow ... good luck to everyone xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[jcb45]

I have the same problem. Two weeks ago, while at the checkout line at the supermarket, I started to feel lightheaded and thought that I would faint. I had to go to the emergency room and the doctor diagnosed heat exhaustion. Today, however, it happened again while at the check out line. I did not faint, but I started to feel a sense of dread, as if something terrible were going to happen to me. I visited the doctor today and had several tests, all normal. I am now afraid to go to the supermarket for fear this will happen again. This had never happened to me before. It is a terrible feeling of impending doom and my head tingles and I feel as if I had a tight band wrapped around my forehead. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

[plotlost]

I too suffer in supermarket/shop/waiting in lines etc etc. I think my major mental stumbling block is that I feel a heightened sense of self awareness and that it seems everyone is looking at me. this then triggers a feedback of even further panic in that if I appear to be akward, panicked etc then people will notice me even more.

I feel very trapped because if you were to run out, (fight or flight) everyone would look and maybe even think you were shop lifting etc.

As mentioned in another post, I feel the same panic when ever I see a police car or policeman because I imagine a nervous looking person must appear guilty or shifty?

Luckily, the self scan tills at supermarkets has meant reduced time waiting and no interaction with the person on the tills.

Im hoping when the meds kick in, all of these stupid, insane and trivial problems get easier?

[Zingything]

I wish I was able to shop in a supermarket, in person, but I find it too much to deal with and feel that I might draw attention to myself and look like I am shoplifting. Ocassionally I go out with my therapist but as a rule I take the easy option and order online.

[littleredhen]

Despite having had several panic attacks in supermarkets over the years, now I don't actually mind the shopping in the aisles bit. I quite like the anonymity of it and the semi-mindless wandering up and down (can't do it without a trolley and a shopping list to hang on to though).

What I can't stand is the check out. The queuing, the people before me, the people standing right up close behind me, the check out girl talking to me, feeling under pressure because people are seeing what I am buying - how much money I am spending - how quick I am to pack - stumbling over money and debit cards and remembering pins etc.

My previous supermarket panic attacks were all around the checkout - the first one was about 15 years ago when I had run through nearly £100 of goods and couldn't find my purse and there was a huge queue behind me - that triggered a MAJOR episode and I;m sure it's what my fear was on subsequent outings.

Now, like others, I shop on-line where I can, but otherwise I make a list and it gives me something to focus on. I take a small over the shoulder pouch with my purse, keys, phone and SEVERAL credits cards (just in case!) and I keep this over my front so i can keep checking that the money and the keys are there before I go to the checkout and then I grab a magazine to read while I'm queuing and if someone tries to talk to me I shout - "sorry, i'm a bit deaf - can't hear you" :D

[plotlost]

I wish I was able to shop in a supermarket, in person, but I find it too much to deal with and feel that I might draw attention to myself and look like I am shoplifting. Ocassionally I go out with my therapist but as a rule I take the easy option and order online.

Exactly the same here Zingy!

Im sure the logic is that we already feel lke we stand out because we feel anxiuos and akward, when in reality, we probably look exactly the same as everyone else.....

[Zingything]

I agree Plotlost, thinking about it rationally I most probably belnd in with everyone else, however when I start becoming anxious I do act a little differently, skulking about around the edge of the shop haaaaaa, my therapist pointed this out to me. Oh dear.

[plotlost]

I went to the supermarket today, not on my own but we were there for 45 mins atleast and at the end I felt perfectly normal and at ease.

Maybe the Cita is working already (day 3, and no booze for 3 days!), I did take 4mg of Diazepan before going so maybe this was the reason it wasnt so bad.

At first the nerves were bad and I was tempted to leave, but then I remebered what some posters had said about reading a list etc and distraction. It definately worked as I eventually calmed down and basically just did the shopping like a normal person.

Thanks for the posts which helped me out today.