Dracom
07-06-15, 20:45
I have a congenital disease and when I was young, I used to go through a ton of pain and the surgery to remove my tonsils was one of the most harrowing experiences in my life. Not only did I wake up intubated, the wounds failed to heal properly, causing me to swallow a ton of my blood and vomit it all up... In addition to that, the massive number of reports in the media about serious illnesses with the most unnoticeable symptoms and medical dramas have turned me into a hypochondriac. Now, any symptom that appears makes me spiral into despair and anxiety, helped along by Dr. Google. First, it was about my heart and then it was about my teeth. Now, it's the worst one yet...
I admit that it's not the best thing to do, Googling your own symptoms online. That is a sure-fire way to stress yourself out. However, I just can't resist the urge to find something to explain the unknown, which is terrifying in it's own right. Two weeks ago, I suddenly developed a very, very, very slight raspy voice. So slight that no one other than myself noticed it. As I am a trained singer, I could tell instantly that something wasn't right with my voice. Most websites stated that in cases of laryngitis, it would clear up in about two weeks.
However, as the two week deadline (unfortunate pun) neared, it felt that I was marching towards the gallows. During the last few days, I did more research (yes, I know) and found that thyroid swelling could press on the vocal nerves. I felt my throat and lo and behold, there was a swelling on the right side of my neck. I had gone to the ENT previously to complain of a small lump in my throat but they didn't find anything and didn't mention anything about my thyroid. Could it be the cause all those years ago? I cursed myself for not noticing the lump in my neck earlier (I am kinda fat).
At this point, I'm out of my mind with worry. One of the phrases that kept ringing in my head was the often heard "Earlier detection = greater chance of recovery". Could it be a swollen thyroid could it be the C-word??? The only thing that's keeping me sane is the statistic that 95% of thyroid nodules/swelling are benign. But why are my lymph nodes noticable??? Even if it wasn't does it mean that I will have to get it removed to recover my voice? Now I not only have to worry about serious laryngeal issues, I'm afraid for my thyroid as well... The symptoms fit so well... Hoarseness, swollen glands, fatigue, hair loss the works. Okay, maybe it's just a bad case of laryngitis/vocal nodules/LERD and a benign thyroid nodule/hyperthyroidism. But I'm just too scared to even begin to hope. The unlikely seems more likely and vice versa.
I cannot wait to see the ENT as quickly as possible (going to a private one in a couple of days), but I'm also terrified that he will confirm the worst... I never, never, never ever want to go through surgery again and feel pain. Just yesterday and this afternoon, I gave myself a horrendous bout of anxiety and panic attacks that I can't get a good night's sleep (night sweats), feel feverish, can't concentrate on any pleasurable activity and have lost almost all my appetite.
So, I guess my point is, has anyone experienced an instance where the symptoms seemed to point to something serious with almost 100% certainty only to be something completely harmless? Perhaps I'm just looking for comfort... and boy do I need it now.
I admit that it's not the best thing to do, Googling your own symptoms online. That is a sure-fire way to stress yourself out. However, I just can't resist the urge to find something to explain the unknown, which is terrifying in it's own right. Two weeks ago, I suddenly developed a very, very, very slight raspy voice. So slight that no one other than myself noticed it. As I am a trained singer, I could tell instantly that something wasn't right with my voice. Most websites stated that in cases of laryngitis, it would clear up in about two weeks.
However, as the two week deadline (unfortunate pun) neared, it felt that I was marching towards the gallows. During the last few days, I did more research (yes, I know) and found that thyroid swelling could press on the vocal nerves. I felt my throat and lo and behold, there was a swelling on the right side of my neck. I had gone to the ENT previously to complain of a small lump in my throat but they didn't find anything and didn't mention anything about my thyroid. Could it be the cause all those years ago? I cursed myself for not noticing the lump in my neck earlier (I am kinda fat).
At this point, I'm out of my mind with worry. One of the phrases that kept ringing in my head was the often heard "Earlier detection = greater chance of recovery". Could it be a swollen thyroid could it be the C-word??? The only thing that's keeping me sane is the statistic that 95% of thyroid nodules/swelling are benign. But why are my lymph nodes noticable??? Even if it wasn't does it mean that I will have to get it removed to recover my voice? Now I not only have to worry about serious laryngeal issues, I'm afraid for my thyroid as well... The symptoms fit so well... Hoarseness, swollen glands, fatigue, hair loss the works. Okay, maybe it's just a bad case of laryngitis/vocal nodules/LERD and a benign thyroid nodule/hyperthyroidism. But I'm just too scared to even begin to hope. The unlikely seems more likely and vice versa.
I cannot wait to see the ENT as quickly as possible (going to a private one in a couple of days), but I'm also terrified that he will confirm the worst... I never, never, never ever want to go through surgery again and feel pain. Just yesterday and this afternoon, I gave myself a horrendous bout of anxiety and panic attacks that I can't get a good night's sleep (night sweats), feel feverish, can't concentrate on any pleasurable activity and have lost almost all my appetite.
So, I guess my point is, has anyone experienced an instance where the symptoms seemed to point to something serious with almost 100% certainty only to be something completely harmless? Perhaps I'm just looking for comfort... and boy do I need it now.