View Full Version : So scared about breast problem
I posted a long rambly post about my breast worries lately, but basically I found a lump/ lumpy area that slides a bit when I press it, is sometimes tender or painful to press, doesn't feel like any particular shape, or particularly hard or soft, and has caused and is causing me so much anxiety I can't even put it into words. I'm going on holiday with my friend tomorrow for 5 nights and then a couple of days after I get back, I have an appointment at the breast clinic that my GP said he would make for me so that I would stop worrying. I can't stop worrying and I'm also scared not to worry, which probably sounds crazy. As I'm typing this I can feel pains under my breast near to where the lumpy bit is and under my arm and I just don't know how I can go on holiday like this. I felt ok- ish last night and I feel like this is punishment for that. I'm so terrified. A couple of people have said to me "even if it is something serious going on holiday and relaxing won't change that" which I know is rational but makes me even more scared. I can't cope. Despite the fact that the one thing everyone keeps saying to me is that at 18 my chance of having breast cancer is low etc, I cannot be reassured by that because I think, that doesn't mean impossible, and I do have this lump and pains (the first doctor I saw couldn't feel the lump examining me lying down, but when I pointed it out to her said it felt like normal breast tissue. However I'm not 100% sure she actually felt it and I'm now stressing that it's grown/ changed since then, although my mum doesn't think it has at all and always says it feels like a muscle but I used to have to feel around for ages to find it and now I don't and I can't even remember what it felt like then and... sorry gone off on a tangent!) and I can't think that there wouldn't be anything wrong. I'm so scared and I can't turn it off and even if I could I don't want to because I feel like I always have to think through every symptom and worst possibility and prepare but it's so terrifying. I've just been reading this website (I KNOW googling symptom is v bad, I'm trying to stop) that says lumps that are uneven are a bad sign and I think mine might be. I've also read that fibroadenomas are common in young girls but everything says that they are round and firm and roll around like a marble/ are rubbery and my lump i really wouldn't describe like that. I haven't got any other areas like this in either breast as far as I can tell and I just think if it's not that then it has to be something scary, I know there's probably lots of things it could be but it doesn't fit any of the descriptions I've read. I'm so scared and I'm just using this as an outlet now on the off chance someone might see and reply. My shoulder has also been really hurting and I'm worried that's a bad sign of something spreading, and also the bit joining my armpit to my boob (if that makes sense) feels kind of lumpy ish but I don't know if it's muscle. Even if I've blown some of these symptoms out of proportion I still have that lumpy area and I know I'm getting it checked out but I'm so terrified of something being found, even though everyone keeps telling me it should be fine- what if they're all wrong, even the doctors. Ok I will stop this now and hope that someone sees and maybe understands, I find it so reassuring to see other people on this website that think about things the same way I do. :-( xx
Bless your heart, I know exactly how you feel. You could almost be summing up all the thoughts I have ever had. What if I have shown GP the wrong bit? what if it has changed since I saw her? etc. I also know what you mean by being afraid not to worry. And I know that elling you that going on holiday for a few days won't make any difference to the outcome DOES NOT HELP....I KNOW!
However, it is much easier to be clear headed when it is not my own body and I would say to you:-
1. Trust your GP; he has checked you out and is only sending you for hospital app. to calm you down.
2. The area under you arm to your breast is the pec major muscle. I have stressed about it and been told many times.
3. Nothing you say sounds crazy. I have been there and it has turned out okay in the end. Like you I am afraid to stop worrying in case it takes me by surprise but I am much older than you. You are very unlikely to have BC especially as GP has checked you.
I really hope you can feel a little better and enjoy your break with your friend.:hugs:
Bless your heart, I know exactly how you feel. You could almost be summing up all the thoughts I have ever had. What if I have shown GP the wrong bit? what if it has changed since I saw her? etc. I also know what you mean by being afraid not to worry. And I know that elling you that going on holiday for a few days won't make any difference to the outcome DOES NOT HELP....I KNOW!
However, it is much easier to be clear headed when it is not my own body and I would say to you:-
1. Trust your GP; he has checked you out and is only sending you for hospital app. to calm you down.
2. The area under you arm to your breast is the pec major muscle. I have stressed about it and been told many times.
3. Nothing you say sounds crazy. I have been there and it has turned out okay in the end. Like you I am afraid to stop worrying in case it takes me by surprise but I am much older than you. You are very unlikely to have BC especially as GP has checked you.
I really hope you can feel a little better and enjoy your break with your friend.:hugs:
Thank you so much for your support, I really hope you're right :hugs:
Been there, done that, got the T-shirt - sorry to be flippant but I understand exactly what you're saying. I got so bad when I was in my 40s that my doctor agreed to see me every month after my period to do a breast check for me, because every time I did it myself I convinced myself I could feel something. He did this for a few months and then I was referred for group therapy (i was already on anti-depressants).
Listening to the other people in the group who were all suffering anxiety and depression and some of whom had phobias, put my fears into perspective and I did get better.
But it doesn't take much to plunge me back into just the sort of panic you are describing and going through all the worst-case scenarios you can dredge up. I really really hope you can have a few days holiday without this worry spoiling it for you.
Good luck, come back and tell us what happened!
Thank you :) the group therapy you described sounds really interesting by the way and is something I'd like to look into!
I'm back from the clinic. Examination found a small mobile lump that she said didn't feel worrying but I would have an ultrasound. Ultrasound just picked up glandular lumpy tissue and nothing abnormal showing on the screen, although she said she could feel something 'hopping away' when she pressed it, it didn't show as a lump on the screen. Then saw the consultant again and she said all normal, lumpy glandular tissue that I can feel because of being young and dense breast tissue etc. She said to keep checking as that's a good thing to do and if I'm ever worried about a lump to get it checked out.
I really really want to relax now and I'm hoping i'll be able to.. I'm guessing I should just trust that they wouldn't let me go if they weren't happy? The radiologist kept asking me where the lump was (even though they'd marked it with a cross) because she couldn't feel a discrete one although the consultant obviously could, but then the consultant said at the end that it was all just glandular. Should I relax?? Everyone's saying this is brilliant and I feel happy but in complete shock and disbelief in one way because I was so convinced something was wrong.
XX
It all sounds good to me so, yes ,I think you can calm down now. I do know how hard it is but I think you will find the panic dies down in a day or so now you have had the tests.
It all sounds good to me so, yes ,I think you can calm down now. I do know how hard it is but I think you will find the panic dies down in a day or so now you have had the tests.
Thank you and thank you for your support <3 I kind of know that if I were to demand they did more tests after I've been examined by specialists and scanned etc then maybe that would seem like going to far. I should probably just be happy/ grateful and relax!
I think so. All the best.
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