Gotagetthroughthis
07-06-15, 21:25
Hi all,
I have suffered with anxiety and depression for about 3 years now, I wont bore everyone with my full story but recently I have been really really bad, anxiety sky high and probably the most depressed I have ever been. Through all this I have had a really strange pressure and detached dizzy feeling in my head, i went to see a neurologist who said he is pretty much sure its nothing sinister but agreed to give me an MRI anyway as I had had CT scan before which was clear but I still had the symptoms. Anyway I had the MRI yesterday and I literally could not have felt worse since. I am literally traumatized by the experience, being stuck in a tube with a cage around my head and being unable to move. I actually cannot get the feelings and visualization of being stuck in there out of my head. I still feel claustrophobic and trapped even though I am out of the machine now. Its as though my mind is still in there. My main fears have always been around being trapped and death and I had some experiences when I was younger that may have triggered this. Since this MRI it seems to have kicked every fear I have into overdrive. Its like all my previous traumas have now been bought up to the surface.
I am at my lowest ever. I could not stop thinking about being in this machine and was the closest I have ever been to killing myself today even though that is another fear of mine, I feel that bad that I have no other option.
I do not know what to do, I really feel I am on my last legs and this has pushed me over an edge I cannot recover from.
I don't even know why im posting because I feel like nothing and knowone can help but I guess im just trying anything and trying to keep distracted. Doctors cannot suggest anything that helps. I see a psychologist who lets me offload but I feel I get nowhere.
I am traumatized and my mind is convinced it is trapped, I cannot rationalise or get any moment of relief or take these thoughts out of my head and I cannot take this pain anymore.
I have suffered with anxiety and depression for about 3 years now, I wont bore everyone with my full story but recently I have been really really bad, anxiety sky high and probably the most depressed I have ever been. Through all this I have had a really strange pressure and detached dizzy feeling in my head, i went to see a neurologist who said he is pretty much sure its nothing sinister but agreed to give me an MRI anyway as I had had CT scan before which was clear but I still had the symptoms. Anyway I had the MRI yesterday and I literally could not have felt worse since. I am literally traumatized by the experience, being stuck in a tube with a cage around my head and being unable to move. I actually cannot get the feelings and visualization of being stuck in there out of my head. I still feel claustrophobic and trapped even though I am out of the machine now. Its as though my mind is still in there. My main fears have always been around being trapped and death and I had some experiences when I was younger that may have triggered this. Since this MRI it seems to have kicked every fear I have into overdrive. Its like all my previous traumas have now been bought up to the surface.
I am at my lowest ever. I could not stop thinking about being in this machine and was the closest I have ever been to killing myself today even though that is another fear of mine, I feel that bad that I have no other option.
I do not know what to do, I really feel I am on my last legs and this has pushed me over an edge I cannot recover from.
I don't even know why im posting because I feel like nothing and knowone can help but I guess im just trying anything and trying to keep distracted. Doctors cannot suggest anything that helps. I see a psychologist who lets me offload but I feel I get nowhere.
I am traumatized and my mind is convinced it is trapped, I cannot rationalise or get any moment of relief or take these thoughts out of my head and I cannot take this pain anymore.