Laurenita
07-06-15, 23:44
Hi everyone,
It's been a LONG time. I used to be a regular on this site. I've just been thinking about the time I used to worry about whether I'd accidentally killed people without realising, & the times I'd literally have to create stories up in my head and learn to be okay with them, just to get past my anxiety surrounding them.
I accepted that I was a pyschopath, a murderer, going to die etc. as exposure therapy enabled me to work through these issues.
Two years on, I realised I had a thing called 'false memory OCD.' I also developed extreme intrusive thoughts. At times I thought my boiler was speaking to me. I was never in a state of psychosis because, as my therapist said, I was ALWAYS completely aware. I just simply had EXTREME anxiety where uncertainty riddled my brain.
Two/ three years later, I'm about to graduate with a 2.1 in history and English ( and despite my past fears!) will hopefully be becoming an English teacher ☺️ I just wanted to let you all know, that if I can do it, ANYBODY CAN. I realised I got myself in a hole of self-pity because people told me that it was okay to have bad days. But my advice to you is DONT stay in bed all day. Don't feel sorry for yourself. As much as mental illness is a trap of the mind, you have to remember that it is YOU making the decision and it is only you that can get yourself out of it. There's two boxes you can choose to put your thoughts in: 1) the box you can do nothing about 2) the box that you can actively change.
It's been a LONG time. I used to be a regular on this site. I've just been thinking about the time I used to worry about whether I'd accidentally killed people without realising, & the times I'd literally have to create stories up in my head and learn to be okay with them, just to get past my anxiety surrounding them.
I accepted that I was a pyschopath, a murderer, going to die etc. as exposure therapy enabled me to work through these issues.
Two years on, I realised I had a thing called 'false memory OCD.' I also developed extreme intrusive thoughts. At times I thought my boiler was speaking to me. I was never in a state of psychosis because, as my therapist said, I was ALWAYS completely aware. I just simply had EXTREME anxiety where uncertainty riddled my brain.
Two/ three years later, I'm about to graduate with a 2.1 in history and English ( and despite my past fears!) will hopefully be becoming an English teacher ☺️ I just wanted to let you all know, that if I can do it, ANYBODY CAN. I realised I got myself in a hole of self-pity because people told me that it was okay to have bad days. But my advice to you is DONT stay in bed all day. Don't feel sorry for yourself. As much as mental illness is a trap of the mind, you have to remember that it is YOU making the decision and it is only you that can get yourself out of it. There's two boxes you can choose to put your thoughts in: 1) the box you can do nothing about 2) the box that you can actively change.