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Henson1980
09-06-15, 16:29
My anxiety came back with a vengance last night and today I feel awful. The last time I felt this way was 4 years ago when I left my job of 8 yrs and went into a job I hated - anyway I manged to find a new job that I loved and so the anxiety seemed to melt away.

So now my issue is, constant worry and fear about my 14 year old son, he has always been a worrier and a very sensitive child, he has small worries that grow into big worries and will feel the need for constant reassurance, but even then he still worries! So a few examples of late would be, some kid brought a mouth spray into school and was passing it around, my son tried it then afterwards wondered what could have been in it as it didnt taste like a mouth spray, so he panicked, thought he was going to get ill, obviously we reassured him and it turned out it was just salt water. He had a bloodshot eye a year ago and panicked that it was something bad, he wont go abroard because hes scared the plane could crash, basically he seems scred of everything. Yet generally he's a really funny kid, he has a great sense of humour and is really grown up for his age.
So this is where my worry for him is coming from, but lately my anxiety and constant thinking about him has just hit an all time high, I felt pretty good yesterday, but then it all went down hill very quickly. He really wanted a Wii Games Console to keep him occupied and to keep fit, I managed to source a second hand one, so we went to collect it last night, it was an old couple that were selling it, when I got in the car he asked me who I had brought it from, I explained it was an old couple, he seemed relieved and said 'oh good because I had been worrying about it', I asked why, he said because if it was from someone else you just dont know what they could have put in it, I asked him why he was thinking like that, he said he didnt know, he said that i was making a big deal out of it, but we had a similar experience the other week with emails, he deleted his email becasue he said any weirdo could find out where he lives!! These types of worries always seem to stem from something he has either heard or seen or read, im forever telling him to stay of the news or twitter etc if it bothers him but he still goes on.

Ok, so sorry for the long ramble but I massively could do with some reassurance today, I cant eat, iv been to the loo 5 times already, Im constantly googling stuff about teenage anxiety (maybe thats not helping) but I have got myself into such a state im thinking all sprts, what if he has some serious mental illness, what if i cant handle it, what if everyone thinks the pair of us are crazy, what if he is like this for the rest of his life????? (he had his first session with school counsellor last week) im wondering if this bout of anxiety/and maybe depression is excaberating the way im thinking about this situation, the doc has prescribed me 20mg of fluoxetine as I suffer with bad PMT, I havent taken it yet and now I wish I had then I might not feel so bad!!

Aoplogies for the massive ramble, but I could really do with some sound advice on the situation!! Thanks Guys

Crystalhiggs
10-06-15, 13:36
Hello again, oh you poor thing kids can be such a worry at the best of times. Firstly you need to focus on feeling better within yourself. You can't help your son if you're not ok it's like on an airplane when they say put your own life jacket on first before a child's, you need to be ok if you're going to deal with this so please do everything you can to relax, do some deep breathing (in for 7 out for 11 works for me) and when you feel calmer you will feel more rational about things.

Your son does sound like a worrier but also like he has his head screwed on. I know we were talking about it last week and I mentioned that my son is also a worrier although he's only 10. As they get older they discover more and more about the world and are still trying to make sense of it and sometimes it can be a scary place.

I've been suffering insomnia and my son couldn't get to sleep the other night and said oh no mummy I think I have insomnia too. I trivialised it but in a respectful way and just said children can't get insomnia, just relax and you'll drift off naturally which of course he did. But I'm realising that the more I discuss the finer points with him the worse he gets, so if I give him the overall impression that there's nothing to worry about it seems to help more. But I do always acknowledge his worries and show him that I understand and I care so that he doesn't feel silly or devalued. Again, he is younger than your son but I think sometimes there has to be a balance if you know what I mean.

Also, as he gets older your son will be able to rationalise things more and I'm no expert but I imagine 14 is a tricky age for boys with all their hormones etc so it could be that at the moment things feel a bit more worrisome than usual.

But as we said last week he has a secure home life and lots of support so whatever is going on for him he has that safe base and I think that counts for a lot. He will be ok I'm sure of it.

Hope that helps a little. Xxx

Henson1980
13-06-15, 06:57
Thank you for your reply Crystal, I don't know why this has become so overwhelming for me really, it's not like he's being any different to how he normally is apart from maybe talking about things a bit more which is good, but really hard for me to hear because of course, he's my son and I just want him to be happy. I think I've just come to a point where so many little things have just got on top of me that this is now the result. I've started taking fluoxetine this week which I'm hoping will help with my anxiety over things and the low mood I have been experiencing, unfortunately it doesn't come without the side effects so heightened anxiety, nausea, and trouble sleeping but I know this will pass in the next week so I'm seeing it though because just like you said I need to feel good in myself to be able to be there for him. I think I just need to take each day as it comes, yesterday I felt a lot better, today not so much, but I have 3 photoshoots lined up and don't intend on letting my customers down so I will just have to get on with it!! 😁
Thanks for your advice Crystal, you speak a lot of sense and have provided me with a lot of reassurance over the last week when I needed it most! Your son is a very lucky boy to have a mum like you! ☺️