bipolar [Archive] - No More Panic

fluff

09-06-15, 19:50

Does anyone else on here have a form of bipolar, im finding the switch between hypomania and depression very hard to handle. Its like no middle ground very often. Ive tried to find people to chat to on dif sites but I norm find help here as when o had anxiety which I still have aswell.

---------- Post added at 19:50 ---------- Previous post was at 19:48 ----------

I think also im unsure I even have this but have been told by a gp and two psychiatrists now, its quite hard coming to terms with

yvonne_uk_98

09-06-15, 20:59

Hi Fluff,

I have bi-polar, I have rapid cycle, I can understand where you coming from. its like a roller coaster to start with, eventually will get better. just takes time.:hugs:

fluff

09-06-15, 21:30

Davit

09-06-15, 21:53

I have a bipolar friend who knows a bipolar support site she swears by. I think it is ten dollars a month though. I can get you the site if you would like.

yvonne_uk_98

10-06-15, 00:23

Goodness me :D hello I havnt been on here for a while Ive had very bad depression on and off though winter. I have been told im cyclothymic bipolar 3 but I have been rapid cycling aswel, im having to keep mood diaries. When you were told you had bipolar were you abit shocked I havnt told many people due to the stigma which surrounds it.
Nice to hear from you
Fluff xx

Fluff,

I recognised that there was something not quite right with myself, I did things that where not quite right. I sort of knew I had bi-polar, was not sure which one. When the dr told me what one I had, I was glad to put a name to it.

I had to learn what my triggers where, I too had to keep a diary of my moods. its the only way we learn and take note. not to watch out for them. just note them down, when we realise we are in them.

when I go out with a friend shopping, I've asked my friend to allow me to buy one thing and one thing more that matches. tell me to stop. which helps me very much. means I do not over spend. After taking note of it, I put coping ways to help deal with being in a high.

it takes time. you will get there. :hugs:

keep posting on here, let me know how your doing. take each day at a time.

MyNameIsTerry

10-06-15, 04:58

Hi fluff,

I used to attend walk-in sessions for people with anxiety & depression and I once met a really nice lady there who was trying to become one of the meeting cooridinators and applying for work. She said she was bipolar part way through and I can't say there was anything that would ever show this so I assumed she has anxiety/depression.

No one cared, to all of us she was someone suffering with mental health issues and should be treated the same as everyone else - with respect & support.

Maybe there are groups local to you?

I understand what you mean about stigma. The media are very unhelpful when it comes to conditions like bipolar and schizophrenia as they look for the extremes to sensationise it. We won't ever see someone bipolar who just gets on with things unless they decide to drop it from the storyline and then it will barely get a mention. Eastenders has badly portayed this in my opinion and whilst it may reflect the opinions of the ignorant elements of society, I always hated how they looked down on poor Gene Slater.

I saw what looked like a good book written by a doctor who was bipolar called Mood Mapping. I read some of it in the shop (took a few visits, of course :D) and it used a 4 box grid to describe the 4 mood states. It then explained how you track and manage them e.g. when you are having a good period try to overdo things to bring a bad stage back. Thats a very vague recollection so I might have described that badly.

It looked interesting from an anxiety sufferer's point of view to me because it makes sense to keep track of your moods and to reign yourself in and not overdo it as that can make us feel depressed when we end up taking too much on.

At least now they can look at the correct forms of medication to help you as opposed to you being a guinea pig on anxiety meds.

When someone says something about bipolar in relation to how the media portay it and I always think of Stephen Fry. A very intelligent, nice man and now the president of MIND!

Davit

10-06-15, 06:29

I have my friends credit card because I wouldn't let her cut it up. She can have it if she needs to fly home but not to play on Ebay. Credit cards are hard to get if you are on a pension. Her decision. The spending was getting out of hand even on medication. Lithium did stop the mood swings though. She has anxiety though and takes meds for that too. You would not know she is Bipolar or has anxiety. So why do we treat it like something bad instead of like Diabetes or high blood pressure. People take medication for them. I take pills every day too, just none for a mental condition. And I'm not ashamed of having a panic disorder, in fact I'm rather proud that I beat it.

fluff

10-06-15, 07:29

Thankyou for all your lovely replies Davit yes please if you could message me the info on the other site be nice I can check it out.
Yvonne yes im exactly the same with spending yesterday I went out spent all my money on clothes I have a rather big wordrobe and think I need to def calm it dowb, its a good job im unable to get credit from anywhere to stop me getting in more debt. Yvonne did you sometimes feel like you had different persomalities sometimes I feel im quite child like then im the intelligent lady I used to be or I have big anger rages they build and build lucky I know I have to be alone to find a way of getting rid of tje anger.
Terry I do believe there is a support group near me just a funny time as I have a 4 year old perhaps I find out if I can bring him along. That book sounds great and also the way you explained over doing it when in good mood makes alot of sense before my diagnosis people woulds say about dont over do it, then I def would crash and then be anoyed because all my grand planns I had wete destroyed, looking back on my life the amount of dif hobbies or groups or job plans ive had makes me sound a genius. The latest is a writer I would love to write a book :)
Anyway thankyou all for your time, im going to try a tai chi lesson today will let you know how I get on :)

fluff

10-06-15, 14:30

Im back from tai chi, it went really well everyone was very welcoming to me :)
I feel quite calm since leaving.

yvonne_uk_98

10-06-15, 23:02

Yvonne did you sometimes feel like you had different persomalities sometimes I feel im quite child like then im the intelligent lady I used to be or I have big anger rages they build and build lucky I know I have to be alone to find a way of getting rid of tje anger.

Fluff,

yes sometimes I feel like a child,do really childish things. then feel really cleaver and take on the world, then come tumbling down like a big ton of bricks,got to pick my self back up, its one big climb back up.

I would take on more than I could cope with,then I would have to look at what I took on last, as that would be the first to go. its one big learning curve.

MyNameIsTerry

11-06-15, 07:36

Glad the class went well.

yvonne_uk_98

11-06-15, 16:59

Glad your tai chi class went well. :)

fluff

11-06-15, 21:14

So nice to know someone else with the same illness and how you explain things I completly understand :)
Today was a good day ive been doing alot and keeping busy and felt realy happy, done alot of gardening today and its starting to look lovely

Davit

11-06-15, 21:29

In some respects bipolar is better than other mental conditions. You can still function with it. It helps if you have someone watch your moods till you can spot the changes.

Happy gardening. Busy seems to help Karin a lot. I have a few seeds to stick in and some peppers to transplant and then I can start weeding. I love it.

yvonne_uk_98

12-06-15, 14:02

Gardening is good Fluff, just wish I had the energy to keep going.

I enjoy doing it now, come to think of it, I never used to enjoy gardening.

how are you today? hope you doing well. :hugs:

fluff

12-06-15, 16:33

I was ok but not that great now abit cross and upset, I didnt sleep that well last night and had strange thoughts going around not anything bad as such.

fluff

14-06-15, 15:50

Been swimming with my son today was nice, ive been battleling through the tiredness and feeling irritable. Hopefully weather will be nicer tomorow that seems to lift my mood

yvonne_uk_98

15-06-15, 02:09

Fluff,

its good to go swimming, glad you had good day with your son. :)

I hope you have a good night sleep and rest, hope you feel refreshed tomorrow. :hugs:

Hope you have a better day tomorrow.

fluff

15-06-15, 09:52

Thanks yvonne. I feeling better today my son goes to nursery this morn so give me a chance to catch up onjobs at home. My sleep was better I think I have to try and get into some routine x

yvonne_uk_98

16-06-15, 18:38

How are you doing today Fluff? hope you had a good day today.

fluff

16-06-15, 21:44

yvonne_uk_98

16-06-15, 23:05

Well I painted my bathroom did lots of chores started hving lots of racing thoughts and jumping from task tp task then got cross as council were ment to turn up so I had to get in touch rearrange again. Then mum over was abit stressful I feel like im being patronized. Then had school to look around it is a lovely school bit keep having to organise things to get my sons dad involved even though he should really call the school himself to sort stuff I have enough to sort myself with letters and just being a mum

Fluff,

I just wrote a lot, when I hit the send button, it all disappeared while I tried to copy it, just in-case.
Here I go again.

What color did you paint your bathroom?

Your racing thoughts, terrible, have you tried telling your thoughts to stop. :hugs:

I have, I would tell my thoughts to stop. Then I would think of a blank sheet of paper, keep repeating blank sheet of paper over and over again, several times. I thought it would never work, it did, and eventually I only need to tell my thoughts to stop.

Plus I go into my room make sure I had nothing in the room that would distract me. Or sometimes I would sit on my chair, and close my eyes, I would go to my secret room, has a lovely comfortable couch, beautiful flowers on the walls with sweet smell, and beautiful windows looking out to peaceful countryside, with flowers, and the beauty of the world. This helps me to try to stop my thoughts from racing. Its to help keep you calm. :)

Try to do one task at a time, not rush about doing things, they will get done. You’re a great mum. :yesyes:

fluff

17-06-15, 08:52

yvonne_uk_98

17-06-15, 21:25

Hi yvonne your always full of lovely positives for me thankyou :)
The bathroom is lilac so a relaxing colour for me. im going to go to tai chi today as it helped alot last week.
I will try the blank paper thought sounds a very good idea.
I will just fill in one school form today I do find forms difficult I dont know why but at least by doing one I wont get it wrong.
Hope you are feeling ok today x

Fluff,

You are very welcome. :) that is a lovely color to paint your bathroom. I hope you enjoy your tai chi class.

I had a busy day today, tired now. hope you have a good evening. :hugs:

fluff

18-06-15, 09:29

Hi yvonne tai chi was really good its a funny class but o find its helping to calm me so im going to try and keep it up. Its worth it to keep calmer lol

Sorry you feeling so tired I went to bed quite early last night aswell, I did sleep right througj
H aswell made a change xx

yvonne_uk_98

18-06-15, 17:38

Hi Fluff,

Glad your tai chi class was good.

Glad to hear you had a good night sleep.

Hope you have a good evening. :)

fluff

18-06-15, 20:29

Feel bloody overwhelmed......
I just filled lots of forms in been busy today rushing around after little one today. Got to start therapy soon and have a jobcentre apointment next week along with a pip assessment :-/
Then theres just norm everyday running a home, got to think about working soon as I really cant live off the benefits when son starts school its too much of a struggle for us. Got to sort through kitchen as it being updated soon which sounds lovely but will all be quite an anxious time for me

yvonne_uk_98

19-06-15, 01:46

no wonder you feel overwhelmed :hugs:

How old is your little one? I hope you do well with your pip assessment.

I can understand it being a struggle being on benefits, its horrible, that's why I trying to start my own business, off small to start with, its taking bit longer than expected to get it up and running.

when you feel anxious, try a wee bit of grounding yourself.

say your sitting on the chair in the living room, your feeling anxious, sit in your chair, (couch), put you feet on the floor, and your hands on your knees, then look around the room, speak out loud what you see, (like: table near window, lamp on table, chair next to table, two bags on the floor, fireplace with teddy, some ornaments, picture on the wall, all the way round to yourself on the chair(couch)).

this helps take your mind of your anxiousness, its called grounding.

hope you have blessed night sleep. :)

fluff

19-06-15, 09:37

Hello yvonne :)
my son is 4. He at nursery this morning for a few hours so catching up lol
That sounds good with own buisness funny you say that as ive got some cards made up recently I am qualified animal carer thought I could do some pet sitting in my local area but not going to try till sept just been finding out insurance etc. I can also work in schools as have a certificate aswell but not entirely suredue to my illness they will allow me.
That sounds good idea I will try that grounding x

yvonne_uk_98

19-06-15, 10:49

Aww he sounds sweet. thanks, well I be looking forward to hearing how you get on with starting up your own business, takes time. as we got to get a good few things done first before we can start.

I planning on doing level 2 food & hygiene course, and see if I can get some kind of funding to help me start up. to do level 2, I can open a shop then.

---------- Post added at 10:49 ---------- Previous post was at 10:48 ----------

hope you have a blessed day today. :hugs:

fluff

19-06-15, 12:34

That sounds a good idea then you can work tje hours you want. I think we both have to do it slow of not we can get overwhelmed :)
Have a lovely day im going to take my son to his faviourite soft play centre this afternoon x

yvonne_uk_98

21-06-15, 20:07

I agree with ya Fluff,

I hope your having a good day today. :hugs:

fluff

22-06-15, 12:19

Seem to have slipped into depression again very negativecl thoughts needing to be alone again :-(

yvonne_uk_98

23-06-15, 17:12

Fluff,

Sorry to hear that, you can do it, you will get through this, its a blip, I have faith in you.

hope you start to feel better soon. :):hugs:

fluff

23-06-15, 20:28

Thankyou when im like this I think theres no going back its awful, I keep thinking am I a child why cant I seem to grow up why am I unable to find my way. Need to belong somewhere do you find that?
I having trouble understanding all these changes aswell with the benefits system.

yvonne_uk_98

25-06-15, 04:11

yes Fluff, I find that, there maybe no going back, there always a way forward, that would be to be positive, aiming for a small goal to start with.

lets do it, one step at a time, small baby steps, You will get there,

I started my test a little after 10 pm, I kept falling asleep, there's a dead line, to do the test, I didnt have the time after last night, I needed to do it. done now. it was a small step, though seemed huge, it really was a small step.

Hope you have a blessed day today. :)

fluff

25-06-15, 18:20

Thats great you have finished the test. :D
Im starting to feel better today going to have some me time this evening paint nails look after myself xx

yvonne_uk_98

26-06-15, 19:47

Glad your feeling better, hope you have a blessed day and a good weekend. :hugs:

fluff

26-06-15, 19:51

Thankyou
Hope your day is blessed aswell x

yvonne_uk_98

29-06-15, 01:44

Fluff,

your welcome.

How are you, Did you have a good weekend?:hugs:

fluff

01-07-15, 11:40

It was quite nice thankyou, been very busy with my son all this hot weather. Think im bit shattered now might try have a rest this afternoon x

yvonne_uk_98

01-07-15, 20:05

have a good rest Fluff, dont over do it. take it easy this evening. :):hugs:

got my car to get checked tomorrow

hope you have blessed evening.

fluff

02-07-15, 12:16

Really fed up today thoughts spiralling from one thing to another :( any stress triggers it off x
Was hoping for a nice day today things were going so well

yvonne_uk_98

02-07-15, 16:24

Aww, sorry to hear that. try writting it all down on paper, as each though spralling from one thing to the other. it might be of some help.

hope your racing thoughts calm down soon. take it easy, try not to get stressed, yeah I know easier says than done. take small steps.

I think your trying to do it all at once, your kind of taking on too much. one thing at a time. :):hugs:

fluff

02-07-15, 17:35

Im not sure really I find im doing well then one thing can knock me completly back to square one its so frustrating.
I find I have to hide from people aswell I try pushing away and over think it all x

yvonne_uk_98

03-07-15, 00:36

I hope you feel better tomorrow, I can understand what that is like. that sometimes happens. you doing well, then all of a sudden, sort of back to square one, you really not back to square one, just feels that way. :hugs:

how many days were you doing well? rough idea, how many. try not to push anyone away, try and climb out of being back at square one.

its good to think about it, think it through. :)

fluff

03-07-15, 10:07

I think it was about 5-6 days of feeling great :)
That sounds a really good idea, I think I like to have a plan a future a way forward. Im constantly flitering between different hobbies or career ideas but never seem to get anywhere x

yvonne_uk_98

03-07-15, 16:44

there you are, you have 5 - 6 days of feeling great, How many days do you have of feeling your back to square one? :hugs:

kind of helps knowing, can move forward with it.

hope you have blessed weekend. :)

fluff

05-07-15, 12:59

Right starting to feel better today :) thank goodness. May have helped getting 7 hours of sleep aswell

yvonne_uk_98

05-07-15, 19:56

Glad to hear your feeling better today, :)

yeah having 7 hours of sleep will help you feel better.

hope you have blessed day today. :hugs:

fluff

08-07-15, 19:01

Really fed up and in lots of pain seem to have done back in, couldnt visit sons school as he now got chicken pox been trying not to show my anxiety too much. Had a therapy session today seemed ok now waiting for another appointment. Im just shattered aswell.

yvonne_uk_98

09-07-15, 01:54

Sorry to hear your fed up and in pain, hope your back gets better soon. glad to hear your therapy session went well. :hugs:

hope you have a blessed and better day tomorrow. :)

fluff

09-07-15, 11:27

Ended up at doctors been given tablets for pain, I feel anoyed as I want to get on with things that need doing but cant at the moment :-/

yvonne_uk_98

10-07-15, 01:42

Dont be annoyed at yourself, you can only do so much. :hugs:

you need to rest and take it easy, take one step at a time,

hope your back starts to get better soon. hope you are not in so much pain.

sending you some hugs:

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

yvonne_uk_98

13-07-15, 15:49

Hi Fluff, how are you? hope your having a blessed day today. :hugs:

fluff

13-07-15, 19:14

Hi there im feeling alot better today thankyou think the wellbeing people are going to really be able to help me with my problems:hugs:

yvonne_uk_98

14-07-15, 22:03

That is good news Fluff, really pleased for you. :):hugs:

hope you have a blessed evening. :)

yvonne_uk_98

16-07-15, 20:51

How are you doing Fluff? hope your having a good day. :)

fluff

17-07-15, 09:58

Hi I seem to be doing alright I even have lots of disruption and I have builders in lol. I seem to be very organised but not doing too much or too little :-) im looking forward to the weekend aswell

yvonne_uk_98

20-07-15, 01:41

hope you had a blessed weekend. my you sound very busy. good to hear your taking your time.

mezzaninedoor

20-07-15, 12:52

Hope you had a good weekend.
Im not bipolar, I have mania and depression but my cycle seems very drawn out as I have been in the anxious / depressive dip for a long while now.
The anxiety is exhausting itself with the prickly adrenaline feeling constant.

fluff

21-07-15, 20:57

I did have a lovely weekend thankyou, I have been swimming then been running on monday and a bike ride today. I still have builders in but have been fine with it all :)

yvonne_uk_98

22-07-15, 01:01

Glad to hear you had a lovely weekend. your keeping yourself busy, :hugs:

hope you have good day tomorrow. :)

yvonne_uk_98

23-07-15, 20:39

Fluff,

Hope your doing well. hope you have a blessed weekend. :hugs:

fluff

24-07-15, 09:40

Hi yes thanks I went to the coast yesterday and walked for about 4 hours am feeling the ache today :)

mezzaninedoor

24-07-15, 11:44

exercise is really good for us

I find it really hard to motivate to exercise and I live near the coast as well, the low mood just makes me thinks its all too much faff but ultimately I know it would be good for me

I do force myself to walk to my parents and parents in law which is a mile or so

yvonne_uk_98

26-07-15, 01:23

Hi yes thanks I went to the coast yesterday and walked for about 4 hours am feeling the ache today :)

Fluff,

Wow, hope you had a good long walk, hope your aches get better soon. hope you have blessed weekend. :)

exercise is really good for us

I find it really hard to motivate to exercise and I live near the coast as well, the low mood just makes me thinks its all too much faff but ultimately I know it would be good for me

I do force myself to walk to my parents and parents in law which is a mile or so

Mezzaninedoor,

yes exercise is good for us, I agree with ya. :) well done for making yourself go for a walk, helps to take our mind off ourselves. hope you have a blessed weekend. :):hugs:

yvonne_uk_98

31-07-15, 12:03

Fluff,

How are you? hope your having a good day today, hope you have good weekend. :):hugs:

fluff

01-08-15, 11:01

Ive been doing ok, to be honest ive been so busy as school hols havnt had much time to be on here lol
By the time my son in bed im on sofa watch tv for an hour then bed :)
We have been busy doing lots of childrens activities and went to the castle aswell. This weekend im relaxing as my son off to see his dad for the weekend, and I can catch up on things at home.

yvonne_uk_98

01-08-15, 23:13

Glad to know your doing well, having good time with your son. :)

Hope you and your son have a blessed week. :)

fluff

06-08-15, 14:48

Had two not so good days, but it was because I just needed a day on my own to try and ground myself. Been on a bike ride today still feeling better than I have :)

fluff

10-08-15, 18:05

Felt quite rubbish again for most of weekend lots of raceing thoughts about what I should be doing etc I also find it easy when I dont have people in my home. I find I get quite agitated when I need to be alone, got a day out tomorow which should be nice

yvonne_uk_98

11-08-15, 23:30

hope your day out is good, sorry to hear your not been feeling great, hope you feel better soon. :):hugs:

fluff

12-08-15, 09:14

Hi year feeling alot better now thanks, had a good day out and a good sleep lol
Seem to have loads going on then I couldnt sleep well the night before with lots of different thoughts, even past thoughts which really is anoying when they like from bloody years ago.
I feel I get abit overwhelmed sometimes deadmanwalking then im ok lol

---------- Post added at 09:14 ---------- Previous post was at 09:13 ----------

Sometimes I write things on here then I realise im not logged in then start again :)

yvonne_uk_98

13-08-15, 22:56

Fluff,

Glad to hear your feeling better, had a good night sleep, Fluff.

hope you also have a better day today and tomorrow. :hugs::)

yvonne_uk_98

25-08-15, 23:59

Fluff,

How are you? what you been doing these days? hope you are well. :):hugs:

fluff

26-08-15, 14:27

Hi there I was just about to post :)
Im doing really well thanks have managed to get on a part time course its 3 hours a week, also have some training with a company working with families in need and will have a little work after my training. Im feeling like im able to balance my life a little better, dont get me wrong ive had my moments :) but am able to say ok slow down and ground myself again. :) also feeling I have things to look forward to again has boosted my self esteem. Yesterday I ran into an old work collugue and she didnt reconise it was me at first ( I used to be overweight actually 4,5 stone overweight now im normal weight) so I was well pleased :)

yvonne_uk_98

30-08-15, 16:51

Well Done :yahoo:

that's the best news I've heard in a long time, keep up the good work. :)

fluff

01-09-15, 17:46

Thankyou :) x

yvonne_uk_98

04-09-15, 00:33

Fluff,

Your welcome. What have you been up to this week? hope you had a blessed week. :)

fluff

04-09-15, 09:21

yvonne_uk_98

07-09-15, 19:34

Hi yvonne, ive started some work training helping families in crisis well It starts properly end of september, we get taught about depression abuse a first aid course. Im really looking forward to it :) then I start a community health and wellbeing course in two weeks time, its all part time so I wont get too overwhelmed. I did apply for a school job but didnt hear back( but now tginking thats probably a good thing as I know sometimes if im doing to much it tips me over the edge)
My sons starting school so lots of big changes which I have to try and adapt too :) cant beleive how quick they grow up :|

Fluff,

Glad to hear your doing some work training, I hope you enjoy it. :)

try and not do too much, I understand about doing too much, I stepping down from treasurer, will be the treasurer until the next agm at credit union. i coping with it thought, which is good. you'll soon know if your doing too much, you just take the last thing you added off. ease yourself into doing the work training, so that you do not take on too much.

wow that kool he starting school, yeah they grow up fast. :)

hope you have a blessed day today. :)

fluff

09-09-15, 17:12

Yes all changed again :-) I was offered the school job but now not doing the health course as its been cancelled anyway. Yes we must not do too much, im feeling anxiety at the moment will try and ground myself

yvonne_uk_98

09-09-15, 19:42

Fluff,

that great news, aww sorry to hear about your health course. grounding is really good. helps.

hope you have a blessed day today.

yvonne_uk_98

24-09-15, 03:42

Hi Fluff,

How are you doing these days, hope you are well. :hugs:

fluff

26-09-15, 20:43

Sorry not been in touch ive been through a low time, not sure but managed to just function im sure its all the changes. Had the awful raceing thoughts I think things will take time to adjust x

yvonne_uk_98

28-09-15, 23:40

that's alright Fluff, if your not feeling too great, it will take time to adjust, I hope you will start to feel better soon. sending you some hugs. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

mezzaninedoor

02-10-15, 15:15

hello folks, apols for not beng about ............

I was told about 3 weeks ago that I have BPD type 2

I've become quite uncommunicative since then, I was wobbling after a failed return to work and my Meds have all been altered mg wise following this diagnosis, it crept up on me as I was just expecting a home visit from my case worker and then there was a locum Psychiatrist appointment that suddenly became available

They have lowered my Venuflaxine but are looking to up my Quetiapine by 6 times to 300mg if I can take it, I have become lethargic and have had a few headaches so at the moment Im a lot unsure of myself again though I think the Meds are working on the anxiety side of things Im not really sure how robust / resilient I am regards any return to work !!

has anyone got any thoughts on the high doses of Quetiapine ?

T

yvonne_uk_98

02-10-15, 18:21

Hi Mezz....,

sorry to hear that, I not on quetiapine anymore, sorry can not advice ya on that, hopefully someone will be able to give you some idea of it.

I cannot remember what they were like, long time ago. I now on flupentixol at the very low dose, works for me.

Fluff,

How are you, what have you been doing these days?

Hope you and Mezz.... have blessed weekend.:hugs:

mezzaninedoor

03-10-15, 00:36

thanks

fluff

05-10-15, 12:11

How are you now mezz?
Ive never been on quetiapine before, ive been on sertraline citalapram before which sent me really high,
Been on small dose of mirtzapine doc wants me on mood stabilisers next :-/
Yvonne im doing ok since friday thankyou ive started my new job. X

yvonne_uk_98

07-10-15, 19:31

Wonderful new Job, :yahoo:

Hope you have a blessed day today. :)

mezzaninedoor

08-10-15, 08:43

I wonder if this will help anyone x x

http://tonyamis.blogspot.co.uk/ Learning to Navigate , Learning to Blog. Hope this aides understanding. I have BiPolar type 2 (mixed) .... x

mezzaninedoor

13-10-15, 17:38

been trying to deal with another dip in my sleeping patterns and those challenges, have blogged some reflections on sleep hygiene ..........

The Sleep of Reason ........

We all know we need sleep, but I'm beginning to realise I really really need sleep, in order to stay normothymic with my BiPolar I need to adopt really good sleep hygiene and some days are better than others because of this ( along with many other factors ).

Good sleep hygiene means things like:-
If you wake up in the night, get up, dont fight it, give in for a while & then try again ..... dont use lit screens or watch tv when you wake up, by all means read or listen to something but dont watch. Well thats what appears on balance to work for me.
Stimulants and Sedatives will it seems affect high and low mood. This actually makes sense if you think about it, you are pushing for waking hours or you are pushing for sleeping hours, however there is a place for these in extreme or neccesary circumstances but good sleep hygiene I feel means coming off coffee, tea prior to the evening and it sedatives are PNR ( when required ) when really needed though maintenance meds have some sedative qualities as well.

There is an adage and to be honest its too early for me to see this for myself, when your medication is right your sleep is right, when your medication is wrong yada yada ..... guess that makes sense but at the moment I'm probably personally seeing too much variation from this. I have read this is to do with sympathetic and parasympathetic systems within the brain ....... good leads to better, bad leads to worse, we end up in cycles of no sleep because we have bad sleep hygiene, it gets a grip and cycles.

Hope above all makes some sort of sense

Tony x

http://tonyamis.blogspot.co.uk/

fluff

25-02-16, 22:09

Not really sure what I am at the moment I seem to have been up for a while but then came the racing thoughts and doing too much so I crashed, how wipl I ever really get along in life I do this all the time. I think I possibly should see my gp I am seeing a therapist at the moment well once a month I just want to calmly get on with my life a goals like others can do. It frustrates me when im doing so well I suddenly ce become like somewhat ive come out of a dream

---------- Post added at 22:09 ---------- Previous post was at 22:01 ----------

The two people I am, sometimes three.
The first one is very energetic full of ideas impulsive living life to the full. Wanting everything good I can find or do in life fast paced enthusiastic, smart, confident. Then it goes beyond that racing thoughts becoming irritable with anxiety thrown in!

Then the other person negative self hateing, suspicious wanting to give up on everything, isolation from people not wanting to be anywhere but in bed. Moving alot more slower this person is the ugly one who isnt worth the time, whats the point girl!

Then theres number three who I like the most calmer normal functioning able to have realisic goals and isnt to hard on herself. Is kind to others likes people but also likes herself

yvonne_uk_98

26-02-16, 11:32

Aww sorry to hear your not doing too great, its just a blip, you will get through this. One step at a time. You can do this, you've done it before and you can do it again, I have faith in you. :hugs:

fluff

26-02-16, 20:54

Thankyou yvonne I think im woman number two at the moment making it to three :)

mezzaninedoor

01-03-16, 14:28

Sorry to hear youre not well, sorry Ive been slow to pick up this thread
These things do and will pass and you will make it through as Yvonne says, youve done it before

I am learning so much about navigating my bIPolar but it is hard and you do need tools in the toolbox and trusted folks around you

I quite like the three person analogy, I can think like that as well with similar IIIsome but Im rarely able to be number 3

fluff

06-03-16, 19:45

Hope your doing ok mezz, im feeling abit better now I just need to try and ground myself

mezzaninedoor

07-03-16, 13:48

Im doing good on balance
Im back at work full time
Though the final 2/3 hours of the day are a real toil

My BiPolar feels relatively stable at the moment, for what thats worth

fluff

07-03-16, 19:40

Felt abit more normal today had a slight bit of morning anxiety, then had a calm head today yay!

mezzaninedoor

08-03-16, 15:02

Thing about what made today better and try to repeat it Fluff.
Thats what I try to do sometimes, its no magic wand but can soemtimes help

fluff

30-03-16, 21:40

Sorry havnt updated much think im coming out of depression again, I wish I had that fuzzy nice head feeling its like your brain working well does anyone else get this? Its a calm happy feeling but you can feel it as a fuzzy or like energy going through your mind.

mezzaninedoor

04-04-16, 11:34

Ive had a bad week, thats rare recently.

Ive had my anxiety and hypomania overwhelm me on a couple of occasions this week, means ive taken a late notice holiday and a sick day :(

I think the fact that we lost 3 friends in a week might have impacted me a bit, not close friends, 2 closer to my wife and quite young, early and late 50's

I have been using a mantra regards 'feeling positive' this week with help from a friend but im just dog tired really at the moment. In work today but thinking about WFH this afternoon before I fall asleep at my desk !!!!

fluff

05-04-16, 21:05

Sorry to hear you lost 3 friends thats awful and bound to get you down.
Im not sure what I am at the moment went away for a couple of days havnt had much sleep drank abit feel bit messed up now.

yvonne_uk_98

06-04-16, 00:01

sorry to hear about your 3 friends, hope you start to feel better soon Mezz,

hope you too start to feel better Fluff.

sending you both some hugs:

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

mezzaninedoor

06-04-16, 09:48

Thanks. I think I'm also feeling bad about having time off work, feels like failing.

fluff

06-04-16, 21:14

Thankyou yvonne.
Oh Mezz your not failing at all you have been through some sad times most people would be off.
Ive felt like im failing lately aswell but its our illness not true. X

mezzaninedoor

07-04-16, 15:54

Yes I guess so.
Sadly doesn't stop me feeling that way :(

I did have some good feedback at work today, even though I was an 1 1/2 hour late in to work

Always hard to know how much 'Mental Health' absence they will put up with. they have been really good but I hadn't taken any time off since I reStarted on phased return last november until this last week and a 1/2 and now I've had 2 days off and been late in 2wice :(

fluff

07-04-16, 20:37

Its ok tomorow is a new day, forget the small amount of absence its ok :)

mezzaninedoor

07-04-16, 21:23

Yes. True. Thx

I've got some holiday soon, which i think I really am needing. I'm also going to see my Son in USA in July which will be great.

yvonne_uk_98

10-04-16, 23:51

Hi Fluff and Mezz,

How are you both doing? thinking of you both.

mezzaninedoor

11-04-16, 09:12

Thx Yvonne
Its a tough week this week, have 2 funerals ( today & thursday ), todays not too bad as its a friend of the family who was 105 but I have to balance work and ferrying my parents in law to the funeral, I hope it will go okay but I can imagine myself getting anxious and frustrated if I get caught up in traffic etc
On Thursday its a friend who died too young of a stroke upon stroke, 57, husband of a friend.
Work went a little blippy a week or so back.
Hoping for better times ahead, again

Take care yourself Yvonne & All

yvonne_uk_98

12-04-16, 00:23

Mezz,

Sorry to hear of the two funerals. Sending you some hugs. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

Hope you have a blessed day to day.

fluff

13-04-16, 21:01

Sorry about the two funerals Mezz. Hope tomorow goes as well as it can.
Thanks yvonne
Ive not been too great but not had nowhere near to deal with like Mezz has x

yvonne_uk_98

14-04-16, 23:41

hope you start to feel better Fluff.

sending you and Mezz some hugs:

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

fluff

15-04-16, 20:20

Had quite a bad two days now, lots has happened im abit worried to post it all on here :-/ ive experianced some nastyness from a relative its set me bavk to my childhood I feel I have lpst my confidence and feel about 7 and like I dont know anything or cant judge things well. X

yvonne_uk_98

17-04-16, 01:48

So sorry to hear that Fluff, its a small blip your going through, you will get through this, if you need to talk you can send me a pm, I here for you.

sending you some hugs:

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

mezzaninedoor

19-04-16, 19:51

Im so sorry fluff that you had some family nastiness, thats always difficult to cope with, its hard to deal with because partly you can choose friends but you cant choose family, I do hope that you find the strength to cope and get through that

you are always free to PM me if you need a chat

I have had a tough few weeks but having got 2 of 3 funerals out of the way and on holiday this week so Im having some 'my time' and catching up on a book or two, which is nice as I normally cant concentrate after a day at work

I feel a little bit on the edge but getting there

thx fluff / Yvonne

yvonne_uk_98

20-04-16, 15:35

Mezz,

hope you have a relaxing week. if you ever need to talk, you can pm. here for you and Fluff.

hope you and fluff have a blessed day today. :hugs:

fluff

21-04-16, 11:51

Thankyou Mezz and yvonne for your kind words.
I am pleased you are having abit of me time Mezz well needed :)
I managed to cope and am feeling alot better thankyou, I am haveing all the ideas again. Just must be mindfull to be realistic about things. X

mezzaninedoor

27-04-16, 10:37

Apologies as I think I might go quite quiet on the Forum for a bit, apologies as I like to dialogue when I can if I can BUT work is proving quite overwhelming at the moment and I'm having to concentrate on keeping well for work and keeping well for when I get home and thus posting on the forums is not going to be a priority whilst I find myself under the cosh, hope that makes sense.

I'm also trying to process the fact that though i have an ongoing condition my NHS Wellbeing team want to discharge me over the next month, I have found it reassuring to be under the Mental Health Services as well as the GP but I will go to be just under the GP again :/

All the best and I will try to float by if I can but I really get the feeling Im going to be distracted whilst trying to navigate an even keel for myself

yvonne_uk_98

28-04-16, 00:40

Mezz,

so sorry to hear your going through a rough time of it. you will get through it. I here for you.

take your time and work through it, when you have the time, let us know how things are going.

hope you have a blessed day today.

HunniBee

12-05-16, 15:08

Is anyone able to help?
I've suffered with depression, anxiety & the rest for years now & ive always thought of my moods as being very sporadic at best as I can be down for weeks on end & then have elated thoughts & act on them like borrowing £3k from family & deciding I want to be a beauty therapist only to find half way through it I get bored & leave. Get a new car just coz I can, beg & plead with my mum to help me get the finance, not just buy one new thing but spend £200-£300 on new clothes trying to invent a new me, get random piercings, new hair cuts & colours, stupid high price gym memberships etc....then I'll go all problem solver & try & fix it & mope.

Right now I'm in a :( mood always always tired, I've got no interest in anything, not sleeping properly, always so angry & snappy. I just don't feel like me.

I get like this after I change jobs which I tend to do often & I think I've gotten bored & I need something new & exciting.

I feel so confused can anyone help??

HB xx

mezzaninedoor

13-05-16, 07:09

It sounds to me like you need a diagnosis through the NHS Wellbeing locally not just your GP. It sounds like you may have more going on than just Depression and Anxiety, which was how it was for me.

Would suggest you ask your GP if you can access NHS Wellbeing services through a letter from your GP or you can try and self refer.

---------- Post added at 07:09 ---------- Previous post was at 07:07 ----------

Yvonne, thanks, things feel a little better at the moment, i had a tough couple of weeks at work, I seem to have got through that

I'm always tired which is still a big issue with being back at work full time as I run out of steam every single day in the afternoon. I now tend to start work at 0730 so I can finish early-ish

Appreciate the support

MyNameIsTerry

13-05-16, 09:13

HunniBee,

Just to add on to what Tony said, impulse control issues are also one of the flags for Personality Disorders. I'm not saying it is that, there is too little detail, but with you worrying over bipolar I thought it worth knowing so you can look into it. However we all do things on impulse at times.

mezzaninedoor

20-05-16, 08:22

YESTERDAY, was day 2 of a 2 day course for me and last night after day 1 I had a really bad night and I then turned up for day 2 of the course.

After the first exercise I didn't feel right and I identified that there was no way I was going to get the benefit of day 2 of the course as I was feeling fatigued and tired. It was a bit embarassing as I sought out the 2nd Trainer and took him to one side and explained, he was quite understanding. I'm hoping work will allow me to complete day 2 at a later time, I have written to them enquiring as its internal training fortunately.

At the moment it feels like a 'failure' but I guess 2 long course days was just too much. I did already acknowledge at the end of day 1 that I felt jaded ( Especially as every day at work still at the moment I feel tired mid Afternoon ) after the 9 to 5 day.

mezzaninedoor

06-06-16, 13:58

feel unstable

I'm sorry that I'm not contributing to the forum much at the moment BUT its taking a lot of my energy to keep on the straight and narrow

Just had a week off work and now have some creeping anxiety ( after Sunday Night Syndrome took over before work last night ), Just dont feel robust and in control at work , anxious, its all sooo silly as things were okay'ish before week off

yvonne_uk_98

07-06-16, 23:10

Mezz,

Sorry you are feeling unstable, you take your time, when you are ready to come back. you will have more energy to come back. take your time, take it easy, try not to over do things. everything will go back to the way it was. try not to expect too much of yourself. you will get there, sounds like your going through a small blip. you will get there. take one day at a time.

sending you some hugs:

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

mezzaninedoor

13-06-16, 09:49

Met with my prescribing CPN and Case Worker ( who I didnt realise was a Mental Health Assistant not a CPN ) last Wednesday, this was meant to be to discharge me for the moment from NHS Wellbeing.

However my anxiety was such that they decided not to discharge at this time. They have advised some medication timing changes to help with my sleep / lethargy and also some ideas for the anxiety, however its still encompassing me at the moment.

I'm still full time and have only taken 2.5 days off since February due to my health.

I don't feel robust and resilient and so able to engage so well with others at moment