Jimpy
12-06-15, 05:22
Hi guys, it has been sometime, a few years in fact, since I posted anything on the forum. I still drop by from time to time and have always found the site a wonderful source of comfort. I got my anxiety in particular my health anxiety in control and have managed it well enough and had some great years with a perspective on things that was helpful and not obsessive/controlling which has been wonderful considering the state I was in! So I am really thankful for that.
I am worried again and my mind is /has become obsessive over some blood tests I had recently :( the doctor has said my liver enzymes are slightly high and he ordered some more bloods to be done and also (which for me is the scary part) heppatits blood tests. I am going out of my mind with worry about this and the reason is if I had it I am terrified I would have passed it to my wife and child. Even writing this now my hands are shaking, I don't get the results until Thursday and I know thus is going to be a seriously intense week.
As a bit of background on things, I decided to start going to counselling in September and I still go now it was prompted by a desire to make sense of the person I am and, aside from this genuine fear of liver problems, I think it has stirred up some long dorment feelings which I hope I am making sense of and will pass.
Yesterday evening I broke down sobbing in a way I really never have before, a mixture of fear about the results and a recognition of the feelings of anxiety I had when it was bad a few years back. I am scared and lost and don't know what to do, it is the fear I may have something and have passed it on that is keeping me awake, I am irrational I know at times but this is like a storm that has blown in. I have to keep going to work when all I want to do is run, and keep running away from all of this but I know I cannot. Its going to be a bad week. Really sorry for the negative post I just hope and pray all is ok and it is nothing but I'm convinced the news will be bad and I won't know how to cope. I don't care if its bad news for me but if it affects others then I don't know what to do,:(
Thanks for listening and reading and again, sorry for the negative post, I've been fine for years and now this has brought it back again. I going out of my mind and don't know what to do ,
Jimpy
I am worried again and my mind is /has become obsessive over some blood tests I had recently :( the doctor has said my liver enzymes are slightly high and he ordered some more bloods to be done and also (which for me is the scary part) heppatits blood tests. I am going out of my mind with worry about this and the reason is if I had it I am terrified I would have passed it to my wife and child. Even writing this now my hands are shaking, I don't get the results until Thursday and I know thus is going to be a seriously intense week.
As a bit of background on things, I decided to start going to counselling in September and I still go now it was prompted by a desire to make sense of the person I am and, aside from this genuine fear of liver problems, I think it has stirred up some long dorment feelings which I hope I am making sense of and will pass.
Yesterday evening I broke down sobbing in a way I really never have before, a mixture of fear about the results and a recognition of the feelings of anxiety I had when it was bad a few years back. I am scared and lost and don't know what to do, it is the fear I may have something and have passed it on that is keeping me awake, I am irrational I know at times but this is like a storm that has blown in. I have to keep going to work when all I want to do is run, and keep running away from all of this but I know I cannot. Its going to be a bad week. Really sorry for the negative post I just hope and pray all is ok and it is nothing but I'm convinced the news will be bad and I won't know how to cope. I don't care if its bad news for me but if it affects others then I don't know what to do,:(
Thanks for listening and reading and again, sorry for the negative post, I've been fine for years and now this has brought it back again. I going out of my mind and don't know what to do ,
Jimpy