dulede
13-06-15, 10:28
Hi Everyone,
Please excuse me for the following being long but I have been writing things now for the best part of 10 hours including through the night.
I have been on DLA (middle care lower mobility) for probably 7 years and ESA support group since it started (incapacity benefit before that). My wife is my carer as I suffer with pathological jealousy(PJ) which has proved to be destructive and dangerous in the past.
My wife due to feeling her life to be in danger from myself has stabbed me when I have attacked her due to my PJ. I have at the early stages of my illnesses had to attend hospital 5 times over a couple of months for this reason and on one occasion she had to attend for her own injury.
Since then, knowing that one of us would end up dead, we have adjusted our lives so that we are always together. I mean we are constantly together as being apart would put too many possibilities into my mind and I would be highly likely - basically guaranteed - to be aggressive and violent as my mind can't rest with doubts. It has taken a lot for my wife to accept the situation we are in and adapt her life to fit the illness I have but she knows that I am too antagonistic and dangerous otherwise.
I can't go for a walk or do anything else apart from her as my doubts or paranoia if you will, would consume me and I wouldn't have any control of myself. I don't like social engagement with others as I am always suspicious of all men, regardless of age or looks, and other things in life are of little importance because of the focus I have on my wife and what she is doing. I used to go to the toilet with her in our own house but things over the years have improved slightly but not much. I am still tied to her and she to me by my illness. I know I am a risk in such circumstances as mentioned above so my wife has to be with me. She is therefore like a set of crutches or a guide dog I cannot function without her.
PIP has just been returned to me as declined and with 0 points. As said I have always been in ESA Support group as the regulations for that apply as below:
Regulation 29 and 35 of ESA which basically covers my condition in so far as:
"(a)the claimant suffers from some specific disease or bodily or mental disablement; and"
"(b) by reasons of such disease or disablement, there would be a substantial risk to the mental
or physical health of any person if the claimant were found not to have limited capability for
work-related activity."
As such I cannot do things as you would normally unless my wife is with me. In other words my wife has as much a bearing on my life as anything else. I can't focus on anything if my wife has managed to leave the house without me. I simply have to locate her and bring her home. It sounds bad and it is but normally we have an understanding and she accommodates my need for her to be with me at all times. But I don't go anywhere without her. I am physically capable of a lot of things but if you can't do them because of the mental trauma it causes then you can't do them. I can't decide to pop up town or to the park and I can't let her do the same. Everything has to be done together.
When our troubles first occurred the wife went through women's refuge and stayed with her uncle. While I couldn't get to her I didn't eat or drink and didn't go home. My mother had to go around our house to collect our ten year old son to look after him. I basically didn't go home for a week as I was monitoring where she was and waiting to see her come out. I ended up completely dehydrated and a right state. She actually felt sorry for me due to the condition I was in when she came back to me. I know I'd be the same again so she is essential to me like air is. I can't and don't want to survive without her but know that if I am not with her my PJ takes over and I am extremely dangerous. How can they the DWP decision maker completely overlook my need for her to be with me to function at all.
I know many of you reading will not like me due to the writing above but I am not looking for condemnation as I already feel that for myself. I need to understand how the PIP health professional and decision maker have come to this conclusion. My wife knows if I'm welling up with anger or a mood swing is coming and she can control me when I can't. What can I do regarding this. All help is welcome. Apologies for someone like me being on here.
Thank you.
Please excuse me for the following being long but I have been writing things now for the best part of 10 hours including through the night.
I have been on DLA (middle care lower mobility) for probably 7 years and ESA support group since it started (incapacity benefit before that). My wife is my carer as I suffer with pathological jealousy(PJ) which has proved to be destructive and dangerous in the past.
My wife due to feeling her life to be in danger from myself has stabbed me when I have attacked her due to my PJ. I have at the early stages of my illnesses had to attend hospital 5 times over a couple of months for this reason and on one occasion she had to attend for her own injury.
Since then, knowing that one of us would end up dead, we have adjusted our lives so that we are always together. I mean we are constantly together as being apart would put too many possibilities into my mind and I would be highly likely - basically guaranteed - to be aggressive and violent as my mind can't rest with doubts. It has taken a lot for my wife to accept the situation we are in and adapt her life to fit the illness I have but she knows that I am too antagonistic and dangerous otherwise.
I can't go for a walk or do anything else apart from her as my doubts or paranoia if you will, would consume me and I wouldn't have any control of myself. I don't like social engagement with others as I am always suspicious of all men, regardless of age or looks, and other things in life are of little importance because of the focus I have on my wife and what she is doing. I used to go to the toilet with her in our own house but things over the years have improved slightly but not much. I am still tied to her and she to me by my illness. I know I am a risk in such circumstances as mentioned above so my wife has to be with me. She is therefore like a set of crutches or a guide dog I cannot function without her.
PIP has just been returned to me as declined and with 0 points. As said I have always been in ESA Support group as the regulations for that apply as below:
Regulation 29 and 35 of ESA which basically covers my condition in so far as:
"(a)the claimant suffers from some specific disease or bodily or mental disablement; and"
"(b) by reasons of such disease or disablement, there would be a substantial risk to the mental
or physical health of any person if the claimant were found not to have limited capability for
work-related activity."
As such I cannot do things as you would normally unless my wife is with me. In other words my wife has as much a bearing on my life as anything else. I can't focus on anything if my wife has managed to leave the house without me. I simply have to locate her and bring her home. It sounds bad and it is but normally we have an understanding and she accommodates my need for her to be with me at all times. But I don't go anywhere without her. I am physically capable of a lot of things but if you can't do them because of the mental trauma it causes then you can't do them. I can't decide to pop up town or to the park and I can't let her do the same. Everything has to be done together.
When our troubles first occurred the wife went through women's refuge and stayed with her uncle. While I couldn't get to her I didn't eat or drink and didn't go home. My mother had to go around our house to collect our ten year old son to look after him. I basically didn't go home for a week as I was monitoring where she was and waiting to see her come out. I ended up completely dehydrated and a right state. She actually felt sorry for me due to the condition I was in when she came back to me. I know I'd be the same again so she is essential to me like air is. I can't and don't want to survive without her but know that if I am not with her my PJ takes over and I am extremely dangerous. How can they the DWP decision maker completely overlook my need for her to be with me to function at all.
I know many of you reading will not like me due to the writing above but I am not looking for condemnation as I already feel that for myself. I need to understand how the PIP health professional and decision maker have come to this conclusion. My wife knows if I'm welling up with anger or a mood swing is coming and she can control me when I can't. What can I do regarding this. All help is welcome. Apologies for someone like me being on here.
Thank you.