Dealing with Social Anxiety at Work

[Acceptance]

Hi all, just joined today, I've always felt a high level of discomfort in social situations, fine with family and close friends; preferring one to one interactions.

I made the decision this year to leave a job after 13 years, because I felt I needed a fresh start. Also, I am a sensitive person and my then boss is not the most tactful and so I found myself feeling not good enough most of the time, although it wasn't all bad.

Since starting my new job, the shyness I feel has hit me twofold and they are all going on a company outing, which is being held during the working day. :scared15: All I keep thinking is what if they ignore me, my superiors will think I'm not fitting in, which is one of the things they said when hiring me "they can see me fitting in well" :doh:

I've been there about 6 weeks now and the people I work directly with seem decent, but I am over thinking things and sometimes feel there is a current of resentment towards me. It is a new position so I'm not replacing anyone, but taking tasks and assisting and am trying not to tread on anyone's toes and hope I'm showing respect towards them. I know it takes a while for people to get use to new starters, but I feel myself clamming up and this makes it harder for me to open up to them and isn't helping my confidence. To top it all off this week I was left out on an email, which wasn't pointed out to me maliciously, it was more out of wonder. Now I'm thinking perhaps it wasn't sent to me because they're not planning on keeping me there much longer and I won't be there when the event happens.

Looking back at what I've read I sound so paranoid, I am generally a happy person and can appreciate the small things in life. :blush:

It would be good to hear from others who can relate. Thanks for reading this far:flowers:

[Oosh]

I can entirely relate.

I'd find the longer I sat on the sidelines watching quietly the harder it was to join in and speak. So talk early and stay involved. Have confidence, you're good at this in reality. You're just not good anticipating it all.

Nobody is going to ignore you. That's just a fear, a suggestion. You have skills and tactics to ensure some success and that's what you'll use and you'll ultimately have a degree of success.

People like people who like them so spend your time looking for what's likeable about the other individuals and let them then see you like them and enjoy their company. Maybe start with the more friendly and approachable. Build up a bit of social proof and then build from there.

Even if there was some obstacle in that organisation to overcome, you'd ultimately overcome it by using these kind of social skills you know and being confident and persisting.

It'll be easier doing instead of anticipating so stay involved and find people you like quick so you feel more at home with them.

It'll get easier.

Shush those fears, suggestions. They're nonsense. You'll decide what the outcome is not them.

[Acceptance]

Hi Oosh

Thank you for your reply, It's true the longer you're not talking the harder it is but when I do find the courage to say something it gives me a lift. The trouble with me: I start thinking, I managed that well, but then start to worry about what happens next.:unsure: and what people are thinking about what I said. I guess that's classic SAD.

I see the only way forward is to keep talking and stay confident, like you say. I think I need to accept its going to be tough for me for a while and I've got to use courage to face it and with a bit of luck might have some enjoyable interactions.

Thank you, your words are encouraging and will be in my thoughts :yesyes:

It's sounds like you have come a long way with some SAD anxieties.