View Full Version : constantly checking my mind and body all day
Sick of this.all day all night,the moment i wake up ,my mind scans my thoughts for negative thoughts,im constantly thinking how i feel all day.cant switch it off.its driving me insane.i try to be positive and focus on possitive things,but it never lasts.and before i know it,im back thinking negative.its tiring and i feel drained..any tips
Hi Greg- I'm sorry you are struggling. I too have this horrible habit of obsessing about my thoughts and body symptoms. I think something has been activated in our brains to have this hyper awareness of everything crossing our minds. I then obsess about physical symptoms. The only thing I can do to relieve it is to get into some sort of action that puts me into a zen. For me some activities are gardening and cooking. For my husband it is playing his drums. Do you have any sort of hobby you enjoy that takes the focus off of you for some time? My issue is I cannot let me body fully relax (something about when I do start to relax I freak with the spacey feeling) I'm extremely restless mentally and physically so I have to engage in something that literally disassociates me. Activities that get me very focused. Good luck and this sounds silly but even try coloring. It has a calming way for overactive minds. Hope you feel better and you are certainly not alone:hugs
Yes, you are certainly not alone on this one.
My therapist says exactly what Mya (above post) says. This is because we focus inwards permanently and have to get used to focusing outwards. And the way to do this is by getting distracted. Anything you like doing?
Yes i agree with this..the prob is,iv spent the last two years solid thinking in this way and cant stop..i put the tv on in bed first thing when i wake up.then get up have breakfast and wash etc then atart my day.i do go out walking etc to try and distract myself and meet people.but cant distract myself all day and night no matter what i do...last night i was woken in pain in my lower back and buttox at 3am.i had bad constapation and took me till 5am in the end to get relief,in and out of bed solid for two hrs,i felt really unwell and this started negitive thinking,which at early hrs on your own,is a very lonely place..so today im tired and my thoughts are very negitive....cant wait for bedtime and hope i sleep for hrs
I totally understand every word you are saying.
But whe you say you have been like this for years and you can't stop, yes you can!! We all can!! We just need help in finding the way.
From what I know we need to retrain our minds. Have you done any form of therapy at all? Anything that was helpul?
Crystalhiggs
17-06-15, 18:48
Ah greg I know this feeling only too well. Even when I try to distract myself I often realise I've started thinking inwardly again. I love being out and doing things that take my mind off it! Even the school run, meeting the other mums is something I look forward to each day.
I get sick of being at home but feel so grotty at the moment either with lack of sleep or side effects of trazodone that I daren't venture too far anyway. We've been to a few really fun events lately which have totally taken my mind off things and then that feeling afterwards, coming home and remembering my situation is so disheartening. And so it starts again.. The inward thoughts.
This will get better greg it has to! For all of us!!!
Definitely Cristalhiggs!! The only was is up :D
I was doing really well but now I am ill and have practically been bedridden for 3 months so my thoughts are driving me crazy!
I keep doing pranayama breathing and saying to myself that everything will be ok...see if I can trick my brain into believing it :doh:
Thanks guys for all the advice.im still waiting for help from my mental health team.there pritty useless as it goes,so im not holding out for them.im out this sat to my parents for the night,so this will give me some distraction for the night..i think living on my own dsnt help things.but its a fact i do live on my own,so ill have to get used to it and try to change my thinking
Crystalhiggs
18-06-15, 10:13
How are you this morning Greg? Hope you had a better sleep! :)
Hi crystal..yes i slept well thanks..had 9.5 hrs solid sleep..how about you? Hows your sleeping going
Crystalhiggs
18-06-15, 10:46
Great that must make you feel better. Slept well the last 2 nights thank goodness! Coming off Traz not easy though, dropping 5 a week is too fast so having to take it a bit slower. Sticking at 35 for another week... Hey ho, gotta be done! Have a good day!
Good for you.yep coming off as slowly as poss is a good idea.god knows how long it will take me to come off my 200mg traz when the day comes..lol....
Crystalhiggs
18-06-15, 11:10
I think it's easier at higher doses to drop by 50 at a time it's when you get to the lower doses it's more problematic I think. And I'm very sensitive to medication so I'm Prob having it a lot worse than most.
They don't tell you this when they hand them over though do they? I never even thought about withdrawal when I started it!
Oh i see.oh well thats good then..iv goto come off my olanzipine first.that will take some time..must say,would be be nice to be drug free one day
Hey Greg, I know how ya feel, and I have a full time job. I'm perpetually trapped in my head for the last 6 months. Its so bad that I could have 2 supermodels walk into my house and I'd not give them any attention. Its frustrating when you're at work and you NEED to concentrate on what you're doing and all you do is focus inward.
I had a brief moment of clarity last week when I was called out on an emergency and had to work with another guy - we were busy for about 3 hours and those 3 hours I was out of my head, involved in someone else. So I KNOW that's the cure, except I can't do that all the time. When I first started this new job 6 years ago, the new-ness of everything took me out of my head and I was great for about 6 years until the last 6 months. Its frustrating, because I'm in therapy 2x a week, take an anti anxiety med and have a great and happy home life (wife and two kids).
I know eventually it'll pass, but its just frustrating waiting for it to go away. My wife is so involved in the community, friendships, family, that she has no time for herself. I wish someday to be like that.
Jake i know what you meen mate about not noticing things because you are focused inwards on your own thoughts,i get this alot,its good you are working tho mate,keeps you busy.its a lot harder when your at home all day..and you have a nice family behind you to...hopefuly one day it will loft and leave us,i do worry that because we have been like this for so long,we will stay like this forever more..i hope not.
Jake i know what you meen mate about not noticing things because you are focused inwards on your own thoughts,i get this alot,its good you are working tho mate,keeps you busy.its a lot harder when your at home all day..and you have a nice family behind you to...hopefuly one day it will loft and leave us,i do worry that because we have been like this for so long,we will stay like this forever more..i hope not.
I sometimes have those horror thoughts of this lasting the rest of my life - but the reality is its only been 6 months and I'm 52, so I likely have more years behind me than ahead of me.
Plus the fact - you're right, I'm still working and trying to keep busy. This is my 10th day in a row at work and I'm really looking forward to this weekend off. And I do believe this is temporary, just how temporary I don't know. I mean, if you told me this would stop in another 6 months, I'd be completely fine and accept these feelings for the next 6 months. You just never know. I've had this before and the worst it lasted was 2 weeks of constant introspection, then it would eventually go away.
I think this weekend I may plan to try to get more involved in outside activities with others - see if that works. Sometimes its hard to do, though, feeling the way you do. You just wanna sit on the couch all day and watch TV.
Yes thats true.if you have had this before and it lifted,there is no reason why it wont lift again.thats good yiu have yiur weekend planed,im also out sat night to my parents,they are having a bit of a party there so will be around other people and distracted for the night.i will have a couple of drinks,but nothing to heavy,iv done that to many times,drinking hard,then regreted it the next few days..just a couple for me
Greg
ANT, automatic negative thoughts is a real hard one to get over. I have tried via CBT but the more I practised the more the urge increased to concentrate even more on everything negative but I think it is partially linked with OCD (well in my case it is.)
I live in a big borough in London and my CBT therapist said that her success rate on a one to one basis was 60%.
I really don't know what to suggest.We all know how long a day is when we are feeling dreadful and can't even concentrate on simple things that used to be enjoyable.
It is a really tough situation, ricardo. I don't think CBT in this country can touch such an entrenched mind- set but I know plenty of people would disagree with me as CBT is seen as the gold standard for just about everything anxiety/depression related. My autistic daughter even had to try it but it proved disastrous (she also has OCD)
I see a CBT therapist here in the States. I tell ya, I scored great for her, I see her about once (sometimes 2x) a week and she gave me her # to call anytime. Matter of fact, called her today about something that was bothering me and she went thru the list of cognitive distortions that I was supposed to study (but have been slacking off), once she started talking about it, my mood lifted.
CBT is only as good as the patient. Meaning, its work, and you gotta do this stuff every day and practice it every day - its homework.
Plus I'm lucky in that my therapist is a part of a website that you can enter your daily moods, it charts them, and she can look them over and go over some of the distortions in our next session.
Your very lucky there.over hear in england where i live,im strugling to get any help through the mental health service..i just cant get them to offer me anything no matter what i have said to them.its good you have that suport and can ring her for on the spot suport and on the website..sounds like its all working out for you.im sure you will be on the road to recovery very soon
Your very lucky there.over hear in england where i live,im strugling to get any help through the mental health service..i just cant get them to offer me anything no matter what i have said to them.its good you have that suport and can ring her for on the spot suport and on the website..sounds like its all working out for you.im sure you will be on the road to recovery very soon
Underfunding of the NHS and they are stretched,demand excedes supply.
We have a new serice in my borough CDAS, (Complex Depression and Anxiety Service) but to just get an hour's telephone assessment you have to speak to two other departments at first, and if you qualify you are put on the waiting list.
Ric..pritty much like that hear to...you get assesed then they decide if you need there help.then they refer you to another department,where you go through it all again.then they decide if they can offer any support.this takes weeks,only to be told you will not receve any support..wast of bloody time
Ah but then you are "in the system" (waiting!) so technically the NHS is attending to your needs....
Yes im in the system,but after a few meetings and assesments,iv been told treetment is not avalable for me while im not working.they said they dont think id respond to tretment untill im working,havnt a clue what the hell they meen by that.i cant get a job intill i recieve treetment as far as im concerned..so they have discharged me..wast of time
Yes im in the system,but after a few meetings and assesments,iv been told treetment is not avalable for me while im not working.they said they dont think id respond to tretment untill im working,havnt a clue what the hell they meen by that.i cant get a job intill i recieve treetment as far as im concerned..so they have discharged me..wast of time
Greg,
In the time I've been on the site, I've read through your life as you post it. No doubt, it's been challenging to say the least. I've observed as things unfolded and how you've reacted to them. I'm not a psychologist nor do I claim to be, but I see patterns in your behaviors and reactions that I'm quite sure a mental health professional would see.
IMO, you're stuck in a victim mentality. You want help. They say you need to have a job for it to be effective and your counter is you need treatment to get a job. I believe they're right. You need to take responsibility for yourself in order for therapy to be effective. How could therapy be effective if you're not making an effort to help yourself? It appears they're looking for you to make the first step and I see they're reasoning. Otherwise, you're just using the system to keep you in the same pattern.
You've been here for years. You'll remain here for years, logged on for hours and hours a day unless you take action to change it. No one can do that except you. I hope you find the inner fortitude to take the steps necessary to change the pattern you're stuck in.
I see in your posts a caring, compassionate man, capable of much. IMO, you're allowing your anxiety and mental illness to control you and thus robbing you of what could be a very fulfilling life.
I wish you the best and hope you find the inner fortitude to walk the healing path.
Positive thoughts
I would have to agree with FMP. just not as strongly. I know how impossible anxiety can make doing things. Problem is with a job is that it is all or nothing exposure. Can you get part time volunteer work. Something with less exposure to start so you can work up.
MyNameIsTerry
19-06-15, 08:35
IMO, you're stuck in a victim mentality. You want help. They say you need to have a job for it to be effective and your counter is you need treatment to get a job. I believe they're right. You need to take responsibility for yourself in order for therapy to be effective. How could therapy be effective if you're not making an effort to help yourself? It appears they're looking for you to make the first step and I see they're reasoning. Otherwise, you're just using the system to keep you in the same pattern.
Then the therapy is flawed. Getting a job is a rather major one for a lot of anxiety & depression disorder sufferers and what it all the steps up to getting a job are anxiety triggers? The result is either nothing moves forward or the patient gets there on their own and most likely doesn't need therapy to move forward.
The therapy provided could easily make this the main goal and establish a list of steps to get somebody there. If progress isn't occurring, they can make the choice to take to take a break or stop, change strategy, etc.
Do they believe the patient will go away and get a job? How will they know when they have discharged them? They aren't monitoring the situation so for all they know the patient could not takes the required steps or end up worse. Surely if this was in the patients interests, someone would be monitoring? In this case, its a GP but the same GP that referred Greg to this service for something to be done which has turned out to be advice that the GP could wasily have given.
Level 4 services seem to be tricky. I know someone else on here who was referred by their GP to be assessed and turned down because the service only treated certain more serious psychiatric conditions which this person doesn't have. The result of that was nothing other than a waste of tax payers money.
If all the exercise was for was a medication review and to give advice that anybody could give, since we all know that a job will help in so many areas, then a GP coould easily have handled that and saved tax payers money.
So, does it stack up? Not really.
We know these services are really pushed. We also know that IAPT have stepped in front of them to handle these cases. Politics maybe? :whistles:
I'm sure they knew that it wouldn't be as simple as 'get a job'. Our benefits system alone is an issue for many anxiety sufferers as the minute you decide to look for a job they state they need to be informed. The result of this is that they move you to a different benefit list where you are expected to look for work pretty much daily and provide evidece of doing so or you risk having your benefits sanctioned. So, it does introduce a load of pressure for some and maybe doing it under the auspices of a mental health team might make the transition easier?
Consider a couple of examples in our wonderful NHS system:
1) You are an alcoholic in need of a liver transplant. They tell you to give up the booze, show you have done so for a certain period of time and have tests to prove it. Do they just boot you out of the door and await your return? No, they give you support to get off the booze.
2) You are obese and need a gastric band fitted but you are too overweight to risk surgery. They tell you to lose weight and get under a certain target before they will provide surgery. Do they just boot you out of the door and await your return? No, they give you support & education to lose the weight.
The NHS is always saying it is working towards transparency between physical & mental health services. They haven't done it here though because Greg has been given an ultimatum and they are not monitoring or provide any support to get him there.
Cop out?
---------- Post added at 08:35 ---------- Previous post was at 08:35 ----------
Problem is with a job is that it is all or nothing exposure.
Very true.
Thanks FMP..i can see what you are saying and im sure you are right.i just wish that they gave me one to one counciling.i feel that would have really helped me.and not even cognitive theropy..nothing.no medication ,just told me to come off one of my meds.just feel after such a long wait to see them and all the assesments,i got pushed out onto the streets with no suport..when i lived at my last address,the mental health there was much better and i recieved help..it seems to be this area i know live in that has let me down.....terry thanks for all that info mate.i can see what you are saying and you are right mate on how it all works..i could have gone to the doctor to be told to come off one of my meds,instead i went through weeks of waiting and several assesments just to be told to come off one of my meds.what a wast of time and money..i feel let down big time...
MyNameIsTerry
19-06-15, 11:14
Sadly we have to live with descrimination when it comes to the NHS. We have an Act of Parliament that states they can't act in this way but with it being "the establishment" its going to take some changing.
You've only got to look at the Pregabalin situation on NMP to see active descrimination within the NHS. Buckinghamsure CCQ's have had their local formulary blacklist it yet their own information page says that doctors should consider the national forumulary as the real guide and that says it is not blacklisted but can be prescribed! There is evidence of over 200+ CCQ's across England prescribing it but anyone in that county ends up on here asking why their GP is saying its blacklisted.
So, the NHS looks a nice rosey system abroad but try living in it, its far from "national" as local trusts still determine what to spend money on. Over the past few years there have been media cases of trusts not willing to pay for things that other trusts will so its not even limited to mental health issues in some cases. I know for a fact that Buckinghamsure local formulary have blacklisted Pregabalin for not only anxiety but for its original use to, epilepsy! :shrug::doh:
The job doesn't have to be a 40 hour a week 9-5. You have to start somewhere, do something, otherwise you continue to wallow in self pity. Maybe something part time or as Davit said, volunteer work... anything to give yourself a boost and purpose is certainly preferable to sitting in your flat all day logged on to the computer and stuck in your thoughts.
Anyway... ~sigh~
Positive thoughts
Yep your right fishman,thats the goal..i love my flat but hate spending hrs on end sitting in all day.im working on it.thanks mate
chin up Greg,never loose hope I know its hard but you can over come this
the good news is ,you now have your own place and you can see your daughter more
Even voluntary work can be hard to come by in the UK but I do think FMP is right as it is so easy to feel a "victim" when you're feeling so down and have so much time on your hands. I don't suppose there's anything motorbike related you could do, Greg?
I haven't read all your thread Greg but if I remember correctly you now live alone and maybe that doesn't help motivate you.
Could you not do some sort of work from home (4 million people do in the UK).There has to be something that isn't to taxing.
Can you go out on your own ? If you can then that is a big boost.
I am not making comparisons but I have my own business which I started over 40 years ago with £40.00. When my illness got so bad I adapted my business to suit my practically housebound state, and I have always been a sole trader. It's not always easy and it's not always about money but giving you a buzz and that in itself boosts your confidence and that can in turn decrease stress and anxiety.
Two steps forward,one step back.
Chears andy for your suport.apreciate it mate.how are things with you lattley mate ?
Pulsa.i used to have a few motorbikes over the years and got so much joy out of them.unfortunatly i cant aford one nowadays.i dont know of any clubs or anything that i can get involved in..i like watching it when its on the tv tho
---------- Post added at 14:08 ---------- Previous post was at 14:04 ----------
Ricardo.thats amazing that you have your own busness.well done.i bet that feels really nice inside.good for you.id love to do some form of work from home to earn a few quid,not anything around like there used to be.you used to see adverts in shop windows to work from home..dont see them anymore for some reason..i look in the local papers but nothing.they have just vanished..ill keep looking..as andy says,at least i have my own place and can see my daughter..i love seeing her little face
im plodding along Greg,not 100% but not far off either :)
Good to hear andy..ploding along is good..you get there in the end..
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