This is me

[Kate1970]

Just a post to start me off .. Been reading on this sight for a few years it now feel I would benefit from your support :D
I coming 45 and I've had anxiety, mainly about my health, since I was 17 so that's a whole lot of anxiety!!
Things have been good and bad along the years I've gone months even years anxiety free but it's always lingered there waiting to rear its ugly head.
The last few years have been hellish I'm guessing modern stress and a change in hormones have amplified things..
So in my sweet little mind I've had everything and anything wrong with me I used to go to the docs all the time but now I'm the opposite I'm to damn scared to go to the doctors grrrrr.
I must add that I lost my mum at 17 to breast cancer which I'm sure is the root of my anxiety she was an isolated family case of BC or any cancer to be fair :yesyes::yesyes: so the last year has got progressively worse I'm all over the place I'm sure I'm starting the pre menopause as my cycle is getting shorter and from what I've read I have a good hand full or two of the other 'lovely' symptoms.
So this last week I'm stuck in the dreaded Breast cancer it's bloody everywhere in my life my husbands Aunty had a mastectomy a month ago his cousin just got diagnosed 2 weeks ago a new lady at work is a 3 year survivor and a friend of mine is a year surviviour.. Everywhere I look it's there newspapers TV programs to top it off I've had breast pain on the left side for the last week I do suffer from breast pain again hormones! But my left seems loads worse it's not a there all the time and it doesn't wake me but the minuite I think about it which is proberbly 23hrs and 55 minuite a of the day it's there burning away at both my breast and my brain! I've checked checked and checked again and I feel no abnormalities I've tried ringing the breast clinic today but they didn't pick up .. To make matters worse I missed my yearly mammogram last September as I was to damn scared to go ( I get yearly because of my mum) all my previous mamos have been clear thank the Lord.
So that's my this is me post
I'm very pleased to meet you all and look forward to posting and supporting xx

[sial72]

Hi Kate
And welcome!! sorry you are having such a bad time.
I am sure you will be fine and that any pains you have are from your fear and focusing on it.
I totally understand you as my dad died of a heart attack when I was 10 and I have always been terrified of that.
But over time I have come to think that it is such a shame all the time I have lost being scared and not enjoying things as much as I should have done. I now have a health problem that has nothing to do with what I feared and it has made me think I wish I had enjoyed things much more instead of worrying so much about things that might happen.
Our hormones at this age don't help, as if wrinkles weren't enough!!! :D

[lyndau63]

Hi Kate,

I totally understand how you feel. I have had HA since I was about 30 and am now 63 so, as you say, a lot of life wasted in worrying unnecessarily. It is also true that it is everywhere around us. My cousin, who was like a sister to me, died of cancer last year and my father has had cancer twice.....not to mention all the cases you hear of every day from friends and extended family. I have breast pain too and I think it is common and probably a good sign, especially as you can feel no lumps. Go and have your mammogram; it is so good that they are keeping a close check on you and would catch it early if you ever did have it, which you probably won't!! :hugs: