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ricardo
19-06-15, 11:12
Over the thirty odd years of GAD, OCD and agrophobia I have seen many therapists and as is the norm they initially ask you about your background and try and find what triggered ones anxiety off.

I am being completely honest in that I really don't know for certain.

I was born a few years after the war and when I was 37 found various papers that showed that my birth mother was 17 when I was born and my father was a local married man.

My mother left her home town when her pregnancy became noticeable and went to live in London (otherwise her father would have disowned her).She gave birth to me and literally within a few hours just abandoned me and I was fostered out and then at 6 weeks old adopted by two people who will always be my parents.

My adopted mother had already lost two children both born stillborn during the war years and in fact couldn't have any more children.

Rightly or wrongly I didn't find out I was adopted until I was about 15 and I must point out that I never intended to go and look for my birth mother but something very personal came up in my life and unfortunately though both my adopted parents had died within three years of each other a number of years earlier , I managed to trace my natural mother quite easily and met her.

She never had any other children, was married, but was an alcoholic and on various medication .She could see that my wife and I were shall we say quite comfortable and asked me if I could give her some money. That just left me cold. She didn't tell me who my real father was, but through a bit of investigation I found out who he was as there was a huge connection with him and the rest of my natural mother's family to being bookmakers. Out of curiousity I met him at a racetrack, but got no reaction.

All this told me how lucky I was to be loved by my adopted parents though perhaps being an only child, a little too protected.

I watch long Lost family with nNcky Campbell who was also adopted and Devina McCall and am genuimnely pleased for those who find missing relatives.

Many pyschiatrists think my anxiety started at birth because of the circumstances and manifested itself in my early thirties because up till then I had never had any anxiety symptoms whatsoever, but I think that losing my parents in a comparitively short time and then given years not weeks of librium and mogadon instead of letting me grieve was the start of all my anxiety issues.That was in the early eighties and of course years later it was found out that all these group of drugs taken long or even short term were harmful.I hope they don't say the same about SSRI's in ten years or so.

Are there any other adopted people on NMP who may have anxity issues or do you think I am clutching at straws.

Oosh
19-06-15, 11:46
That's a hell of a story.

I think anything can affect you positively or negatively depending on the meaning attached to it.

I think people brought up without hardship can end up softer and weaker and less capable emotionally than people brought up WITH hardship.
Hardship can create character and drive.

Neglectful parents or over-protective, spoiling parents, both could produce negative results so I don't think anything produces anything all of the time.

It could be just down to how you feel about any aspect of any of it. Or, like you say, it could be something else entirely.

Davit
19-06-15, 23:03
Ricardo.

If you have not already read it you might want to read Attachment Theory. It is on the net and interesting. Because you were adopted early there is nothing of your real parents in you. DNA only affects the physical. You are in affect what your adopted parents made you. I assume it was good if you can not find a reason for your anxiety etc. But being told at 15 could have started some negative core beliefs that could be the root. Being adopted still has some stigma like anxiety does. It shouldn't.

Oosh
An interesting thing is that people who live into their 90's were born during hardship. Could hard work and exposure to hardship and disease conditioned then to live longer. If so, do any of us have a chance.

23tana
20-06-15, 01:37
I was adopted and found my birth family a few years ago. My half-siblings are all girls except for one brother. He is the only one who does not suffer some form of mental problem.

ricardo
20-06-15, 10:40
"John Bowlby (http://www.simplypsychology.org/bowlby.html), working alongside James Robertson (1952) observed that children experienced intense distress when separated from their mothers. Even when such children were fed by other caregivers this did not diminish the child’s anxiety. These findings contradicted the dominant behavioral theory (http://www.simplypsychology.org/behaviorism.html) of attachment (Dollard and Miller, 1950) which was shown to underestimate the child’s bond with their mother. The behavioral theory of attachment stated that the child becomes attached to the mother because she fed the infant." from the Attachment Theory, so in conclusion these are just theories.

I personally believe a period of my life when I lost my parents, went through a brief messy marriage and then the prolonged use of the pills described above was the onset, but I maybe wrong.

I only brought this thread up as every therapist,psychiatrist and counsellor try and form an opinion on what I have told them, as to how to help me.

As I mentioned on another thread one said my subconscious won't allow me to get better or respond to any form of treatment be it medication or otherwise.

---------- Post added at 10:40 ---------- Previous post was at 10:27 ----------


I was adopted and found my birth family a few years ago. My half-siblings are all girls except for one brother. He is the only one who does not suffer some form of mental problem.


Would you give us/me a little moe info, as I am extremely interested in the subject as you can plainly see.