At the end of his rope...

[Richizzle]

Hello everyone, I am new member here and a little confused on how all this works. Most of you are here citing your own problems, but I am here on behalf of my boyfriend whom I have been seeing for the past two years.
When we first met BEN* was a extremely healthy outgoing athletic 19 year old. BEN does not drink, smoke or use recreational drugs EVER. He filled his entire day partaking in sports, hockey being his passion.
Over the past 6-7 months BEN has slowly transformed into a totally different person. He feels like he is going to die. We have made several ER visits, where they have performed a number of blood, urine and EKG's on him all to return normal. But BEN still insists he is sick I will list of the numerous symptoms that he has:
feelings of suicide
Burning Sensations throughout the body
Neck, back, shoulder pain, tightness/stiffness
Feeling cold or chilled
No energy, feeling lethargic, tired
Numbness or tingling in hands, feet, face, head, or any other places on the body
Persistent muscle tension, stiffness
Sore or tight scalp or back of the neck
Chest pain or discomfort
Concern about the heart
Feel like you have to force yourself to breath
Find it hard to breath, feeling smothered, shortness of breath
Heart – beating hard or too fast, rapid heartbeat, palpitations
Heart - Irregular heart rhythms, flutters or ‘skipped’ beats, tickle in the chest that makes you cough
Fear of dying
Fears of going crazy, of dying, of impending doom, of normal things, unusual feelings and emotions, unusually frightening thoughts or feelings
Dizziness or light-headedness
Frequent headaches,
taste of blood in his mouth
this list continues on forever.
We tried him on Sertraline, which only worsened these symptoms
then we tried Effexor, more of the same.
He feel that this is not anxiety that it has to be an aneurysm of some sort. He does not believe that anyone can feel this horrible from just anxiety alone. He is so moody and disconnected that I dont know what to do.
Every suggestion I make comes with the response that he doesn't have that long to live for all these tests.

Can someone please help make sense of all this, it is taking a terrible toll on his life, he has left work for disability, quit going to hockey and never leaves the house.

His father suffers from OCD and his mother has bi-polar disorder and depression issues. I know that his mother takes Valium and Effexor. Both of his grandparents take Effexor as well.

I suffer quietly feeling so helpless to all of this and all I can do is listen and offer my support.

Does any of this touch base with anyone. I am looking to shine some light on this issue. Thanks.

[Krakers]

Hi Richi - all te symptoms you've noted are either linked with anxiery (90%) or depression (the other 10%). I'm not going to give an on the spot diagnosis, because I'm just not qualified. However it certainly *is* possible to feel that bad due to anxiety alone.

Feel free to PM me if you need further help. I'm sure more people will be contributing in the morning when they pick up your thread.

Krakers.

[manmoor]

Hi Richie,

Firstly can I say what a lovely girlfriend you are supporting your boyfriend and secondly I agree with Krakers totally all the symptoms you have listed are common with anxiety. You have come to the right place for help and support as everyone here is lovely and knows what it's like having to live with this dreaded illness. A big warm welcome to you and your boyfriend. xxx

"When There Was Only One It Was Then That I Carried You."

[mconlon]

Hello

I would certainly push him into getting some psychiatric help, referred through your GP and your local community mental health team. there is no need for him to suffer so much and there are a number of techniques that will help lift some of the symptoms that are dragging him down. There is clearly a family link or predisposition to depression and anxiety and he should not feel ashamed that he has caught the bug too - if you grow up in that atmosphere then it can only rub off on you and leave you sensitized to such symptoms.

Try having a read of "Self help for your nerves" by Claire Weekes the book by Helen Kennerly - they are great starting points in getting the help he needs.

And well done for supporting him - although he will have to do a lot of hard work, it is made easier by having a friend close by

MC

[Ma Larkin]

Hi, firstly well done for standing by your man & showing sympathy towards his symptoms. Some people would run a mile, believe me. Every symptom you have described is 100% anxiety related. I feel that 6/7 months isn't long enough for Ben to "get his head round" exactly what his happening because of the anxiety he is suffering from. Also, with the family history of depression & bi-polar disorder, it's not really surprising that anxiety would touch his life at some point.

Please reassure Ben that given time, he will begin to understand the symptoms & realise that they are not life threatening, they are just a pain & an inconvenience. He has had all the routine tests, which anxiety sufferers have, & if it was something more serious it would have been picked up on.

I reckon it took me 2 years before I stopped being scared & finally came to terms with my anxiety. My panic attacks have now stopped, but I still get anxious & the heart paliptations, breathlessness & tension still gets me now & again.

Also, as far as medication is concerned, most meds make you feel a little worse before you feel better. It takes at least 4/6 weeks to feel any real benefit.

Hope this helps and good luck.

Les, xx

[domino]

Hi richelle, sorry just came across this post, you are one hell of a girlfriend, you must truely care for this guy. my reply on your other post is on the back burner, i think what you are doing for your boyfriend is wonderful, it,s anxiety alright, get him to visit his g.p. good luck and welcome to n.m.p.

[uncle]

First of all i would just like to say hang in there....

I have just spoke to the wife about this topic and uderstand that she has pm'ed u with my email..

I am a 'carer' ( i hate that word but there isnt a better word ). My wife suffers from anxiety attacks and after a long struggle I have come to understand these attacks a lot more than I use too. Please if you do need to chat or let off steam, do not hesitate to contact me.

Things may seem hard now but they do get easier and the good times will return.. Believe me.. I am living proof :-)

[Richizzle]

Thanks guys, you are really helping to put my mind at ease. At the moment Ben is back at the ER due to his symptoms he is experiencing. I told him about this website and hopefully he can come check it out. I feel with counselling and support from wonderful people like yourselves we can get through this. I am hoping to tackle this so that we can be of assistance to others in need.[^]

[Jabz]

Hi,

are you sure I am not your boyfriend????

I have the same exact story, a year ago I was so outgoing, I dont smoke, drink or have in the past, and have never done any drugs...but all of a sudden I got really nervous about my health. I was outdoors a lot, doing sports and playing sports with my friends and then it came down on me. I literally had all of the same sympotms you mentioned, feeling burning inside as one of the really big ones (I used to check my temperature at least 10 times a day with a thermometer) all of the thoughts of death and being scared to hell were with me. I kind of just stuck it out, i thought to myself life goes on..and i endured TORTURE going to and from work..people who have anxiety and panic attacks know what I mean. I've never taken medications, but just do self-talk and self-therapy and it helps elieve it or not..i still have a few symptoms like a stiff neck and vertigo and working really hard on fixing that.

good luck..and..btw..finding this site helped me a WHOLE lot.

Stan.