bhafc22
20-06-15, 20:28
Hi all, this will be my introduction as well as my problem, I know this is going to be a long message, so thank you to those who read it and take time to reply.
About 2 and a half years ago I met the woman who I am about to marry, I will be making a MASSIVE move from the UK to the USA as an immigrant and there has been alot of pressure involved with this. I have been utterly terrified of everything going wrong for quite some time, and I worry that it's having an effect on my health, below I will list the things that have happened to me since we applied for my visa in October.
In november of last year I started getting bad stomach aches, burning in my stomach, I got told it was acid reflux and got given pills, over Xmas I was drinking and began to do what I now think of as a panic attack, my heart was pounding, I wasn't thinking straight and I basically forced myself to throw up. I then went to the USA and on the plane had what I consider to be a MASSIVE panic attack, for several days spent with my fiancee I thought I was going to die, I asked her to check I was breathing and I could not bare to face anyone else, I was terrified to leave her house and convinced myself I had stomach cancer, I spent hours on google confirming this.
I went to the drs when I got home and he had a good feel around my entire torso area and found nothing of note, gave me some stronger reflux pills and it's totally gone away, and it's been great, I'd slowly started to calm down, had a brief episode of insomnia for just under a week which recovered with some low strength over the counter sleeping pills (I fell asleep about 5 minutes after taking them, which to me indicates it was a mental thing).
Just before my fiancee arrived in England I had a bad cold and sore throat, on the last few days of it when shaving I noticed my razor rolling over a lump in the right hand side of my throat, and I had a good feel of it and googled it and instantly had lymphoma of some kind. She arrived 2 days later and we travelled Europe, during this time my gland went back down, (I can tell when shaving) and all was well, I felt great. A day or two before she left again I noticed my gland was starting to grow again, and I started to worry, after a LOT of poking and prodding on my left hand side too to see if it was both, my left side also flamed up. Since then my right hand side has shrunk again quite a lot but my left hand side has stayed large. It can be moved side to side easily.
Then at the start of this week I've felt a lump in my throat, like when you're about to cry, and a faint wheezing noise when breathing out. I've had absolutely no issues with this previously when suffering from hayfever allergies so I started to worry, then I found myself once again on Google, and I was convinced I had throat cancer, after several days of this all the symptoms went away, and I started to relax.
So I went straight back to my nodes and sure enough, my left was still quite enlarged (you know your fingers have 3 separate sections between knuckles? the node is about the size of the top one on my finger). I have done nothing but poke and prod at it for the past 36 hours, I have a drs appointment on Monday and I'm terrified she won't take me seriously because I've been in before.
All I keep seeing on google is that people had these lumps, checked them out, had cancer and that was that. My lump hasn't grown, but since I've been poking at it so much the past 36 hours it's gotten very hot and sore even when not touching it, making me worry even more.
I am panicking that something is going to go wrong so I'm stuck here in England and everything has gone SO perfectly in regards to my visa, meeting my fiancee, job opportunities, everything and I just feel something HAS to go wrong. When I find something new that must be wrong with me my first thought isn't "I'm going to die" it's "I'm not going to be able to make my big move and start this life I yearn so much for". But this symptom of my node is something that isn't caused by anxiety, it's caused by cancer, and I haven't seen anything else on the internet to say otherwise, I'm so scared, and if wants to take a biopsy or something I don't know how I'm going to cope.
Can others who have experienced anything of the kind give their stories? Thank you.
About 2 and a half years ago I met the woman who I am about to marry, I will be making a MASSIVE move from the UK to the USA as an immigrant and there has been alot of pressure involved with this. I have been utterly terrified of everything going wrong for quite some time, and I worry that it's having an effect on my health, below I will list the things that have happened to me since we applied for my visa in October.
In november of last year I started getting bad stomach aches, burning in my stomach, I got told it was acid reflux and got given pills, over Xmas I was drinking and began to do what I now think of as a panic attack, my heart was pounding, I wasn't thinking straight and I basically forced myself to throw up. I then went to the USA and on the plane had what I consider to be a MASSIVE panic attack, for several days spent with my fiancee I thought I was going to die, I asked her to check I was breathing and I could not bare to face anyone else, I was terrified to leave her house and convinced myself I had stomach cancer, I spent hours on google confirming this.
I went to the drs when I got home and he had a good feel around my entire torso area and found nothing of note, gave me some stronger reflux pills and it's totally gone away, and it's been great, I'd slowly started to calm down, had a brief episode of insomnia for just under a week which recovered with some low strength over the counter sleeping pills (I fell asleep about 5 minutes after taking them, which to me indicates it was a mental thing).
Just before my fiancee arrived in England I had a bad cold and sore throat, on the last few days of it when shaving I noticed my razor rolling over a lump in the right hand side of my throat, and I had a good feel of it and googled it and instantly had lymphoma of some kind. She arrived 2 days later and we travelled Europe, during this time my gland went back down, (I can tell when shaving) and all was well, I felt great. A day or two before she left again I noticed my gland was starting to grow again, and I started to worry, after a LOT of poking and prodding on my left hand side too to see if it was both, my left side also flamed up. Since then my right hand side has shrunk again quite a lot but my left hand side has stayed large. It can be moved side to side easily.
Then at the start of this week I've felt a lump in my throat, like when you're about to cry, and a faint wheezing noise when breathing out. I've had absolutely no issues with this previously when suffering from hayfever allergies so I started to worry, then I found myself once again on Google, and I was convinced I had throat cancer, after several days of this all the symptoms went away, and I started to relax.
So I went straight back to my nodes and sure enough, my left was still quite enlarged (you know your fingers have 3 separate sections between knuckles? the node is about the size of the top one on my finger). I have done nothing but poke and prod at it for the past 36 hours, I have a drs appointment on Monday and I'm terrified she won't take me seriously because I've been in before.
All I keep seeing on google is that people had these lumps, checked them out, had cancer and that was that. My lump hasn't grown, but since I've been poking at it so much the past 36 hours it's gotten very hot and sore even when not touching it, making me worry even more.
I am panicking that something is going to go wrong so I'm stuck here in England and everything has gone SO perfectly in regards to my visa, meeting my fiancee, job opportunities, everything and I just feel something HAS to go wrong. When I find something new that must be wrong with me my first thought isn't "I'm going to die" it's "I'm not going to be able to make my big move and start this life I yearn so much for". But this symptom of my node is something that isn't caused by anxiety, it's caused by cancer, and I haven't seen anything else on the internet to say otherwise, I'm so scared, and if wants to take a biopsy or something I don't know how I'm going to cope.
Can others who have experienced anything of the kind give their stories? Thank you.