Suicidal urges, weird symptoms, scared about MS :(

[Hyena]

I've been having this for a week. It's just too many things happened at once. (This is gonna be long but I'll get there, please please read)

First, I got bit by my iguana. Nothing to worry about, I took care of it and it's healed. Next day I got bit by a rat at the pet store. Nothing to worry about also, they're domestic, but I got this weird sensation in my head right after. Even though they're captive bred, I started googling about rat transmited deseases and started worrying a lot because of it.

To make me even more worried about infection, I started having t go to the bathroom frequently after that.

Two days after my mom was driving and telling me how ai shouldn't worry so much, but she was so angry, screaming at me, saying that one day she would be dead and I'd be screwed if I keep acting like this. I was crying so much and felt something I never felt before, The urge to openthe car door and kill myself right there. I started screaming for her to stop talking, but I couldn't control what I was saying.

Meanwhile, I started feeling something that is worrying me so so much. I have this weird burning/cold/wet/like acid (i can't describe it!!) under the top of my head, near the forehead (sometimes I feel it there too) and a burning sensation in my mouth roof. It feels like a open wound on the head, as if someone scratched there hard. I seriously can't explain it better...

First I thought the head sensation would be from wearing a ponytail, so I stopped using it, but the pain still lasts. Sometimes it feels like brainfreeze. The mouth roof pain feels like I've eaten something that scratched me there, and that was what I thought in the beggining, but no.

I've been crying about this for days. My thoughts are getting so confusing, I keep mixing up my portuguese with english, I mistead things because I read the first and second line mixed. I feel so desperate, because I've read that this acid sensation in head plus having to go to the bathroo so much plus this confusion could be signs of multiple scelerosis. And seriously, I already feel hopeless with only health anxiety, I,m pretty sure I'd kill myself If I had a condition like that.
I also get cold sensations in other random parta of my body sometimes.

So two days ago, I went to the ER about this. I told them about the acid sensation and confusion, but I couldn't stop crying for a second. The doctor was specialized in strokes and assured my I wasn't having one, but that wasn't even my worry. I had a CAT scan two months ago, so they wouldn't make one again even though I didn't have this symptom back then. When I asked about MS they said I couldn't have it because my vision and legs were fine. They gave me medication for pain (which worked for like 20min) and a strong anti anxiety medication that got me dizzy and sent me home.

I woke up the next day even worse, because not only had the sensation in my head but also the same burning/cold feeling in a spot in my arm. However, we spent the rest of the day at the pool and I didn't feel a thing back then, which could convince me it's just anxiety even though the symptom is so weird!! It came back as soon as I got home and I have it right now (the next day).

I am super, super worried. They did no testa at the hospital to reassure me I was fine. I don't feel fine, this sensation is the weirdest thing. And I think I've feelt it before in my life but only if for moment, now It's been here for days and I can't take this anymore. :(

[Hyena]

Please help me, I've now been having this cold and hot sensation in various parts of my body all the time... I'm so so scared and just had a terrible night, I feel weird and scared that something is wrong :(

[Gary A]

I think you'll just have to go to your doctor. If you're having suicidal thoughts then you need immediate medical attention. I genuinely don't think you have MS, your symptoms could be caused by a trapped nerve, or they could simply be anxiety symptoms manifesting themselves physically. Your nervous system takes a beating when you're constantly anxious, add to that the fact you're also very hyper-aware of your bodily sensations.

Go to your doctor, tell them your concerns and tell them about your suicidal thoughts. There's no point messing about on a forum full of strangers, you need to be evaluated promptly if you are indeed thinking of suicide.

[Hyena]

I only had that suicidal thought when I was in the car with my mom, because her talk was making me too anxious and I couldn't stand it anymore. Sometimes I think about it, but I know I could never kill myself because I am too scared of dying. Everytime I think that one day I won't be conscious I get this awful feeling inside me, I can't stand it. And I always have the feeling I'm gonna die early...

[Fishmanpa]

It always saddens me when I see such a young person struggling as you are. What would your mom say if you approached her about getting help with your anxiety? If that's not an option, what about a friend or relative?

When my daughter was struggling and came to me for help. She was really in a bad way. Between myself and her mother (we're divorced) we made sure she got help. She's been in therapy and has meds that have helped tremendously. She's doing great now, back in college and graduating next year.

The point is, it's apparent you need help from someone trained in mental health. You don't have some sinister physical illness. However, the illness you do have is doing the same thing by preventing you from living and enjoying your life. You're asking for help on an internet forum. I suggest you ask someone in real life and find someone that can help you one on one.

Positive thoughts

[Hyena]

Thank you for your reply, I always get emotional when people say things like that.

The thing is, I went on therapy and medication two years ago. It took a while, but also with the help of my friends and distraction I got better, and last year I moved away to college. I had a bad time moving out but once I settled in everything was fine. I thought I'd never have to deal with this again, at least not in this itensity. But after seven months away from home it came back full blown, but gradually. First I was only scared of heart attack and now all the symptoms are back. I had to give up on college, I'm getting worse and worse everyday.My parents are kinda mad at me because I let myself get worse again. Eventually they understood I had to go on therapy again, and I found this clinic who gives amazing results, but it's way to expensive, so they're putting me in another psychotherapist but I'm already thinking even if I get fine in some years this is gonna happen again...

[tmckenzie-orr]

Dude say positive, you dont have MS , And i suffer from health anxiety myself and its very easy to turn something into something else, Stay off google stay happy and enjoy life, Its stresss and worry that made u think about jumping out the car and your mum moaning at you gets on top of you and you think you just want it to end So i think its normal feelin like that but u need help for sure it will pass and you will learn to deal with the negative thoughts once your councelling has completed so if you get a headache you wont immediately think brain tumour your think damn this head ache is annoyin hopefully it will go soon, Its just thinking of the negative and turning it into positive best of luck if you ever need to talk just send me a message im only 26 years old myself