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View Full Version : Ridiculous melanoma fears



lofwyr
24-06-15, 12:51
So, I had a real health scare a few weeks ago, which involved a blood blister like lesion which was biopsied. I had pretty much written my will, you know how it is. Turned out to be benign, just some medical mystery. The relief was beyond anything I have ever felt, the doctor was sure it was something so he took it right away before a trip I was taking to Europe. They kindly gave me the biopsy results just as I left, and I put it to bed.

But that experience taught me more about melanoma than I ever wanted to know. (I was certain I had nodular melanoma, the deadliest kind, of course nothing, but it was a real, and weird lesion, it was not in my head--it is kind of a relief once in a while when it is not psychosomatic). Anyway, long story short, yay no cancer, but now I am questioning every single lump, bump and mole (I have a lot of them).

Especially concerning, I have a couple of small clear colorless new moles on the back of my neck. I didn't even know nodular melanoma could be colorless. Now I am a mess of worry over these colorless moles, small, three of them on the back of my neck. They feel like time bombs to me now, I cannot quit feeling them, and its driving me nuts.

I am sure they are fine, none bigger than a couple of millimeters, but I just want my mind to rest. All I can see is nodular melanoma, especially from the newish one, that may or may not have been there a long time, I cannot recall.

Just venting, I guess. Thanks for all the support people gave when I was sure I was a dead man.

tmckenzie-orr
24-06-15, 13:35
its horrible thats what i am like worrying about my mole that is not symmetrical nor round or oval, and even tho i showed 1 doctor i still worry, and i am focused on all my moles now lol

lofwyr
24-06-15, 14:38
Yeah, it is hard to believe how the mind works. I have three colorless moles, all small, all symmetrical, and they are the thing I am worried about. It is ridiculous, and consciously I know it, but one of them is new, and new is scary to me.

Being able to just let go of the new mole would be awesome. But no, I have apparently have to obsess over it, waiting to see if it grows, or changes.

Gary A
24-06-15, 14:59
Unfortunately, you'll be like that for a while after the scare you had. It may seem as if you're being paranoid or whatever, but I actually think it's pretty normal. In time, you'll heal, you've been through a bit of an ordeal and as much as it would be nice to just flick a switch and everything to be back to normal, the human mind doesn't work that way I'm afraid.

You will get over it eventually, it's just going to take some time.

lofwyr
24-06-15, 21:32
Yeah. This is actually what I would consider my first actual health scare, one the doctor himself seemed concerned about. That really does wake up a person with hypochondria.

I have the three colorless moles on the back of my neck. One is new, the other two have been there for ages. The new one is only scary because it is new. The other two really don't bother me, really, being years old. The new one has not passed that test of time, proving itself benign by a long time of doing nothing. Being scared of of something that has to change to be bad is an anxious person's worst nightmare, whether it's a health issue or not.

Worst, is I don't have colorless moles other than the three on the back of my neck, so they become a focal point of worry.

Ahh well, worry is the constant companion that has been with me since early childhood. There have been good days and bad over the years. The important thing for me to try and remember is that it does go away too.