we re trying for a baby...

[dabrucru]

hi all. its been a while...everything was almost under control , well, almost...but i was doing ok... now me and my wife are trying to conceive but nothing is happening...and last night was the cherry on the cake. she was taking fertility injections and the doctor told us to try yesterday but i could nt...erm...produce...if you know what i mean...she was really frustrated...and me..i could nt sleep all night ...cold flashes...chest pain...the old symptoms you all know about...anyone in my same boat? having s*x on specific dates makes me really anxious...

[Mart0310]

Hi, the fact that your anxiety in general has increase would suggest to me that the pressure of having to 'perform' at a specific time is the problem, almost like "This has to happen, I have to do this" I would hazard a guess that because you are so focused on the end of the 'task' you spend the whole experience thinking "What if I cant? what if I dont ejaculate?"

Therefore youre not really engaging with whats happening in the moment, your mind in not engulfed with the basic pleasures. Its not really surprising therefore that you're body isnt doing what it should! If you are able to ejaculate alone then I would hazard a guess that this is almost certainly the problem.

Maybe you need to try to stop looking at the end goal, lift the pressure, think of sex as sex rather than a means to an ends and get some excitement back!

I remember feeling slightly like this when we first started trying for a baby, sex took on a whole new meaning when there was no sign of pregnancy after the first month, by the time we got to the end of the second month we were both feeling the pressure, at that point we decided to go with the 'what will be, will be' approach, the following month we only tried a couple of times - The irony being that my wife conceived that very month! :doh:

[dabrucru]

thank you very much :)