Wrong choice of job

[rooby]

I have made such a bad mistake. I have had to go back to work as we seriously cannot manage on my husband who is self employed and without explaining the whole situation I have allowed myself be cornered into a job working as a p.a. for adults with acquired brain injury. I am 2 weeks into it and already about to crack. I have to work one to one taking them out in the car, minding them, walking, generally being responsible for them while in my care.
I can hardly mind myself I am constantly on edge of panic when with them, imagining all kinds of terrible things happening and my fear of losing it.
Thing is I signed a contract for 6 months and I don't no what I can do.
I am diagnosed bipolar 2 with depression mainly and anxiety. I know the stress can bring on either hypo behavior or deep depression and I feel I'm hovering between the two and about to go either way.
It is a horrible feeling like adrenaline all the time.
Please does Anybody have advice

[Soulcatcher71]

What would happen if you did quit right now?

[rooby]

No money would be the biggest thing nd I don't know if I would be able to get any social welfare at least for 6 weeks and then you have to sign you are fit for and looking for full time work and I just am not able mentally.
I was a carer for my mother in law till she moved into a care home so we lost the carers allowance and I had to get work
Also I knew the women who got me the job and they made it clear they were doing me a favour as its with a big company so it will be so awkward to explain

[Soulcatcher71]

true, but at the same time they seem to be happy to have you do the job and destroy your mental health at the same time - so wheres the favour in that?

I have been in similar situations before, but being the main bread winner I was stuck. If there's even a vague possibility you can survive without the money for a small while I'd leave before you trigger an episode that may take you months/years to get over?

[rooby]

Thankyou for the wise words. I suppose there is the embarrassment of telling them especially since I have kept it to myself.
I really wanted to try. But its just too stressful.
My husband is really kind and told me to just give it up but I know he will then push himself to work harder and he is not able. Hes 58 and has health issues of his own.
The whole matter of making a decision is probably as difficult as dealing with the consequences

[Soulcatcher71]

I know, and its easy for someone sitting here typing in a box to make decisions for you ... Please don't do anything on my account, just try to do what feels right for you :-)

[rooby]

Thanks. Its really appreciated that someone understands.

[Soulcatcher71]

No probs.

Whether they answer or not, I think most people on here understand what you are going through Rooby.

Hope it works out for you.