Poco a Poco
31-01-07, 14:30
I am not sure if this is the right folder to post in, but I think so.
I have suffered with anxiety since I was young - from about eight or nine years old I think.
The first recollection I have of being anxious was when I sat up in bed one night, crying my eyes out because I was imaging what it would be like when my family died.
Throughout my teenage years I would analyse everything I did - how I spoke to people, the way they looked at me. I would drive my Mum mad asking her about it because I would read into everything I said or other people said. I always thought I had offended someone.
So that is the background....I went through a period of social anxiety. I suffered with anorexia and bullmia for four years and have been in recovery for a year. But recently my anxiety has gotten worse. I think it has always been there in the background and some days I can deal with it or brush thoughts aside. But at the moment its really getting me down.
I met my boyfriend six months ago. He is wonderful, he cares for me so much, he would do anything for me. I feel safe with him and so relaxed. I feel loved with him more than anyone else. He lives up North and we have had a long distance relationship. Then over xmas we decided we wanted to be together and that I wanted to move in with him.
I have my friends here, I have always lived down South. I have no qualms about moving up there because it will be great - a new start, being with my boyfriend. I am very adapatable to change and I truly want to be with his guy because I want to share my life with him. But I have had so many bad days of anxiety concerning my relationship with him. Its tiring me out and I spend a lot of time in the toilets at work crying.
My main anxiety is that I will lose him, which I know "normal" people do worry about but I create scenarios in my head about ways in which I could potentially lose him. I think I could lose him to a girl he has spoken to once, or in fact, never even met!
He loves his job and I have been worried that if I move up there I will get forgotten about with his work and be left alone (as he works late sometimes). This has happened to me before with an ex boyfriend. He has told me countless times that this won't happen and that I am the most important thing in his life but time and again I become anxious about it for no reason.
I wake up feeling anxious - about nothing in particular but then as things come into my head they start to worry me as I am already feeling on edge.
People have commented that I have lost weight and even though I am eating, this stress seems to be taking its toll.
I have seen my GP asnd been put on a waiting list for therapy but I'm not sure wen that will happen.
I am really sorry for the length of this post - I just wondered if anyone could shed some light on why my anxiety should be so bad right now, when I have such a wonderful person in my life and who makes me the happiest I have ever been.
Is past experience making me worry that it will all go wrong? I don't know.
Thanks for reading xx
Jo
I have suffered with anxiety since I was young - from about eight or nine years old I think.
The first recollection I have of being anxious was when I sat up in bed one night, crying my eyes out because I was imaging what it would be like when my family died.
Throughout my teenage years I would analyse everything I did - how I spoke to people, the way they looked at me. I would drive my Mum mad asking her about it because I would read into everything I said or other people said. I always thought I had offended someone.
So that is the background....I went through a period of social anxiety. I suffered with anorexia and bullmia for four years and have been in recovery for a year. But recently my anxiety has gotten worse. I think it has always been there in the background and some days I can deal with it or brush thoughts aside. But at the moment its really getting me down.
I met my boyfriend six months ago. He is wonderful, he cares for me so much, he would do anything for me. I feel safe with him and so relaxed. I feel loved with him more than anyone else. He lives up North and we have had a long distance relationship. Then over xmas we decided we wanted to be together and that I wanted to move in with him.
I have my friends here, I have always lived down South. I have no qualms about moving up there because it will be great - a new start, being with my boyfriend. I am very adapatable to change and I truly want to be with his guy because I want to share my life with him. But I have had so many bad days of anxiety concerning my relationship with him. Its tiring me out and I spend a lot of time in the toilets at work crying.
My main anxiety is that I will lose him, which I know "normal" people do worry about but I create scenarios in my head about ways in which I could potentially lose him. I think I could lose him to a girl he has spoken to once, or in fact, never even met!
He loves his job and I have been worried that if I move up there I will get forgotten about with his work and be left alone (as he works late sometimes). This has happened to me before with an ex boyfriend. He has told me countless times that this won't happen and that I am the most important thing in his life but time and again I become anxious about it for no reason.
I wake up feeling anxious - about nothing in particular but then as things come into my head they start to worry me as I am already feeling on edge.
People have commented that I have lost weight and even though I am eating, this stress seems to be taking its toll.
I have seen my GP asnd been put on a waiting list for therapy but I'm not sure wen that will happen.
I am really sorry for the length of this post - I just wondered if anyone could shed some light on why my anxiety should be so bad right now, when I have such a wonderful person in my life and who makes me the happiest I have ever been.
Is past experience making me worry that it will all go wrong? I don't know.
Thanks for reading xx
Jo