PADESI

[Davit]

Can't find this on the internet.
Can't move it from my files.

Prepare:
1 What do I think has happened?
2 How do I feel about it?
3 What would I like to happen?
4 Are my expectations reasonable?
5 Am I taking the other persons needs and feelings into consideration?
6 Am I sure my intention is not just to control the other person?
7 Am I sure my first goal is to be understood, not just to win?
8 Am I willing to take no for an answer?
Ask:
1 Ask to talk. Do not demand they listen.
2 Few problems need to be solved instantly.
Be willing to wait for a time that is good for both (all) of you.
Describe:
1 State your observation of the situation as objectively as possible.
2 Talk about a persons behaviour, not their motive or personality.
3 Don't accuse or make judgemental statements.
4 Be clear and precise. Don't generalize or exaggerate.
5 Talk calmly.
Express:
1 State what your observations mean to you personally.
2 Don't treat your opinions and beliefs as facts.
3 Avoid talking about how angry you are. Express your primary feelings.
4 Use "I" statements, "I think", "I feel".
Specify:
1 Be specific. Misunderstanding will occur unless you state precisely what
you hope to have happen.
2 Ask for something possible, not too big. Not too burdensome.
3 Use "I" statements. "I" would like.
4 Ask for a change of behaviour, not a change of personality or feeling.
Invite:
1 Ask for their thoughts and feelings. Don't demand.
2 Don't rush the other person. They might not have an immediate response..
3 This is your chance to see if you have been understood and to discover
what the other person thinks and feels. Listen carefully.

---------- Post added at 15:23 ---------- Previous post was at 15:22 ----------

How many of these rules did you break?

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm very sure most if not all people couldn't stick to them all the time. I couldn't stick to something so large and will have broken many of them.

Some of them are seen in business techniques that I've used. Some are also compareable to business techniques which would have a different terminology due to their aims.

Is there a worksheet that you use for this, like with Thought Records? Its a big exercise so I would see people having to learn this by writing it down in that way.

[Davit]

Tracy never gave me one, I think she figured because I have numbers in my computer I could make one. Numbers is a good program.
In the least a failed or not box would be good. My brother breaks lots and doesn't even know it. So something on paper would be good. Me first is a bad habit to get into.

[MyNameIsTerry]

A SIPOC format would work well for this one.

For instance:

http://managementstudyguide.com/images/sipoc.jpg

You could replace the SIPOC segments with PADESI. Its supposed to be an input vs. output format and it doesn't have to have the steps at the bottom but is the best way as it gives a highlighted view of a process flow.

Otherwise anything with some columns on would do.

Usually you want to have a reason to start and end the process whether in a SIPOC or a Thought Record. That just means making it situational, which should be possible.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Bump