Dealing with setbacks? Please, please help...

[CrispyTowel]

Sorry, this is a bit of a long, ranty text wall! If you don't want to read it all please just look at the bottom paragraph... I'm feeling in a bad way at the moment and would really, really appreciate it!! :)

First a little background. I'm a 24 year old guy and I've suffered with anxiety to some degree all my life - had my first panic attack about 8 years or so ago. I had some counselling and a short round of CBT when I was first diagnosed, though I didn't get on too well with it so the therapist cut it short. It seemed manageable for a few years - I'd have a panic attack every now and then, but most symptoms were manageable although it has been about 5 years since I last felt "normal". I have OCD and intrusive thoughts as well. Never had any meds for it - doctor prescribed some beta blockers recently but I'm too anxious to take them, though my current therapist doesn't recommend I take them at this stage anyway.

Fast forward to today. My panic got so bad that I've just had just over 3 weeks off work sick, unable to even really face leaving the house during that time. For about 3 weeks straight, day and night, felt lightheaded, shaky, breathless, everything. First time I've ever needed time off school/work/whatever due to anxiety. Didn't really feel safe indoors or outdoors. I've been seeing a private CBT therapist for a couple of weeks and the sessions seemed to be going well. After the first session last week she recommended I go back to work this week, which I agreed with. I've been doing half days at work this week to ease myself back into it. I got a lift in on Monday and Tuesday but had to get the train home. Monday went surprisingly well, Tuesday I felt a little less confident for some reason but I got through it easy enough. Wednesday I had my second CBT session after work. I felt AMAZING that day! I still had that sort of spacey feeling in my head, but I got the bus and train both ways to work on my own, the bus to CBT on my own, got back home without panicking or having intrusive thoughts. I had a doctors appointment that same evening because I wanted to rule a few health concerns out because I've been worrying about them for years. Usually I'm an absolute wreck in the waiting room, but I was fine. Walked there and back on my own feeling pretty damn happy and proud of myself!

Thursday was ok. I felt a little less confident again for some reason, but I got through it. When I got home though I felt the familiar lightheadedness and tight chestedness and everything come to ruin it all again. I snapped at my mum during conversation because of the anxiety, had to run and sit down and calm myself down. Then this morning... I felt so bad this morning that I pretty much froze getting off the bus at the train station. It took all my effort to move my legs. I was seriously feeling like I was about to collapse, I was moments away from calling in sick at work and phoning my mum to beg her to get out of bed and pick me up. I powered through it though, however shaky and unwell I felt walking to work after getting off the train. Work itself wasn't too bad, it went better than I thought it would even if the lightheadedness did stalk me a bit. Just as the bus was pulling up in my road after work it all went to pot though... I was trying to focus on my breathing already, but all of a sudden I just started taking really rapid, deep breaths. My vision went blurry, my body went limp, for the first time ever I actually ran home because I thought I was about to collapse more than ever. I stumbled up the stairs trembling, fumbled around trying to open the door and shot straight in my room on my own to try and calm down. I've felt exhausted ever since.

I know setbacks like this are an inevitable part of recovery, but... It has really shaken my confidence. I'm not sure how I'm going to face going out to work again on Monday, as I need to get the train again in the morning and on top of that I'm expected to do a full day of work. Please, I'm pretty much begging for advice - how do I go about dealing with setbacks like this? I felt I made some damn good progress and within 24 hours it feels like I've been kicked in the gut, dragged by the hair back to square one and then been kicked while I'm down just for good measure... I don't want to start going backwards again! I'm not sure if I've been "running before I can walk", so to speak, or if something has triggered it or what...

Thank you so much for any advice, and sorry for the long post!

[Davit]

You have riders riding your positive thoughts turning then negative and redirecting them to your fear centre is all.

[Poppy Girl]

Hiya Crispy
How are you feeling today?
Sorry to hear you've had a setback but you are right - they are a part of the recovery process BUT... it's how you choose to deal with them that determines how long your recovery will take.
I am 46 and am prone to anxiety but Christmas 2013 was when it got so I couldn't cope. I was like you - had to take 6 weeks off work and then went back for a few hours a day, working up to full days. I was feeling so much better and could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then, for no reason that I could fathom, I started feeling worse again and really didn't want to leave the house. However I forced myself to go to work, even though I felt all the physical symptoms of panic and anxiety - I just did not want to go back to being a prisoner in my own house of my own making. I'll be honest, it was another couple of months before I started feeling better again but prior to that I'd felt bad for 6 months. Ive had more setbacks since but each one has lasted less time than the one before. The key is to think of the positives (my CBT therapist told me to imagine I was climbing a cliff and kept slipping but each time I'd slip a little less far than the one before and if I looked down I'd see how far I'd come).
Fast forward one year from that first setback and Ive had almost no anxiety (other than what I'd call normal standard anxiety) and no panic attacks for nearly 4 months.
Please don't give up and think you're back to square one. Use the techniques you have learned and keep pushing forward. It will take time but you'll get there.
:hugs:

[CrispyTowel]

Hiya Crispy
How are you feeling today?
Sorry to hear you've had a setback but you are right - they are a part of the recovery process BUT... it's how you choose to deal with them that determines how long your recovery will take.
I am 46 and am prone to anxiety but Christmas 2013 was when it got so I couldn't cope. I was like you - had to take 6 weeks off work and then went back for a few hours a day, working up to full days. I was feeling so much better and could see the light at the end of the tunnel. Then, for no reason that I could fathom, I started feeling worse again and really didn't want to leave the house. However I forced myself to go to work, even though I felt all the physical symptoms of panic and anxiety - I just did not want to go back to being a prisoner in my own house of my own making. I'll be honest, it was another couple of months before I started feeling better again but prior to that I'd felt bad for 6 months. Ive had more setbacks since but each one has lasted less time than the one before. The key is to think of the positives (my CBT therapist told me to imagine I was climbing a cliff and kept slipping but each time I'd slip a little less far than the one before and if I looked down I'd see how far I'd come).
Fast forward one year from that first setback and Ive had almost no anxiety (other than what I'd call normal standard anxiety) and no panic attacks for nearly 4 months.
Please don't give up and think you're back to square one. Use the techniques you have learned and keep pushing forward. It will take time but you'll get there.
:hugs:
Hi :)

Thanks for the reply - not been feeling too good today... I woke up at about 2:30 in the morning, felt really dizzy and went into a panic attack so yet again I was up for an hour in the middle of the night before the day even started... I've had the lightheadedness and that floaty feeling pretty much all day. I was supposed to be back doing a full day at work today, tough I spoke to my manager and only did half a day, though I'm expected to do a full day tomorrow... Not sure how I'm going to manage it really. :/ I've been looking really pale again today as well and feel more like I did when I first went off sick. Apparently it has been warm today but I've just felt cold, wore my fleece on the train and everything. I don't know what to do.

What techniques could you recommend to help? I've been told to take deep, slow breaths to the count of 3 which I try to do, but all that does is make me focus on my breathing and the tight chest feeling more which makes the anxiety worse. I was told that counting backwards can help too but again I end up just panicking and counting faster and faster hoping that by the time I get to 0 the symptoms will be gone.

I'll be honest, once I got home today I did feel a lot better. I got busy making a sandwich for lunch and by the time I was done I had completely forgotten about the anxiety, could sing and "dance" a little while I had the house to myself and felt pretty fine. Then I dozed off for about 20 minutes and, as usual, upon waking up I feel groggy and a little lightheaded which sets off another panic attack... There isn't much at home though, and certainly nothing at work, that engages me enough to grab my full attention and take it away from the panic though. As a result I end up just having an 8 hour anxiety session at work, and it doesn't get much better when I come home most of the time.

[Crystalhiggs]

Hello there
Sorry you're having a hard time :(
Have you tried 7/11 breathing? It works wonders but you have to do it for a good few minutes before you notice any improvement (I do anyway!). Basically breathe in to the count of 7 and out for 11. You don't need to do it too slowly, try to find what's comfortable.

EFT is another good one, you can Google the tapping techniques it's really easy. I tend to stick with just tapping the sides of my hands whilst saying "even though I'm feeling anxious, I'm ok". It does work when you get used to it.

This anxiety business is truly horrible, but remember lots and lots of people go through this, some are just better at hiding it than others! (And hiding it is not good anyway!) :)

[Dogloverlyn]

Hi
I too am in the middle of a severe setback, hence why I find myself returning to this fantastic site. I have been suffering anxiety for 15 years, then 5 years ago found myself in hospital after a severe panic attack causing me to collapse at work, I also was suffering with an unknown kidney problem, which caused the panic attack. After trying counselling, CBT, hypnosis, numerous anti-depressants/tablets, have come to accept this is me, accept it, deal with it, it will pass and I will get through it. I am a sensitive, worrying kind of person and this is what happens to some people. I tend to get very anxious in the mornings, whether it be a work day or not. As the day proceeds by the evening I nearly feel back to normal. However, my latest setback was caused by me simply visiting my Doctors to discuss a few issues. On taking my blood pressure, my Doctor said my blood pressure was extremely high and prescribed a higher dose of pills. This sent me into shear melt down. Sunday I woke and just could not cope. I felt suicidal, dreading the day, fear, floaty, confused, heart pounding, frightening spiralling thoughts, shaky all over, I convinced myself it was the higher dose of BP tablets so I stopped taking them. My blood pressure had gone even higher – more panic. I find the breathing techniques and tapping do help, but in the midst of an attack, you are confused and I find remembering them is the hard thing. I find talking to someone helps me, I arranged to meet a fellow sufferer and talk through our experiences, I keep myself occupied, sharing on this site helps, you are NOT alone, accept it, it will pass with time and you will get through it. Good Luck

[jcd_gad]

I know what you mean - i've been with a company for the last few months. I've made it clear i've been tapering off my medication and bringing it down.

I've found it hard, and was off for two weeks in tears with a mini breakdown.

Yesterday I was called into an office and told that my contract would be terminated due to performance reasons.

I'm shocked angry, disgusted at the way I was treated. What rights do I have?