Madgirl12
04-07-15, 14:21
Hi everyone,
Is it normal to get really anxious when someone gives you too much attention? I have a friend and he's constantly messaging me on Facebook. This has been going on for about 2 years now. Sometimes it's nice to chat to him other times it makes me feel really anxious because he's always messaging me and I feel I have to reply. I've given him advice in the past and he's done the same for me but it's the fact that it's never ending!
Usually, when I message someone on FB we'll chat for maybe a few days and then both go our separate ways again and I don't hear from them for a while and it's all good. It's normal. But this is like overkill.
He used to be good friends with another mutual friend and spend time with her but it's like he's moved on from her to me now! He's a nice enough guy, but I don't really want to hear all the humdrum details of his life day in day out! I spent some time with him at his house a few years back (as friends only, I don't see him in that way) because I was bored and he invited me to stay. I made sure that he knew it was just a friends visit and he said of course and he didn't come onto me or anything, although he started randomly talking about relationships when he was driving me back to the airport and said that he's rubbish with women and can never tell if they like him. I was a bit worried about where the conversation was going so quickly told him that there was a guy I liked back home and we started chatting about that instead. Not sure if he was going to tell me he liked me but I felt pretty awkward. I thought once I'd visited him that the messaging would stop but it continued. Even when he was in another country he was messaging me - I told him to cool it (in a nice way) as I needed a break and he stopped it until he got home. Then it started again. The fact that it shows when someone's read the message as well doesn't help - I can't just pretend I didn't read it. Also he often reads my messages as soon as I send them. It's like he's sitting waiting on them.
I have a boyfriend now and they've met and that went well but he's still at it with the long messages every few days. Even when I was planning a holiday he told me to remember to leave time for a catch up with him if I was flying into the airport near him and that sent me into a panic, as I felt obligated to meet him, however I didn't go that way in the end as it was cheaper to go another route. But part of me was relieved. He's nice but it's like he's become addicted to messaging!
I've told him a few times that the constant messaging was stressing me out and I don't have time for it, and he apologised and disappeared for a while but then he'd be back again, asking how I'm doing and telling me what he'd been up to and it would go on from there! I generally use FB messaging for making plans/asking people for advice etc in private but it's like he's become a penpal! And I wouldn't mind this kind of thing occasionally but it's been 2 years. He's a bit dull as well unfortunately (although he can be funny, but still). I think he's a bit socially awkward and isn't aware of how he's coming across but I'm not sure what to do.
He's also related to a good friend of mine (she's the reason I know him) so I can't just block him or anything. That would be mean anyway. What to do?
Is it normal to get really anxious when someone gives you too much attention? I have a friend and he's constantly messaging me on Facebook. This has been going on for about 2 years now. Sometimes it's nice to chat to him other times it makes me feel really anxious because he's always messaging me and I feel I have to reply. I've given him advice in the past and he's done the same for me but it's the fact that it's never ending!
Usually, when I message someone on FB we'll chat for maybe a few days and then both go our separate ways again and I don't hear from them for a while and it's all good. It's normal. But this is like overkill.
He used to be good friends with another mutual friend and spend time with her but it's like he's moved on from her to me now! He's a nice enough guy, but I don't really want to hear all the humdrum details of his life day in day out! I spent some time with him at his house a few years back (as friends only, I don't see him in that way) because I was bored and he invited me to stay. I made sure that he knew it was just a friends visit and he said of course and he didn't come onto me or anything, although he started randomly talking about relationships when he was driving me back to the airport and said that he's rubbish with women and can never tell if they like him. I was a bit worried about where the conversation was going so quickly told him that there was a guy I liked back home and we started chatting about that instead. Not sure if he was going to tell me he liked me but I felt pretty awkward. I thought once I'd visited him that the messaging would stop but it continued. Even when he was in another country he was messaging me - I told him to cool it (in a nice way) as I needed a break and he stopped it until he got home. Then it started again. The fact that it shows when someone's read the message as well doesn't help - I can't just pretend I didn't read it. Also he often reads my messages as soon as I send them. It's like he's sitting waiting on them.
I have a boyfriend now and they've met and that went well but he's still at it with the long messages every few days. Even when I was planning a holiday he told me to remember to leave time for a catch up with him if I was flying into the airport near him and that sent me into a panic, as I felt obligated to meet him, however I didn't go that way in the end as it was cheaper to go another route. But part of me was relieved. He's nice but it's like he's become addicted to messaging!
I've told him a few times that the constant messaging was stressing me out and I don't have time for it, and he apologised and disappeared for a while but then he'd be back again, asking how I'm doing and telling me what he'd been up to and it would go on from there! I generally use FB messaging for making plans/asking people for advice etc in private but it's like he's become a penpal! And I wouldn't mind this kind of thing occasionally but it's been 2 years. He's a bit dull as well unfortunately (although he can be funny, but still). I think he's a bit socially awkward and isn't aware of how he's coming across but I'm not sure what to do.
He's also related to a good friend of mine (she's the reason I know him) so I can't just block him or anything. That would be mean anyway. What to do?