Anyone have "safe" people?

[sial72]

Hi
For the past 4 months I have been practically bedridden with a health problem which has also caused me to have a lot of anxiety and panic attacks.
My mother, who has been helping me all this time, now has to leave as she lives abroad.
I also have a partner, he works very long hours, but he is not far from home.
The thing is that I have always had "safe" people in the same way I have "safe" places.
The safe people are: 1. my best friend (who unfortunately now lives far away) and 2. My mum
If I panic I only feel relaxed when I have them around or can speak to them.
So, tomorrow my mother is leaving and I'm afraid I won't be able to take care of my daughter without her and I'm getting panicky.
Does this happen to anyone?

[Sam123]

I haven't got a child so not the same situation, but when i was bad the only person i could talk to, or bare to be around was my partner. He had to increase his hours to support us and that was very hard. I hated being alone, i am far better now but he was my safe person.

I'm sorry you're in this situation, how old is your daughter if you don't mind me asking?

[sial72]

She is 6 and she is quite independent, showers by herself and can do most things bless her, but I will have to cook and do certain things which I find very difficult and that scares me x

[Leah1971]

Yes I have 'safe people'. It's my sister. When I'm bad I move in with her and her family. We always laugh and have fun. And I feel safe with her. At the moment she's away on holidays and I'm having a blip with my anxiety. I've been counting the days until she's home.

[nicola1980]

Hi, my mum is my safe person and I always panic when she's going on holiday, 3 years ago she had to cancel her holiday last minute as I got myself in such a state but over the past couple of years I've tried to wean myself away from my mum for both our sakes...I mean I'm a 35 year old married mum for goodness sake!! It was really hard to do but I now know I can cope without her and nothing bad is going to happen to me because she's not with me, yes I still get panicky when she goes on holiday but I manage and if I feel particularly bad I can always ring her and just hearing her voice makes me feel better. Alot of anxiety sufferers have a safe person but we also need to learn to cope without them, keep telling yourself you can cope and slowly your confidence will return XX

[Sam123]

It's hard when you have been used to certain people as you say 'safe' people, it's not as easy to be able to get help. Your daughter sounds lovely and a credit to you bless her, it's all about one step at a time, trying not to look at the bigger picture and just focusing on the smaller things, as to not overwhelm yourself. I hope you can get some support though, i can imagine it must be difficult for you :hugs:

[dally]

Yes, my husband is my safe person. And he's going away for two nights at the end of this week.
I wouldn't say I was consciously 'worrying' about it as I usually do, but it constantly 'pops' into my mind.
Ihavend got to the what if? When he's away....yet

[Davit]

I'm a telephone safe person in my area. People have my number or I wouldn't have a phone. Often just having a number is enough. I talked one lady to sleep every night for almost a year. Another was 4000 miles away. I think though that I'm rare. There are safe people that take people here shopping. We have a medi bus that delivers people to out of town appointments and you can take your safe person with you. The larger bus travels the length of the provence for a bit more than your ten pounds per person.

[Sam123]

I talked one lady to sleep every night for almost a year. Another was 4000 miles away. That's lovely.

[Davit]

It is me is all.

[sial72]

Thank you so much all! Yes, I do have other help, my partner, friends, neighbours... who have all offered help. I am very grateful and really I suppose I'll get by. In fact I didn't insist that my mother stays because I think I need to feel I can do it myself, as Nicola1980 says I'm a 42 year old mother for Goodness Sake �� and my Mum isn't getting younger so I can't depend on her forever.

[johnno]

I have a few friends but not that close but I do have 'safe people'. I get people who I just automatically know or assume I'll feel comfortable with. Probably the ones that feel comfortable with my awkwardness, then there is others that seem to react towards my awkwardness and that can become weird :/