convinced i have lung cancer have to be brave

[Aries82]

hi everyone,
this is my very first post here. i was up late googling symptoms and i came across this site on accident. so...i thought this may be a helpful tool to get some support or encouragment. so here is my story im a 33 yr old female in the US.
i am a smoker though i have cut down and now using an electric cig. no major health issues that i can positively say other than high blood pressure which is under control but here is the problem

so about 6 yrs ago i had a sever case of pneumonia confirmed by a chest xray that day i also was told a tiny nodule on left lung was present and that it could be nothing or could be something since i smoke well due to ignorance and fear i dismissed it and went on with life like usual fast forward 9 month later i ended up in the er due to sever back pain. they had done a ct of chest with contrast to rule out pulmonary embolisim i was told ct was all normal i asked the dr would this detect lung nodules she said yes but nothing was found. i brought the copy of the ct scan to my doctor and he said thats good news. so for last 5 years lung cancer never really crossed my mind again untill jan 5 of this year
my father who is 84 and quit smoking 45 years ago was diagnosed with lung cancer due to an accidental finding. i sat through his surgery and now go with him to every chemo. since then the fear is that the nodule is sitll there and just didnt show up on ct at er. the fear has taken over my life i can no longer get out of bed bc i feel that i will be dead in the next year so whats the point everyone says to ease your mind go to dr have another test well that scares me even more bc then it becomes real i know i have it so i must be brave
so i needed to reassure myself and requested a copy of the ct scan i had done at er 5 yrs ago i read it and yes it says all normal it did state a sclerotic lesion on left rib was a bone island which from what i read is not cancer. so now my thought is could it have been that bone island showing on the xray and no one knew it untll the ct scan was done??? i dunno anymore i havent had many infections since 6 years maybe 2 which antibiotic cleared up my most recent was a bad sore throat and cough a few months ago but i still have alot of phlem in the morning which my husband says its from smoking even though i cut down. so this friday i am being brave because this has paralyzed my life im going to the dr to get a chest xray had blood work a year ago all normal i dunno what else to say except i know my time is up please take a moment to reply if you have any thought to weigh in on or advice i would so much appreciate it

thanks all

[tmckenzie-orr]

I understand how stressful it must be and a great trigger for the lung cancer for your dad, if your result said you was clear then you was clear dont think what if they missed something because the chance of that happening is 1% 99% fine, You need to think to yourself if your that worried u must stop smokin so this doesnt happen to you in the future, But you must get a hold of yourself the phlem in the morning is from smoking and also your diet, are you drinking enough water? I understand why your worrying but why waste your life worrying STOP it now if ur result said your fine then and everything is fine then your fine Ask for some cbt therapy to help you

[countrygirl]

I understand you anxiety because on this site we all suffer from it! 5 years ago your ct scan was normal and as ct is the gold standard for identifying suspicious lung problems its almost 100% certain that 5 years ago you did not have lung cancer.

Having repeat ct scans is not good due to the radiation dose BUT how about this for a plan of action. You stop smoking - totally forever as you are young enough to undo all the damage you have done to yourself and reduce your future risk of lung cancer dramatically - and then see if your Dr would consider you having chest x ray at least to reassure you. A chest x ray is minute amount of radiation compared to ct and although not gold standard for lung cancer it would help reassure you I hope.

If you continue to smoke even a reduced amount then you will never reduce your long term risk of lung cancer. My aunty smoked for 45years heavily and on her 60th birthday just stopped and never had anohter one, she is now 86 and her lungs are fine so if she can do it at that age after such heavy smoking - you can.

[Aries82]

Thanks to you guys for even reading my post it helps me to know I am not alone. My husband seems to think my fathers cancer and me spending everyday in hospital with him triggered my fears. But then I think ok what if the ct was clear back then that was 5 years ago anything can be there over that period of time. I have tickle in my throat,shoulder pain, phlegm. I go back and fourth with myself as to get a new X-ray also over last 2 years i had to have extensive dental work which resulted in many many X-rays so I figure if I can't let this go and try to live then I have to find peace of mind somehow. I just feel like j hit a brick wall i don't want to be like my poor dad who had no symptoms and then one day boom we r told he has stage 3 cancer. I just woke up but can't face this day with my fears

[tmckenzie-orr]

i can imagine its everyones fears not to end up like that obviously as your dad is going through it it is a major panic and worry for yourself, But you dont have it but i would most certainly learn from it and not smoke anymore, Hopefully u can stop ur panicking and worrying and stop smoking properly then you will feel alot better and know you havent got to worry about lung cancer as much, Just enjoy life and be there for ur dad , best of luck if you ever need to talk just message away ,

[Aries82]

Than you I mean it sincerely. I know what your are saying is realistic and true but I've tried that for about a month I did good hen I got the tickle in thrust and phlegm. I have stopped smoking recently but use an ecig which my dr knows about and says it's much better and safer. Everyone around me says if that was cancer 5 years ago you wouldn't be able to work out 2 hours a day high cardio like you do or they say you would be a lot sicker than a tickle. I really feel if I don't follow up now 6 years later I will have a nervous breakdown. It consumes my every waking moment. Plus they found a supposed bone island in rib what if that has turned to cancer. See I can't stop I just am sorry if I am bothering you guys I just don't know where else to turn. Some say go and check it out for peace of mind some say your fine. But I am no exception I see very young people with cancer and so many that never even smoked. I say well that's it I'm next. I cry all day can't get out of bed can't function or smile. My husband says you are fine but I tell him you are not psychic you say that because of course you hope and wish I am well I let you guys be. I guess this Friday I can get the X-ray order doesn't mean I'll go. Too afraid I think of what may be found

[tmckenzie-orr]

Exactly if it was cancer 5 years ago u would most certainly be frail and the cancer would of spread not just have a little bit of phlem and throat twinges or whatever lol, Trust me you dont have cancer. try and cut of the e cig too and work your way of it completly, you will get there if you really want to, Its scary thinking about x rays and stuff but its piece of mind if its gonna be the only way to beat this anxiety that you are going through at the moment, around 2 years ago when i first joined this site i had a super hot curry and i had this tightness around my throat and excess phlem i was convinced it was throat cancer, i saw 6 doctors while i waited for a laranscopy camera down the throat, i was convinced i was so scared, I started cbt threapy for anxiety , I had the camera down the throat all clear all fine, and i stopped therapy saying im fine and they said keep with it as it will return, Throat tightness went excess phlem went, 2 years on i had a accident at work a massive brick wall fell on me, It made a massive lump in the groin a huge blood clot but i thought it was a hernia and the thought of a hernia = operation etc haha sent me into panic and caused my anxiety to return then it went onto skin cancer worrying saw 2 different doctors about a mole that looked irregular both said its absolutely fine now thats gone now focusing on other moles haha, I have cbt therapy first appointment for monday 13th july, And this time im gonna stick with it , Basically what im saying is anxiety is evil and i think you should consider Cbt therapy which could help this horrible thing go and control the way you think, YOU DONT HAVE CANCER FACT!! everything your feeling is anxiety i bet even the excess phlem is caused by anxiety the morning used to be majorly worse for me it wud be bright white foam and green sometimes it was horrible anxiety caused real symptoms haha what a rant lol haha i got carried away there haha my fingers must of been typing 60 words per min haha :hugs: