Bus journey anxiety

[zx123]

Hi,
I am not sure if this is the right forum to post this in.
A few months ago I had the experience of being on a bus journey and needing to use the bathroom to have a bowel movement. Due to being on a bus I was unable to use the bathroom and I had to hold on for a prolonged period of time.

Ever since that time I have become anxious about going on bus journeys and I worry that the same thing might happen again. I now try to find ways of avoiding the same situation happening again by doing certain
things. When I know that I will be going on a bus journey I have to use the bathroom to make sure my bowels are empty and I try to plan my journey so that I can stop to make sure that I will be able to use a toilet without having to wait too long. If I am unable to do these things I start to feel anxious. I used to go on long bus journeys without worrying or feeling anxious about it and I want to go back to being like that.

I feel that this fear is getting out of hand and I would be very grateful if somebody could offer me any advice about how to deal with this.
Thank you.

[Oosh]

Well can you remember what your mindset was when you didn't care ?

When you didn't care, what would have happened if you were travelling and needed the toilet ? "Ah how bloody annoying, I'll have to get off" or something similar ?

I like your precautions. Pretty normal thing to do to try to solve the problem in that way. But in feeling you need to take those precautions so religiously you are sending the message to yourself that this outcome you wish to avoid really DOES need avoiding at all costs !!!
Instead of trying to send a different message to yourself that if you did need to go it would, in reality, be no more than an annoying inconvenience.

"I'll try to avoid it in a sensible way like trying to be regular so toilet habits are more predictable but I also accept that it is not something to be overly feared as it would only amount to an annoying inconvenience anyway. "

Lower it in importance. Accept the likelihood is remote anyway. Don't feel the need to prepare so much because it's not that big a deal anyway.

It's something everyone deals with. I do it too to some extent with having a wee because I'm a tea drinker. If im at the shops I'm always conscious of where toilets are and it's very annoying.

Create some balance in how you see it. It's not such a huge deal in reality. Travel a bit earlier in case you need to get off. Drop some of the precautions. Show yourself it's ok.

[zx123]

Hi,
thanks for the reply/advice.
I found the the bus experience to be quite traumatic and I suppose my mind is sending the message 'danger, avoid at all costs'. I have been experiencing increased levels of anxiety over the last year and I think that is connected to this situation.

At the moment I still use the bus but I use but I can only do it by using the coping mechanisms that I mentioned. I try to use the bathroom and then I think that hopefully I will be ok for the duration of the journey. Even though I use these coping mechanisms, when things don't go according to plan it still makes me feel anxious.

Soon I will have to use the bus to take a journey which I haven't been on in a long time and I am feeling quite anxious about it. I am planning to stop halfway to give myself some reassurance. I used to do this journey all the time and I never used to think about it.

I still find it strange that not that long ago I wasn't even thinking about all these things.

Thanks

---------- Post added at 09:49 ---------- Previous post was at 09:43 ----------

Before I had the experience on the bus I suppose my mind-set was that I didn't place any undue prominence on the situation. Since I had the experience I suppose in my mind I feel as though I want to guard against the same thing happening again. I suppose I try to over compensate to make sure that the same thing doesn't happen.

[Oosh]

When you have something you're terrified of like that and you never have a solution to it, it is always there hanging over you and it just drip feeds you the message that "the terrible thing is out there". You live every moment with a sense of dread and because you never seem to feel in control of this terrible, terrifying thing, it makes you feel at the mercy of that level of anxiety. It's like you give it power over you because you haven't dealt with it. It then takes that power you give to it and attaches itself to other things in your life which also then fall under this illusion of being terrible.

Living every day with that constant terror of the "thing" takes its toll on you and you start to develop the usual symptoms of anxiety. I did it for years over a job and would have terrible brain fog and would be off balance whenever I walked.
The "thing" eventually happened and I stood at the edge of the cliff in terror. But the reality was ok. I fell into a different work situation, I faced some fears and that "thing" was gone. I've come to realise in more recent times that not carrying around that daily fear of the thing is probably a big contributory factor to me not suffering from light headedness or brain fog anymore.

And if you look and see what brought that positive change about it was realising that the "thing" didn't really warrant the fear I gave it. But until I actually faced it I was never going to realise that and instead would always be in this perpetual state of anxiety at the "thing" in my life/future that terrified me.

I've found this is usually the way. Whether it's embarrassing situations on buses, work place fears, going outside, you give a thing power it just doesn't warrant.

Your bus situation, shrink it down, it's an annoying little gremlin pulling at your sock, kick it in the face. It's not real.

You can certainly take a sensible level of precaution to avoid discomfort. If the journeys long then it's just the sensible thing to do. It's a reasonably easily managed situation.
If I was going on on a long bus journey I'd worry about when and where I could have a wee and that's normal.
But catch yourself if you are picturing terrifying, catastrophic scenarios that trigger all your fears, if you look down you'll see the little gremlin whispering nasty nonsense to you again trying to scare you. Pick it up, do some keepy uppies with it (like with a football) and kick it across the road into the bin. Treat it with disdain. See it for what it really is.

Recognise fear.
Recognise the mischief.

Make your "thing" not terrifying and it goes away and a renewed sense of confidence and control will take its place.

You need to find a home on buses. (Not literally lol) Find comfort on buses. Feel in control on buses. Give yourself a giggle on buses.

Now keep pushing in that direction -
Buses are your friend.
Some people worry about buses but not you.
Bus environments enhance your sense of confidence and control.
They are a battleground on which you nullified one of your fears and you take comfort in that when you are there.
They are a symbol of your confidence and ability. They fill you with a positive mood because buses show you that fear can be made powerless.
The bus was always your friend. Fear got in between that. Now with fear out of the way you and buses can be brought back together and you now feel the benefit of all the new positive symbolism they provide.

You can get leverage over a lot with a little imagination.

Make the feared place the place you feel comfortable.

[zx123]

I will try to do that,

Thanks:)