har76
08-07-15, 19:41
Hi - I'm about to write a very long post about my experiences of health anxiety and about some moments of revelation I've recently had - please read if you are able to because i think this could be a great help to anyone (including myself) who has health anxiety (in my case with a bit of GAD thrown in for good measure)
Anyway here goes. ...
I have been a lurker on the NMP website for about three years now and I have introduced myself in the past and posted the odd thing but for sometime now (possibly two years) I've stayed quiet trying not to associate myself with this nightmare called anxiety - however on an almost daily basis I have trawled the symptoms forums for reassurance about the whole myriad of conditions I am convinced I have had everything from checking little red spots on my arms to air hunger via ibs via twitchy eyes and wonky ribs via my latest two worries which have been asbestos poisoning (doing up an old house uncovered old vinyl and well you know the rest) & today checking my fingernails for signs of any disorder I can. I have had 'anxiety' symptoms a plenty everything from random aches pains, digestion issues, depersonalisation I could go on&on&on. I think I have just about searched everything under the sun -in fact including the sun as some of my research on asbestos shows that in fact in small domestic uses it is highly unlikely to be dangerous and in fact there are so many chemicals & naturally occurring elements which hey are probably not to good for us but we live among them some of us hopefully to a ripe old age without too many problems. And this is where the turning point comes. Many people take risks in life and are happy - they simply get on and look outwards. They don't check everything or give a second thought to a worry. They are not naive just not willing to over load themselves with information on diseases/symptoms/causes/risk etc. The human brain is programmed to save us from danger so we have a strong ability to remember 'danger' - however as we are no longer fighting lions in jungles or brain seeks other dangers like illness/disease etc - it is just doing it's job and in the case of those of us who have this part of our brains on high alert then everything 'could' be something and more specifically something dangerous hence the rising panic and the vicious cycle of symptoms. Those who don't have anxiety go yes it could be something but it's most probably nothing. AND that seems to be the key to this all. It is most probably nothing or even if it is something - it isn't always the end of the world in fact it is more probably not even close. Sounds radical I know - but (and I've researched and researched all sorts on this) here is the deal. Yes we are all going to die - FACT. However we are also extremely lucky in that we live in a time where ok yes we have lots of things that can cause diseases but we also have wonders of medical science which are starting to uncover a wealth of measures to countreact this and if not cure it at least offer extended/improved life expectancies - and this is improving - the latest cancer advert says it all we are at a stage where more people survive than die from this and life expectancy for those with incurable cancers through care is improving. I have spent today in a stress over kidney disease for various reasons (I'm actually having a ct scan on Monday for a kidney stone so guess I've made the link) - so I thought right sod it I'm going to research what kidney disease is all about rather than snippets of hear say - so I went on nhs website to discover that it is in nearly all but 1% of cases a manageable condition and not something you simply drop dead from and can be lived with for many many years. My point is this - yes something may get you but things that will cause you to drop dead on the spot you just don't see coming they are the random lightening strikes that we can not control. We can make some very sensible lifestyle changes that reduce our risks (eat better, drink less, take more exercise) this is the same for all of the above. What isn't helping and never will is worrying. I've also discovered that this appeals to the logical party of my brain - if i continue to let my anxiety and worry dominate my every waking hour and the worse was to happen then would I really want to be faced with the thought that I had wasted so much time over unnecessary worrying. Because at the end of the day the worry didn't stop it happening what it has stopped is any enjoyment of life to that point. FACT. So how do we find the balance - I believe we have to apply a bit of neuroplasticity - train our brains to recognise a new way of thinking using the above thoughts - I feel this will minimise the worry about a particular condition rather than stop it completely which is the healthier balance - again it isn't wise to ignore symptoms that may be something just stop assuming they are - get it checked and get on with dealing with whatever if anything it turns out to be - including living your life at the same time. I know there are campaigns about spotting changes/unusual things (I got so wound up with that one that I started to forget what is 'usual' for me) I honestly believe these are aimed at people who do wildly ignore stuff and as I've said I'm aiming for balance here I don't think I'll fall in that caterory I don't think I'm capable. I am hoping I've managed to take enough of my fear out off things to be able to deal with them rationally.
I hope that makes sense - I'm only the start of finally tackling this in a way which seems to make sense to me at least and I recognise this isn't going to be as straight forward but as I'm typing this I'm nodding to myself in agreement and smiling. Earlier I was crying. This is a step forward. If anyone is looking to chat about this I don't have much of an outlet at home (hubby is so laid back he just thinks I'm nuts! ) then I would really welcome this as I think again a group of like minded people can help each other taste the freedom from health anxiety and worry.
Thank you for reading
A x
Anyway here goes. ...
I have been a lurker on the NMP website for about three years now and I have introduced myself in the past and posted the odd thing but for sometime now (possibly two years) I've stayed quiet trying not to associate myself with this nightmare called anxiety - however on an almost daily basis I have trawled the symptoms forums for reassurance about the whole myriad of conditions I am convinced I have had everything from checking little red spots on my arms to air hunger via ibs via twitchy eyes and wonky ribs via my latest two worries which have been asbestos poisoning (doing up an old house uncovered old vinyl and well you know the rest) & today checking my fingernails for signs of any disorder I can. I have had 'anxiety' symptoms a plenty everything from random aches pains, digestion issues, depersonalisation I could go on&on&on. I think I have just about searched everything under the sun -in fact including the sun as some of my research on asbestos shows that in fact in small domestic uses it is highly unlikely to be dangerous and in fact there are so many chemicals & naturally occurring elements which hey are probably not to good for us but we live among them some of us hopefully to a ripe old age without too many problems. And this is where the turning point comes. Many people take risks in life and are happy - they simply get on and look outwards. They don't check everything or give a second thought to a worry. They are not naive just not willing to over load themselves with information on diseases/symptoms/causes/risk etc. The human brain is programmed to save us from danger so we have a strong ability to remember 'danger' - however as we are no longer fighting lions in jungles or brain seeks other dangers like illness/disease etc - it is just doing it's job and in the case of those of us who have this part of our brains on high alert then everything 'could' be something and more specifically something dangerous hence the rising panic and the vicious cycle of symptoms. Those who don't have anxiety go yes it could be something but it's most probably nothing. AND that seems to be the key to this all. It is most probably nothing or even if it is something - it isn't always the end of the world in fact it is more probably not even close. Sounds radical I know - but (and I've researched and researched all sorts on this) here is the deal. Yes we are all going to die - FACT. However we are also extremely lucky in that we live in a time where ok yes we have lots of things that can cause diseases but we also have wonders of medical science which are starting to uncover a wealth of measures to countreact this and if not cure it at least offer extended/improved life expectancies - and this is improving - the latest cancer advert says it all we are at a stage where more people survive than die from this and life expectancy for those with incurable cancers through care is improving. I have spent today in a stress over kidney disease for various reasons (I'm actually having a ct scan on Monday for a kidney stone so guess I've made the link) - so I thought right sod it I'm going to research what kidney disease is all about rather than snippets of hear say - so I went on nhs website to discover that it is in nearly all but 1% of cases a manageable condition and not something you simply drop dead from and can be lived with for many many years. My point is this - yes something may get you but things that will cause you to drop dead on the spot you just don't see coming they are the random lightening strikes that we can not control. We can make some very sensible lifestyle changes that reduce our risks (eat better, drink less, take more exercise) this is the same for all of the above. What isn't helping and never will is worrying. I've also discovered that this appeals to the logical party of my brain - if i continue to let my anxiety and worry dominate my every waking hour and the worse was to happen then would I really want to be faced with the thought that I had wasted so much time over unnecessary worrying. Because at the end of the day the worry didn't stop it happening what it has stopped is any enjoyment of life to that point. FACT. So how do we find the balance - I believe we have to apply a bit of neuroplasticity - train our brains to recognise a new way of thinking using the above thoughts - I feel this will minimise the worry about a particular condition rather than stop it completely which is the healthier balance - again it isn't wise to ignore symptoms that may be something just stop assuming they are - get it checked and get on with dealing with whatever if anything it turns out to be - including living your life at the same time. I know there are campaigns about spotting changes/unusual things (I got so wound up with that one that I started to forget what is 'usual' for me) I honestly believe these are aimed at people who do wildly ignore stuff and as I've said I'm aiming for balance here I don't think I'll fall in that caterory I don't think I'm capable. I am hoping I've managed to take enough of my fear out off things to be able to deal with them rationally.
I hope that makes sense - I'm only the start of finally tackling this in a way which seems to make sense to me at least and I recognise this isn't going to be as straight forward but as I'm typing this I'm nodding to myself in agreement and smiling. Earlier I was crying. This is a step forward. If anyone is looking to chat about this I don't have much of an outlet at home (hubby is so laid back he just thinks I'm nuts! ) then I would really welcome this as I think again a group of like minded people can help each other taste the freedom from health anxiety and worry.
Thank you for reading
A x