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Is there a certain medication that can be taken regular that matches the effects of diazepam? I can't even begin to say how bad I have been today I've just taken 10mg of diazepam and it's helped a lot of only I can feel like this. It's taken away my pain, my sensations my racing feeling it's given me back most of my awareness and cognition and my minds cleared up I feel free. I need a medication that can help like this in such away. I've been so so bad today I was literally on the brink of suicide 2 hours ago I can't cope with how bad I feel it's too intense to deal with and I can't think feel rational I have to hide myself the best I can with is near impossible when in such a state.
Sorry if this is in the wrong section I just seem to think this is the most active xx
Thank you - please offer you advice as I'm so so desperate.
---------- Post added at 12:53 ---------- Previous post was at 12:47 ----------
My MOOD has lifted too l feel great 1000 times better than I have all
Day.
Hey Ollie28,
So sorry you'r feeling awful - are you seeing anyone for your anxiety?
I've been fairly anxiety free until the last couple of months or so, but now it's terrible and I often wonder whether there is a drug similar to diazepam that is safe and you can take long term. I had a terrible/crazy breakdown years back where I was pretty convinced I'd killed someone (I had awful OCD/intrusive thoughts at the time - crazy!!). I took a diazepam and within half an hour, it was still there, but I had such clarity and wondered how I'd got myself into such a mess.
The only thing that seemed to help me after I ran out of my week's supply of diazepam was Seroquel. It kind of knocked me out slightly and really helped with the racing thoughts. I took it for 8 years with no problems but read about some pretty serious side effects about a year ago so came off it. It's a very serious/anti-psychotic drug (I took it in v.small doses) - so I'd only speak to your doctor about it as a last resort.
Have you tried CBT?
Hi thanks for taking the time to reply - I was refered for CBT about a year and half ago but after 2 sessions of literally struggling to even understand what I was being asked the therapist decides she had never seen anything like me in her career with such anxiety symptoms she refered me back to the mental health assessment team that then sent me to a high level psychotherapy - after 2 sessions she had never again come across anyone in 15 years that suffered like am so again she couldn't help me and discharged me from her services (NHS)
It's hard to explain what I'm going through it alteres by the minute but it's very cognitive and painful. I don't suffer from panic attacks i actually can't relate to a lot of things people speak of on here Im just going off what I've been told I have despite 2 NHS therapists, 1 private therapist I paid £100ph and seen twice and both wasn't sure if it was anxiety related or I was suffering a neurological illness - so 14 months wait I seen a neurologist I was given a MRI a MRA and a EEG all apparently come back clear apart from sinus issues - now I'm also waiting to see a ENT doctor as I think I have sleep apnea. I have tried numerous medications including setraline, duloxatine, citalopram, venlafaxine, propanalol, and a few other all have done nothing at all.
Now the story as it goes is I diagnosed myself that's how I got where I am today - something triggered one night in my head and body the next day I went the Drs I could barley walk or work out where I was my perception had altered too which makes me feel like this and has altered my cognition, I was told it was down to diet I know that was nonses but I didn't have the intelligence to realise I needed to disagree!! I just walked out, I got worse the pains got worse my cognition become so so bad I couldn't wreckonise my own wife and children or process to think what they look like (still like this) by the end of the week I was mentally and emotionally dead, pains like I've never felt before, still cognition was altered and I was a mess so again I went back the drs. Now I had 4 weeks prior gone through a rough time so it just come to me maybe I have had a breakdown so I went the Drs and said I think I have anxiety - I was given diazepam despite not having any rushing thoughts or panic attacks I took them and they seem to open me back up a little,
After a day of being off them I fell to my hands and knees screaming in pain but it felt like someone was pulling my sanity out of my head I swear I screamed as loud as I could now I'm a 21st 6ft 5 bloke so you could imagine. But honesty the pain/sensation I felt that day was not normal.
Anyway I'm still the same! I'm having severe cognition problems, nerve pains, and it's chronic I never feel like I have all my life which is hard to take I mean perception wise not mood wise I feel like a different person like I've had my soul taken out my body. I feel like I can't connect to my own mind or sanity and I have racing crazy thoughts and feelings I have no control over I have to just sit through it and wait for it to pass, most days my cognition is so so bad my head feels like I've been hit with a sledge hammer and trying to think at all is like grinding two bricks together my brain feels switched off and so so fatigued. Next minute that can suddenly lift I can be pain free and open and intelligent able to connect to my own thoughts and ideas like I have all my life - it don't last more than 10 minutes and it's few and far between. About 3 months ago I was struggling as usual in complete head pain and cognition and awareness problems when it suddenly went and I felt like I did all my life! That lasted 15 minutes then my body just faded away. I've been told it's dissociation so I was sent to see a specialist that deals with this disorder and he told me again in all his career he had never experienced such symtoms and the way it started so sent me away -
That diazepam today was a trial just to see if it done anything with how bad I felt and it did for a bit but then I starred to experience head crushing pain and kneck pains and sickness.
I'm at my wits end I've lost everything go this illness and the worst of all I can't get away from it I have to wake each day and just go with what cognition and power I have. I'm fed up tbh, feel lonely and it's causing me depression now as I have no life anymore as of the way I feel if I do go anywhere it creates pains just thinking to do it then nerve pains and head pains though out my body why trying to do it then I walk away and forget I've done it as it dosnt process and sink in what it I've just done. If I walk around with my wife say just food shopping because of the way my perception is stuck I become mentally fatigued within minutes I start to lose cognition I go weak I have to lean on the trolley to support my body and I get pain through out my body baring in mind why I feel like this my cognition is getting painful and more fatigued by the second. I've collapsed twice, if I carry on without rest I have stroke like episodes where I can't move my legs I can't talk or process thoughts to think to talk it's horrible!!!
I just constantly feel wrong 24/7 and it's all cognitive and nerve related but just keep gettin told its anxiety. So if it is someone help me!!
I have episodes of it just going away I get my cognition back stronger and my body feels fine - it's so frustrating it's not normal is it this???
---------- Post added at 22:49 ---------- Previous post was at 19:57 ----------
Possibly dissociation from completely messed up brain chemicals?? Not dp or dr from high amount of stress more a chronic mangled up of my neuro chemicals?
I'm trying everything I really am I just hope and pray one day they will all fall back in to place. I'm trying all types of supplements for the brain I'm just not getting no where,
Can anyone recommend who I could see to ask such things about the brain chemical question? A neurologist won't be able to help unless it's physical write??
Thanks x
Ollie
Can I ask when did you take the venlafaxine?
What dose?
When did you come off?
Reason I ask is I too have suffered many of your symptoms and still do to an extent. I have been on most ssri meds and duloxitine and propanalol diazepam pregablin etc.
I believe for me, I have messed up my neutrons too much with all the trail and error of these powerful drugs.
My illness initially was quite mild postnatal depression but I was given such strong mind altering drugs I am now in a far worse state than when I started.
Venlafaxine is a very very powerful drug and is generally used as a last resort when all others fail.
However I was put on this drug early on about 15 years ago when my illness was mild and in hindsight just needed some Cbt therapy and emotion support,
When I come off it my mind is not the same. My memory, concentration, cognitive behaviour is impaired.
The last time I came off, after 3mths I couldn't spring a sentence together, slurred my words. Couldn't fasten my dress buttons put a key in a door. I thought I had dementia, mnd and all sorts of other illnesses.
My opinion is sometimes these drugs can when swapped and changed make us much worse. I firmly believe I'm like I am because of the venlafaxine.
Each time I have to go back on 37.5 for the symptoms to go. Most do go.
Look up paws. See if this is what you could be suffering with?
You need to see a psychiatrist in my opinion who will be able to help.
I wish you all the best, and you will get better!!!! Don't give up!
Hello,
Venlafaxine is the newest medication to date for me in on 75mg and have been for about 2 months I think but still not noticing any change in my illness. I believe what your saying with these medications messing up your brain as that's one of my 1 of many explanations possible to why I'm like I am it's just so strong though I honestly don't know how i cope I don't get a break. I wish I was normal and having bad moments but I'm bad bad bad all the time in a way I'm struggling to deal with looking for moments where it lifts a little that's now my life.
Something happened to me the night my brain triggered this illness then I believe the medication which was diazepam made it worse as after taking this all the pains started and extra bad symtoms.
What hope do I have if this is neurological in form and a neurologist can't help me. The neurologist I seen said he thinks it's a complete mess up of brain chemicals - so ok then now what! I'm just left to struggle in a way my wife has had to now leave her 15 year job to become my full time carerer and I've had to give up my 20 year career as a gas engineer. We've lost our home because if this illness and I have no life no more other than battling this everyday that's my life "this" trying to cope with my pains and cognition problems. I often feel like it's nothing to do with anxiety some days I'm just confused and most days I literally feel like I'm losing my mind and that's no figure of speech I literally feel like my brain has a brain of its own and I just have to sit and go through what ever I'm put through.
I have 2 young children they are the only reason I'm still fighting that's how bad I am if I was on my own I would end my suffering as its to much for me to deal with on my own.
I've thought dementia all sorts but it wouldn't alter in the manor it does would it? Like today been 90% solid cognition all day even got to enjoy and watch my little girls gymnastic performance........god I miss them all so much. I honestly am desperate for some form of life back like today. If I can feel like I do today more often ild be happy it's just the fact when I go sleep tonight I don't know how I'm going to feel in the morning.
My personality before this was hard working, positive, proud, strong minded and a fighter no matter what I had so much pride I would fight and give my best in everything. I was a captain of a semi pro football team and I kept fit by boxing and martial arts so I'm no sulker I have fight and determination in me all my brothers and sister are like that but this illness is more than too much now - 2 years chronic I fight that much and feel like I'm not getting better I'm mentally and emotionally tiring myself to the point I feel like I'm just sinking or running underwater and getting no where.
My psychiatrist is very good but I can't see him as often as I want or he wants the next time I do which is the 29th I'm telling him I'm at my last wits end now either someone helps me or il be dead before Christmas as I just can't cope - what's the point if I have no life mentally, perception ally, cognitively or emotionally. I'm just being tortchurd alive powerless to the illness. I now sleep to get away from how I feel it's that bad.
I totally understand how you are feeling.
I paid privately to see 2 Neurolgists.
Had mri of my brain
I was convinced I had a brain tumour, Ms, dementia, lymes disease etc.
I couldn't understand why I felt so.... Ill and disassociated from everyone. It's an awful feeling.
If it wasn't for my daughter I truly don't know if I'd be here.
All I know for sure, I was never ill like this before I started all the meds.
They definitely have a place for some people but when given out to people who don't really need them, I believe they can make us a lot worse.
I paid for a private psychiatrist and he used to see me in my home once a week. If I could turn back time and said no to meds I believe for my personal circumstances I would not be how I am today (gad, panic disorder, social phobia dp Dr)
My psych tells me the brain does eventually go back to normal. But in some instances this can take years.
For me now it is easier just to take a low dose of medicine to keep the worst at bay. I take each day as it comes now. Some days are good and I try to do all I can fit in on these days. The bad days I just write off and accept.
I've read loads about dissiciation and the disorders but I believe there's dissiciation from anxiety hight but also a dissiciation as neurological illness - the neurologist I seen did say my illness isn't anxiety based or depression he thinks they are a result of what I'm experiencing but my psychiatrist who also is a neurologist thinks it's anxiety/trauma/blood flow related I'm just confused as as anyone would become depressed living how we are! Must admit I was a lot worse 2 years ago but still no way near leading any form of life unless I have days like today but these are prob about 2 days in every month on average and still I'm only 70% - 90% - I actually clicked to 100% one night out of no where it was mad! Everything just come back to me and I felt like I have all my life it was like winning the lotto. Managed about 30 mins max feeling like this got to watch Brian cox wonders of the solar system and actually take it in (before my illness i done astronomy as a hobbie 8-) )
The worst thing to accept is being young and seeing all my mates still going out, holidays, football and things seeing everyone getting on with there lives thinking one day that was me!
Regarding the lime disease how do you test for this? I've read similar symtoms that match what I'm going through, I work in customers houses as part of my job mostly big up market houses but some not so nice I thought there was a possibility I was bitten by a tick all sorts of things. My illness started over a couple of days too about 4 - 5 days before I was having episodes of just running out of energey just shutting down literally as quick as you could click your fingers this would happen a couple of times a day why working then I would lift out of it but then the last night it hit hard. It's crazy.
Its horrible I feel like my life's a waste I'm only 31, not bad looking, good career and a kind caring honest person with bundles of pride with a big heart so why does crap things happen to good honest people!!? xx
---------- Post added at 19:46 ---------- Previous post was at 19:45 ----------
(Dissociation) hate iPhone auto spell! 8-)
I was convinced I had lymes disease. If you read up on it so many of our symptoms are similar. Plus I have 2 cats and 1 was being treated for ticks by the vet.
Lymes disease is very hard to diagnose and lots of people have it but don't know it. My Neurolgist did say it would of shown up on my brain scan, and I'm taking his word for it. But there are many stories of people out there convinced they have it and go to great lengths to prove it and sometimes they are right.
It's so hard not knowing 100% what causes it. Is it anxiety? A neurological condition? Our neurotransmitters messed up from ssri drugs? Wish I could answer that one. I think Drs don't always know too. They treat it as depression/anxiety and hand out meds when in doubt.
I too look back at my old self and wonder where that girl has gone. Before meds I was social had lots of friends a good well paid job as a manager in a large organisation and did public speaking. Now I sometimes struggle to get my weekly shopping in at the supermarket and avoid most social situations.
Going away next week on a 2 week cruise and instead of looking forward to it, I'm panicking wondering how I am going to cope. Having to travel with my mum just for that extra security. Awful illness but we will pull through we have no other option, it will get better and just as our brains changed overnight (I physically felt the chemical change in my brain the day it happened). It will correct itself and we will once again be the happy person with the functioning brains that we once had.
I recommend Cbt over drugs any day. Use drugs as a last resort, so wish I just had therapy when I was diagnosed with post natal depression instead of being put on strong mood altering drugs. There was no internet in those days so I just accepted the prescription and did no research on the drugs I was given, just trusted the Drs and swallowed the tablets.
It's funny how you say you felt the change as I did to - my body shuddered like a tremble and I felt a click in my head like a band snapped then my perception instantly changed I felt a million miles away from the room and I couldn't take nothing in as in what I was looking at or seeing it just wasn't registering in to my brain or memory/awareness some sort of disconnection feeling. I was like for a full week literally felt like I was dying i was so mentally fatigued as it felt like and still does that I have to mentally work harder just to be here as in cognitively alive.
I've read loads of different things from sinus problems to Cushing syndrome to fibromyalgia only I haven't got muscle pains. I've lost so much weight on my legs, bum 8-) and my arms but my body has remained the Same which is symtoms of Cushing syndrome but I had my cortisol tested one AM and it was ok, but I did it again Wednesday because I woke up feeling like complete crap.
A holiday would be amazing! I'm in the process of moving property soon and getting everything in to order as soon as its complete I'm having a couple of weeks away. I'm not afraid to do anything alone I don't have anxious fear I just wouldn't trust myself with my cognition. I hope you enjoy your holiday by the sounds of things you deserve it also.
One thing my psychiatrist has taught me is to feel, be aware and track your sensation or feelings when they happen - so instead of being afraid just feel it, track it and see where it leads then notice any movement you do with your hands ect it's your nervous systems way of resetting and reprocessing - as you track your sensations your eyes will flicker back and too this is your nervous system limbic system I think reprocessing and resetting - I think it's called somatic experiencing - it's early days for me but if I would recommend buying Peter Levines "in an unspoken voice" and also Benjamin fry - how I fu**ed up my life and made it mean something" both very good books and a different angle towards anxiety and trauma.
You might already know about all this if not also look for Pat Ogden & Jannina fisher - this is the route I've been going down since I met with my psychiatrist as he believes anxiety can not be treated with medication but somatic experiencing and trauma therapy.
Benjamin frying book is an amazing read -
Ollie28, I hope you're feeling better today. What you're going through sounds awful and naturally very scary. It must be so frustrating having experts giving you different opinions - when you feel so scared and desperate, you reply on these 'specialists' as the answer to your problems. Anxiety can manifest itself into very real physical symptoms, so it could still be just that, albeit very severe. Are you anxious about anything apart from your illness?
I feel very wary giving any comments or advice about medication (and don't want to cause further worry), as things work differently for different people, however, I also had a very, very, bad time with venlafaxine. I didn't feel right on it and after one month decided to come off it - I reduced my dose by just 25% trying to be sensible to wean off and I have never been so physically and psychologically ill in my life. My work had to call a taxi for me because I was behaving so strangely. It took a very long time to come off it and I'd only been taking it for a month. I'm not saying it will do the same to you at all, but I just feel like I had to mention it.
Please say strong - you WILL get better and someone WILL find a way to treat this, be it neurological or anxiety based.
Thanks Ollie I will look into reading those.
Yes mine came on just one day while I was lying on the sofa relaxing watching TV. Was sort of like a mini seizure of sorts. Very hard to explain but left me in a disassociate state. I also had blurred vision, muscle twitches a long brain zap feeling like pins and needles in my head that lasted about 30 seconds,
It was like a chemical explosion or neurotransmitters in my head.
Since that day it comes and goes. Some days ok, others I feel dp/Dr and unable to think straight.
Love to know what caused it, and more importantly how to correct it.
One day hopefully soon, our brains will re-set and all will be normal again. Least you know yours wasn't caused by the ven as yours started before you had even started taking it.
Venlafaxine helps a lot of people, I only wish before Drs dished out these strong drugs they spent a good amount of time explaining how they work, the possible side effects and especially with venlafaxine Drs should explain in detail about the discontinuation effects and how best to taper off.
None of this was explained to me. My GP only told me to expect a dry mouth!!! And nothing about how hard it is to withdraw from
I've felt 95% all day! In a great mood very good cognition and I've done nothing different other than keep stocked up on sugar all day by drinking coke......
Started the day off with the same breakfast boiled eggs brown toast, but then went to our local shop and bought a can of coke as I felt il fuel my body in everyday I can - I felt great, no pains no fatigue no cognition problems - I had another can of coke and something I don't usually eat - sweets! about 2 hours after, and again I have been level all day & great since, the last 20 mins I can feel It starting to happen my eyes go blurry and I start getting prickles in my head and il lose cognition soon then go weak..... This sure is one strange illness!!!
Funny as also i ate loads of carbs before I went bed last night decided to order a late Chinese then as usual before I went bed I take a load of supplements my body can use why In asleep recovering from the day.
I've been tested for diabetic just the standard blood test but to me I've said this all along it feels like my brain and body is not storing or getting enough energy this is why my brain just shuts down and then My body follows.
As if my brain don't have enough energy to work and be intelligent basically. xxxz
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