Should I go back to work?

[ADW]

I was signed off for this week as my anxiety finally got to much and I went back to my gp as I had been having panic attacks and constant high levels of anxiety all weekend and I couldn't go to work because i was in such a state. GP started me on citalopram and some diazepam but trying not to take the diazepam too much.

All week I've felt really horrible, still anxious all the time and geting waves of panic attacks and racing thoughts. I've also had no appetite and nausea, I think it might be due to the citalopram but I'm sticking with it. I've been getting only a few hours sleep a night and feeling generally awful with no energy. I'm due in work on Monday and I work as a nurse on a busy ward. I'm worried I'm not going to be able to cope with going back just yet in the state I'm in. I feel really guilty and weak for feeling like I can't go back. I would take diazepam before I go in but it makes me feel not very 'with it/unsteady' so I can't drive with it and I think it might affect my work. I just don't know what to do and I've spent the whole.day worrying about it.

[Oosh]

Don't beat yourself up over it, it's hard. Lots of people can relate.

You've got a week on the medication under your belt now so I'm sure it won't be long before it starts to calm down your symptoms. Of course as it gets into your system it may feel a bit unpleasant but it will pass.

Do you have people at work who understand who can help you for the next week or so before the medication starts to help you ?

[ADW]

No, none of my colleagues at work know and I don't want them to because I don't want to be judged. Only my manager knows and she's not in tomorrow. The thing is its so busy it's every nurse for themselves. Literally nobody has time to support me because they all have their own patients. It's literally non stop all day and right now I can't even walk the dog for half an hour without feeling rubbish.

[Soulcatcher71]

You'll have to judge this one yourself ADW, but at least make sure the medication has taken effect first.

I know that in my case, after a long period of being off work (5 weeks), going back to work actually made things better, probably because my mind had fallen into a daily rut, and the change of routine triggered a new mindset.

Hope that helps a little.

[ADW]

Thanks, I'm going to go back to the Dr's tomorrow to discuss how I've been this week, I've let work know I won't be in. I just don't think i'm ready to go back yet but this week I'm going to try really hard to get myself feeling better. Try and get out a bit more for walks etc eat better and more. Try and regain some control over my life. ��

---------- Post added at 12:09 ---------- Previous post was at 12:08 ----------

The medication definitly hasn't taken effect yet (I've only taken in for a week) my.partner says I've been.worse this week than last week before going to the gp and I have to agree.

[Soulcatcher71]

One more thing I found - no matter how determined I was during the week to finally go back on the Monday, come Sunday it was a different story - then it was anxiety controlling my thought process. That one you have to ride through with steadfast determination :)

[Oosh]

You've made a decision, that's good. Sometimes it's important just to make a decision to stop it hanging over you. Now you can relax and use this week trying to build a more stable mood. Some walks and healthy, low gi foods sounds like a great idea.

[sial72]

Don't feel guilty! If you had broken a foot you wouldn't rush back to work, you would go back when you are better. The same for the mind, give it a chance to heal and go back when you are ready.
If you put too much pressure on yourself and add a pinch of guilt to that you will just be making yourself more nervous.
Take one day at a time x