New here & looking for like-minded people to talk to

[Cherrytree12]

Hello everyone,

I am new to this forum and am really looking for people to discuss my problems with. I have suffered from anxiety since my teens (now 27) and it has come in different levels throughout the years. I have always tried to stay away from meds where I can and just try to cope and for a few years, I wasn't too bad at all. However, recently it's come back with a vengeance and I feel hopeless. I don't want to go to the doctors because one of two things will happen, they will either treat my like a hypochondriac and ignore me or they will try to pump me full of drugs which from experience can cause more problems than they are worth. I started taking St John's Wort a few weeks back following a recommendation from a friend and I really did feel like they were helping me. It may be placebo as I have read varying reviews online about it but my stomach wasn't in such a big knot and I generally just felt a bit more relaxed and not worrying so much. I still don't want to become reliant on them so this weekend I didn't take any as I am generally less anxious when I'm not working so thought I would give it a try. Saturday I was OK but last night I woke up sweating and freaking out. My head seemed to have a million different dark thoughts going through it but I couldn't make out exactly what any of them were. I just had an intense feeling of dread and fear. I lay awake for some time wanting to cry and in the end, went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face and then put a movie on to try and focus my mind on something else. I think I drifted off within an hour but woke again in the same state four more times and today I feel so tired and wretched. I took St John's wort again this morning and I do feel a little better but I don't want to be taking tablets for the rest of my life. I don't really have any close friends that I can talk to about this other than the few that know I suffer from anxiety but they don't really understand so it's not worth speaking to them. I have a wonderful boyfriend who I can talk to about it but most of the time I don't because I don't want him to think I'm as crazy as I seem in my own head and if I told him everytime I was feeling anxious, I don't think I'd ever talk about anything else at the moment.
I sometimes drink wine as it helps me at the time of drinking it but the next morning, the anxiety is in overdrive so I am seriously trying to cut it out altogether.
I'm sorry if i have gone on too much for an introduction post but I just started typing and it kept coming so i went with it. If anyone could offer me any advice or just someone who will talk to me about it. I will do my best to help others where I can too.
Thank you x

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Cherrytree12 and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[lindy lou 2]

Hi Cherrytree, and welcome. I have been suffering intense anxiety for 3 years, I am unfortunately on too many meds, trying to cut down on 3 at the same time, I wish I had never gone on them, but too late now, & nothing seems to calm me down except a drink. I only drink Carling lager, & no more than 3 a night, I wish I could manage without, but it is the only thing that calms me. I could never become alcoholic, could not stand the hangover , Lol. But too much alcohol does cause more anxiety.
I hope you get lots of support on here, it does help, I have to try to hide my anxiety with everybody, they get fed up of hearing about it, so vent on here, where we all understand.
Take care
Lindy.

[Cherrytree12]

Thank you for your reply Lindy. It's nice to hear that I'm not the only one who needs a drink to calm me down. I don't drink every night because it could easily become a big problem for me. When I drink a couple of glasses of wine, I just feel so much better than it usually lead to having the whole bottle and then obviously I wake up feeling groggy and much more anxious because I'm petrified about what it's doing to my body and about what people would think if they knew how often I can polish off a whole bottle. But then on those nights that I don't drink I sit there in a state because I haven't had the thing that calms me down. Talk about catch 22!
You are right though, I think this will be a good place to vent and talk to people who know what you're going through as it's so difficult to talk to people who don't understand because it's so difficult to explain. And so very frustrating when they ask 'why' you are the way you are. I don't know! I just am and it's bloody horrible.
I'm sorry to hear you are having trouble getting off the meds. You say you wish you had never started them and that's why I really don't want to go to the doctors. That place makes me about 100x more anxious than normal anyway and I just know they will try to prescribe me something. I am sure they would help me but I just want to be 'normal' (whatever that is) without taking anything but I suppose my wine habit is practically the same thing =(

Thanks again for your reply =) and I hope the weaning goes well xx

[lindy lou 2]

Hi Cherrytree, don't worry too much about the wine, you are obviously aware about not over doing it, I am on my 2nd can of lager, it has been a rather lonely stressed out day, but my husband is home now, so only one more !
Feel free to pm me if you like, click on my name & it will give you the option.
Chin up, easier said than done I know !
Linda x.:yesyes: