I'm on the verge of total mental breakdown!!

[Petesy]

I can't take this anymore... Everyday i have 4 to 5 panic attacks a day.... And the negative thoughts are having a hammering blow on my social life which is near non -existent... 14 years of this shit!! Please someone tell me this gets better..because my family start to loose patience with me! .. I'm in the room typing this out away from my fiancee who has MS so she doesn't see me in a mess!!

She has just said to me to be positive and burst out of the bubble I'm in.. I love her so much.. And care for her dearly.. But can't help feeling like I'm going nowhere and my fiancee has MS and is telling me to breathe and let it go. Now i feel Guilty.. Shame... Like a coward because i should be consoling her as i have on many occasions.. I don't like her seeing me like this!!! :wall:

[Hypo84]

Did you go to therapist? You probably need to take some medication...

[Anna1707]

You need to stop and help youself. Go see a therapist and start from there.

[GingerFish]

Sorry to hear you feel this way. I know exactly how you feel. I've had anxiety, panic attacks and depression on and off for 5 years with panic attacks being my biggest problem. I am just out of a bad setback that occurred after my papa went into hospital and I honestly couldn't cope. I experienced panic attacks that I had never felt before. I had a few in the past were I thought I was dying but nothing compared to these ones. I was nearly calling an ambulance 10 times a day because of them, luckily my bf managed to talk me down. I also felt very spacey and disconnected all of the time.

It does get better, that I can promise you. What helped me was taking baby steps. Everything terrified me. Even sitting in my livingroom scared me. I sat alone in the bedroom all day hiding from my bf even though I had no reason to. I just didn't him to see me like this. I found that spending more time in the livingroom a day helped and then I built up went outside again, at first just to the bins, then a 5 min walk around the block etc. You feel kind of stupid for doing little steps like that but tbh, they really help and you build up before you know it.

I would deffo recommend talking to your GP. If you struggle to go out, you can request a home visit. Waiting lists for therapy are long on NHS but its a good start and there might be local anxiety support groups in your area too.