At last a life!

[worrywart29]

I'm reading this book on anxiety named at last a life and Just read an excerpt that made a lot of sense. Just thought I'll share.

Let me explain by going back to that statement: “You will not get better until you stop trying to get better”. What does it mean? Well, let’s say that someone came to me and said "Paul , I have these strange feelings all day, like pins and needles, and I can't concentrate. I feel unreal and I just don't know what to do. I feel anxious all day. What should I do? " The answer is "Nothing" “Nothing?”“Yes, nothing. Just allow yourself to feel like this. By doing nothing you will give your exhausted mind and nerves a rest and a chance to heal”. "But surely I should fight it”, you say. “I must get the better of this thing". “Okay, go ahead then, but you have been doing this for years and it has not helped”. "What do you mean then?"

“I mean you can't control your body. Your nerves and mind are tired of you running around trying to find answers, worrying and obsessing about how you are feeling. You are just keeping yourself ill by adding fear and worry." Let me ask you a question. “When you break your leg, what do you do?” "Erm, well, it goes in a pot and I rest it and let it heal". "Well, why on earth don't you do that with your nerves then? You don't say, ‘my leg hurts, I must stop it hurting’ and then start running around in your mind every day trying to think of ways you can stop it hurting and tensing against the pain.”

So far this is a good read. I heard from a lot of people that this book literally changed their life. Hopefully it does the same for me.

[tmckenzie-orr]

intresting

[Soulcatcher71]

Its easy for people to say 'don't think about it, just let it carry on .. etc' - but you'll know as well as I, that when its actually happening to you, it's almost impossible not to think about it, and not to let it control the situation.

Not quite sure how I feel about this type of 'advice'. Its true that ultimately the cure is to not even give these ideas a second thought, to the point where they aren't part of our habitual thought pattern any more. But advice like this doesn't do you justice when you are in the thick of it.
My opinion anyway.

[MyNameIsTerry]

It's a "passive" strategy and one that can be seen in Dr Claire Weekes principles too and many other products out there. Some seem to find it works for them, others don't.

CBT will teach you similiar things except it will also teach you how to challenge negative thoughts and maladjusted behaviours. The latter doesn't change by a passive strategy alone but by changing your reaction to be an accepting one, you can reduce it or neutralise it but it doesn't mean you won't find yourself affected by other things so it may depend on which anxiety disorder you have because this type of strategy is less useful in things like OCD (like I have).

Mindfulness teaches similiar concepts with acceptance being one of the 8 principles (and it comes from something thats been around for thousands of years and has clinical studies to show it works now) but rather than tell you to accept, it takes you through a series of progressive exercises aimed at showing you how to do it and can be seen activating the required parts of the brain to do that and not using the fear centres at the same time.

Both of the above take plenty of time to learn to the point of feeling it though, just like the more passive acceptance-based approaches which seen to be what is said in the above excerpt. Of course, its more about changing that healing as proven in neuroplasticity but many of the acceptance principles were pre-this. I think you have to be careful in forcing yourself not to think about things, there are studies showing that it makes it worse which makes sense since you are making your brain try to forget something as opposed to allowing it to disappear naturally so there has to be a way of not doing it like that for this too be effective.

[worrywart29]

Its easy for people to say 'don't think about it, just let it carry on .. etc' - but you'll know as well as I, that when its actually happening to you, it's almost impossible not to think about it, and not to let it control the situation.

Not quite sure how I feel about this type of 'advice'. Its true that ultimately the cure is to not even give these ideas a second thought, to the point where they aren't part of our habitual thought pattern any more. But advice like this doesn't do you justice when you are in the thick of it.
My opinion anyway.

I agree its much easier said than done, but keep in mind that this is just an excerpt. He goes in to details which show how to go over anxiety and basically its by accepting it and allowing yourself to be uncomfortable. Even though I read the book I'm still no closer to beating anxiety than I was before reading it but I hope to one day implement his method its very logical.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I agree its much easier said than done, but keep in mind that this is just an excerpt. He goes in to details which show how to go over anxiety and basically its by accepting it and allowing yourself to be uncomfortable. Even though I read the book I'm still no closer to beating anxiety than I was before reading it but I hope to one day implement his method its very logical.

Acceptance of symptoms is a very hard thing to learn. Do what you can and give it time. If its doesn't seem to be coming to you, there are forms of therapy that incorporate it which might give you the entra pointers you need.

I could never master it from sources like this, although there are people than can & do, so I went more the Mindfulness route which worked better for me as I had to perform guided exercises to show me how it felt.

Good luck.

[swajj]

Yes it has Claire Weekes written all over it. I was greatly helped by her books. Acceptance worked for me up to a point. I could never get the hang of floating though.

[Hypo84]

This part of the book is so far my favorite and I truly believe this is the right way to approach anxiety :

"Just live your life and don't let anxiety make your decisions for you. Don't let it stop you from having a life."

Point is, you can feel afraid, even petrified, it's okay, just continue your day like you would if you were feeling fine...if you were supposed to go to gym today then go no matter how scared of some disease you feel, or if you have some work to do in the house or outside, do it...you won't be doing your workout or that work as efficiently as if you are feeling great, but it's okay. Some days you will feel better, some days worse, but if you don't allow your anxiety to control what you are doing, you'll get better.

[MrAndy]

I read that book 3 or 4 times it helped me enormously ,I put the theory into practice and so far it has worked for me.It doesnt happen overnight and takes a lot of patience and hard work but it does work long term

[worrywart29]

Ive been putting some of his tips into my day to day and I must say it's helping. Just yesterday I started getting some chest discomfort and im always worrying about heart attacks, usually i would start panicking but instead I keep saying to myself its Just anxiety and I have nothing to fear I had this pain before and all was OK and it will be OK this time as well. I was completely shocked when after no more than a minute the discomfort went away. When I use to get those pains it went on for hours and I would end up in full panic mode. It really showed me how retraining our way of thinking is so important.

[rsanchez]

I definitely agree that it can be hard to let it go in the moment. One thing to help with that is to practice letting go when you are not feeling particularly anxious. When you're not too anxious, sit down and notice your body and how it feels. Accept any feelings and sensations as just how your body is and don't try to fix them or change them, just let them go.

The more you practice mindfulness, the easier it is to apply it in any situation.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I definitely agree that it can be hard to let it go in the moment. One thing to help with that is to practice letting go when you are not feeling particularly anxious. When you're not too anxious, sit down and notice your body and how it feels. Accept any feelings and sensations as just how your body is and don't try to fix them or change them, just let them go.

The more you practice mindfulness, the easier it is to apply it in any situation.

Yeah, thats a good idea.

There is a therapy called Applied Relaxation and that teaches you how to relax your body and then starts to get you applying it in vivo. I think its really hard when your anxiety is 24/7 non stop as you can't feel relaxed at all but if you do have better periods, use them for things like this as it will make it easier to learn.

Even if you can't get physical symptoms to fade, you will find yourself able to deal with thoughts in a more mindful way.

[Emmapony]

I've read this book too! Really interesting read but I do agree it is quite hard to put into practise. I think with a lot of time and patience the strategies will help me.