Zim
18-07-15, 15:43
Hi there, NoMorePanic members. :D
Hope you're all doing well.
I'm in quite a dark place at the moment and just thought I might introduce myself to you fellow health anxiety sufferers, sharing my personal symptoms.
A quick warning though - if you're susceptible to influence in regards to symptoms, do not continue to read. I do not wish my current symptoms upon anybody.
I had originally written many paragraphs for this post, but I realised that many people will not have the time to read a lengthy post so I will save this for later and keep it concise today. Feel free to skip through. :yesyes:
Anyway, I finished University in May of this year and have been stressed out for the better part of 2 years. This final year was extremely demanding and accompanied with my 'perfectionist' mindset and general anxiety, I managed to push and surpass my mental limits despite running on fumes for an entire year, attaining a first class Honours degree (Found out a week ago). Yay! :yahoo:
This came at a cost though, mentally and physically. Panic attacks relating to the workload developed into bowel habit changes, in turn convincing me that I had bowel cancer or intestinal parasites (I was checking my stool daily, believing I could see blood and abnormalities). After having a flexible sigmoidoscopy (not a pleasant experience), it seems that IBS is the diagnosis.
In the same period, I noticed after looking in the mirror that my eyes were bloodshot and became convinced that there was something now wrong with my eyes. This triggered a chain-reaction of symptoms leading to severe health anxiety. A few days later, I got up one morning and noticed that I had hundreds of floating specks and strands in my vision. I went to the optician that very day and was informed that my eyes were fine and that I had eye 'floaters'. If I focus on them, they look like translucent worms made up of cells. I was told to relax and my brain would start to notice them less. But the thing is, I couldn't relax. I was totally incapable of doing so.
I then noticed what is referred to as the 'Blue Field Entoptic Phenomenon'. This is where your eyes have nothing to focus on and you see the white blood cells moving around the blood vessels in your own eye. This is usually only visible when looking at clear, blue skies but after my brain has 'tuned' into them, I now see them on blank surfaces indoors.
Soon after this, I noticed that my night vision (which was very good) was suddenly terrible and that I see 'TV-like', grainy static in the darkness. After making this discovery, I then realised that the static vision is actually 24/7 (even with my eyes closed, I see the static and odd colours) although it is more subtle in daylight. Blank walls look like they are made up of thousands of tiny multicoloured pixels. Patterns on walls and carpets look like they are vibrating and warping. Straight edges on objects also seem to shimmer.
I'm not sure whether I've always seen like this and my heightened sense of awareness has lead me to notice it or that it is simply my anxiety and high levels of adrenaline from months and months of fear. I hope my symptoms will lessen as I manage to calm down. It's as though my brain is 'tuning' into things that under normal circumstances, it would 'tune out'.
Anyway, Im determined to beat this Living Hell and I'm battling on. I've started a course of 'Sertraline' antidepressants, started reading books on health anxiety, begun going to the gym 3 times a week and I have also secured myself a place on the waiting list for CBT sessions.
Hopefully we can all beat this. Good luck everybody and I look forward to advising some of you fellow sufferers in the future. :winks:
Hope you're all doing well.
I'm in quite a dark place at the moment and just thought I might introduce myself to you fellow health anxiety sufferers, sharing my personal symptoms.
A quick warning though - if you're susceptible to influence in regards to symptoms, do not continue to read. I do not wish my current symptoms upon anybody.
I had originally written many paragraphs for this post, but I realised that many people will not have the time to read a lengthy post so I will save this for later and keep it concise today. Feel free to skip through. :yesyes:
Anyway, I finished University in May of this year and have been stressed out for the better part of 2 years. This final year was extremely demanding and accompanied with my 'perfectionist' mindset and general anxiety, I managed to push and surpass my mental limits despite running on fumes for an entire year, attaining a first class Honours degree (Found out a week ago). Yay! :yahoo:
This came at a cost though, mentally and physically. Panic attacks relating to the workload developed into bowel habit changes, in turn convincing me that I had bowel cancer or intestinal parasites (I was checking my stool daily, believing I could see blood and abnormalities). After having a flexible sigmoidoscopy (not a pleasant experience), it seems that IBS is the diagnosis.
In the same period, I noticed after looking in the mirror that my eyes were bloodshot and became convinced that there was something now wrong with my eyes. This triggered a chain-reaction of symptoms leading to severe health anxiety. A few days later, I got up one morning and noticed that I had hundreds of floating specks and strands in my vision. I went to the optician that very day and was informed that my eyes were fine and that I had eye 'floaters'. If I focus on them, they look like translucent worms made up of cells. I was told to relax and my brain would start to notice them less. But the thing is, I couldn't relax. I was totally incapable of doing so.
I then noticed what is referred to as the 'Blue Field Entoptic Phenomenon'. This is where your eyes have nothing to focus on and you see the white blood cells moving around the blood vessels in your own eye. This is usually only visible when looking at clear, blue skies but after my brain has 'tuned' into them, I now see them on blank surfaces indoors.
Soon after this, I noticed that my night vision (which was very good) was suddenly terrible and that I see 'TV-like', grainy static in the darkness. After making this discovery, I then realised that the static vision is actually 24/7 (even with my eyes closed, I see the static and odd colours) although it is more subtle in daylight. Blank walls look like they are made up of thousands of tiny multicoloured pixels. Patterns on walls and carpets look like they are vibrating and warping. Straight edges on objects also seem to shimmer.
I'm not sure whether I've always seen like this and my heightened sense of awareness has lead me to notice it or that it is simply my anxiety and high levels of adrenaline from months and months of fear. I hope my symptoms will lessen as I manage to calm down. It's as though my brain is 'tuning' into things that under normal circumstances, it would 'tune out'.
Anyway, Im determined to beat this Living Hell and I'm battling on. I've started a course of 'Sertraline' antidepressants, started reading books on health anxiety, begun going to the gym 3 times a week and I have also secured myself a place on the waiting list for CBT sessions.
Hopefully we can all beat this. Good luck everybody and I look forward to advising some of you fellow sufferers in the future. :winks: