I really need help.. :(

[SadguyFL]

I am a 40 year old white hispanic male in the U.S. For the past 18 years I have had GERD and IBS. I currently take Elavil for IBS and Prevacid for GERD. I also take Toprol and Lisinopril for hypertension. Less than two years ago I went back to my gastro doctor for upper abdominal pain. He did an upper GI (over my lifetime I've had several done - only showing gastritis and esophagitis) and he also did an abdominal ultrasound. The only anomaly was sludge in my gallbladder. I should also mention that I suffer from generalized anxiety/health anxiety and use xanax as needed. I have been preoccupied with the thought of having pancreatic cancer mostly (or gastric cancer). I have been experiencing epigastric pain, fullness, nausea and went back to my gastro doc. He said that it is most likely biliary sludge or possibly my hiatal hernia. He said if it would make me feel better he would redo the abdominal ultrasound but he wasn't concerned about anything. I can't seem to get it out of my head. I am afraid I will die of pancreatic cancer and leave my family without a dad, son or brother. I can't eat or sleep. I feel like giving up. Need to talk to someone.

[Gary A]

Hello.

You have my sympathies, that sounds like it really sucks.

By way of reassurance, I can tell you that cancer is a pretty unlikely explanation of these symptoms, especially since you've had such an active history of gastrointestinal problems and conditions. It's most likely just a flare up or secondary symptom of an already existing condition.

You admit yourself you suffer from GAD, and with that being the case, fearing the worst in any given situation is a primary symptom of that condition. I think you'll be fine, try not to let your anxiety run away with itself, get yourself checked and hopefully that can give you some peace of mind.

[lyndau63]

I agree with Gary. It is good that your doctor is prepared to help you and not just dismiss your fears but I really think he is just re-doing the tests to reassure you as he says he is not concerned.

[SadguyFL]

You are all very kind. I just don't know how to deal with this anxiety. I'm nauseous all the time and it feeds my anxiety. I just feel like giving up. I won't be able to be with my family and see them grow up. Nobody here understands me.

[tmckenzie-orr]

its very horrible when the fear takes over and you worry and all you can think of is leaving your lovely family behind and never seing them again which is the most scarist of thoughts, And our anxiety plays on that, You need to tell yourself if the specialist wasnt worried you shouldnt be, They deal with 100s of people like yourself some which really do have it they know what to look for and if they was worried they would have it deeply looked into, u need to try snap out of this worry moment you are fine , Dont let your fears take over i know easier said than done, But if a dr says your fine then 98% of the time you are fine hope your anxiety improves and try not to worry yourself

[SadguyFL]

I've been crying all morning. A 40 year old man. I go in the bathroom so no one sees me. I can't do this anymore. I'm on the edge of jumping over.

[tmckenzie-orr]

U need to get a grip and get some help cbt or something, you will end up becoming a shell and then ur be useless to ur family, If u love your family then be stronger and stop these thoughts u are livign as if u are ill but u havent been told you are So its pointless worrying as if u have been told u have cancer, but u havent u been told ur ok And yet ur still worrying tell ur self thatr over and over and over

[Richard1960]

I've been crying all morning. A 40 year old man. I go in the bathroom so no one sees me. I can't do this anymore. I'm on the edge of jumping over.

You need to get some help now either an emergency phone line or helpline to talk to sombody,you do not have anything physical by the looks of it so you will need to get to the bottom of why you feel like you do.

If i was you get help now not sure if you have anybody like we do here the Samaritans for example who are there for people in desperate times or another version.

You may even need more medical intervention but please for you and your families sake get it.

[SadguyFL]

Thank you all for your comments. I'm going to get help.

[SadguyFL]

I made the first step yesterday and saw a psychiatrist who was amazed that I have been feeling this way for 18 years. We addressed my anxiety, hypochondria and mild depression. My heart was pounding but I did it. I was started on a low dose of Lexapro and I will also be working with a therapist for talk therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy. I can't believe I actually did it.

[tmckenzie-orr]

good job thats it step by step things will get better i have started cbt too, positive thoughts buddy

[lyndau63]

That's great. Well done. have been away so only just read your recent posts.

Good luck.