looking4answers
04-02-07, 03:15
I have been having a few good days lately but we go to bed late..By that time im just exhausted.I constantly hear my heartbeat sounding as if its going to just give out and when I lay my head down,I feel as though im floating and then wonder if ill wake.We have be workmen out early every morning and they are always beating on the door asking things.I will go back and lay down and as soon as i get sound asleep they do it again.I have pretty much gotten used to this but im starting to hear my heartbeat heavy in my ears again.I suppose its beating ok but I don't feel like it is.Today was one of those such days workmen came and woke me several times as I tried to drift back off and then finally they left for awhile and the couple that lives down behind us came by to visit.
As I sat there I heard my heart pounding in my ears but tried to ignore it.She is a nurse but I refuse to ask her about it.She thinks in ok.They left and when they did i was really sick to my stomach and just felt weird .I don't know if perhaps I just havent had enough sleep or maybe to much coffee I tend to drink this when they are here or just hadnt had much to eat.I ate a little and laid down to a med and went to sleep all the time feeling strange and hearing my heartbeat .I had feelings of like what they describe when you have a stroke.I got scared and wasnt sure but my wife said we always felt like this when i didnt get enough sleep .this was mid afternoon .I laid down to wake up dark and a feeling my heart wasnt beating correctly .
I never know whether its beating correctly or im just hearing it wrong or what.This waking at night gives me the creeps already and im having bad dreams on top of that.I worry so much that the doctors didnt find something that is going on with me and its getttng worse but yet it seems i dont get out of breath and no real symptoms other than the pulse beating strangely in my ears..I want so much for this sound to go away but I don't think it will ever I feel so sad wondering if they were wrong and there is something wrong with me or there is nothing wrong and im just losing my mind.Lately things just don't seem to be normal with my thoughts ,I try God knows I try so very hard and its like a nightmare that never ends. I wont to be ok but so scared there is really something wrong with me yet everyday I seem to make it through another day and take care of things,then get so tired and sleep to start another day of being afraid.Is there anyone else out there that remotely feels this way too..?
PRAYER FOR FREEDOM FROM SUFFERING
May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending each other.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.
As I sat there I heard my heart pounding in my ears but tried to ignore it.She is a nurse but I refuse to ask her about it.She thinks in ok.They left and when they did i was really sick to my stomach and just felt weird .I don't know if perhaps I just havent had enough sleep or maybe to much coffee I tend to drink this when they are here or just hadnt had much to eat.I ate a little and laid down to a med and went to sleep all the time feeling strange and hearing my heartbeat .I had feelings of like what they describe when you have a stroke.I got scared and wasnt sure but my wife said we always felt like this when i didnt get enough sleep .this was mid afternoon .I laid down to wake up dark and a feeling my heart wasnt beating correctly .
I never know whether its beating correctly or im just hearing it wrong or what.This waking at night gives me the creeps already and im having bad dreams on top of that.I worry so much that the doctors didnt find something that is going on with me and its getttng worse but yet it seems i dont get out of breath and no real symptoms other than the pulse beating strangely in my ears..I want so much for this sound to go away but I don't think it will ever I feel so sad wondering if they were wrong and there is something wrong with me or there is nothing wrong and im just losing my mind.Lately things just don't seem to be normal with my thoughts ,I try God knows I try so very hard and its like a nightmare that never ends. I wont to be ok but so scared there is really something wrong with me yet everyday I seem to make it through another day and take care of things,then get so tired and sleep to start another day of being afraid.Is there anyone else out there that remotely feels this way too..?
PRAYER FOR FREEDOM FROM SUFFERING
May all beings everywhere plagued
with sufferings of body and mind
quickly be freed from their illnesses.
May those frightened cease to be afraid,
and may those bound be free.
May the powerless find power,
and may people think of befriending each other.
May those who find themselves in trackless, fearful wilderness--
the children, the aged, the unprotected--
be guarded by beneficent celestials,
and may they swiftly attain Buddhahood.