View Full Version : having my daughter for 7 days
Hi guys.My daughter came over last sunday and is ataying untill this sat evening...so far we have done so much each day and still have things planed for the next few days..my problem is,as much as i love her to death,my anxiety/depression is getting in the way.eaxh morning i wake up i feel low and flat.i seem to be ok when we are out doing stuff but have my moments through the day..my daughter demands attention all day and night so there is no real rest for me,which is hard work.plus she wont sleep on her own,so im having to sleep on a blow up bed in the front room with her,which isnt helping as im not getting any sleep..today i feel drained and worn out but still have a few more days left to go,plus my chest is really bad now days because of my smoking.so through the day and esp at night my chest realy wheezes and stops me falling to sleep,this depreses me more as im unable to give up smoking so feel realy traped..
Greg its great news you are seeing more of your daughter even though its tiring,my 4 year old runs circles round me and its exhausting !
I cant advise on the smoking it sounds like hard work trying to give it up
Hi andy..yes she runs rings round me to mate,she also has autisum/turretts/adhd....all three,so she has many isues going on.when she goes sat it will feel very empty hear for me after having her for so long..the longest iv had her yet...as for the smoking,i realy need to give up,but the bordom in my life makes it so dam hard....hows things with you andy ?
I am not to bad ,work is hard with the pressure but i seem to get by every day,like you I wish my anxiety would go away forever but it seems to linger on
I try to look back at where I was last year and to be honest I do see big improvements in my mental health since a year ago.
I am applying for jobs at the moment as I feel I need to move on from the company I work for
Oh thats good to hear Andy,sounds very possitive mate..it must be nice to be able to look back and see the improvements you have made.a new job is possitive mate,good luck with that
cherish the time with your daughter greg because they grow up so fast its scary
Yea tell me about it Andy..i cant believe she is 13 years old already.seems like only yesterday i was watching her open her birthday pressants when she was 5..
I was thinking of you Greg and it's good that you are having quality time with your daughter, even if it is draining think of the positives, you are doing it, looking after her, going out with her.This in turn may increase your confidence.
Now you won't like this, so block your ears lol.
I kept saying I would give up smoking but never did as I actually enjoyed it but without warning I had a heart attack 6 months ago and it scared the shite out of me and I can honestly say I haven't even thought about smoking since.I have gained a few pounds but honestly it really was for the best and even food tastes better now.
It's your choice and no one else can make that decision for you.
Hi Greg:D
Enjoy every moment with your beautiful daughter.
Love Petra :hugs:
Thanks petra i am..we have done so much since she was droped of last sunday and still have a few more days to go now...allready been to three resurants ,twice to the cinema.bus trip to watford ,yesterday swimming.gave her 50pounds spending money,got her a pair of nike trainers,played games at home.today into town and a resturant latter again.then tom ice skating and mcds.thrn sat out for last day together..she come into my bedroom today crying,saying she didnt want to go home sat..broke my heart
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Jesus Ricardo..sorry to hear that..that must have been scarry very..hope your ok now..my friend had a heart attack 5 months ago and just last month had a tripple heart bypass..he hasnt had a smoke since..even tho i onow this,it hasnt made me give up,but i know i have to because my chest is so bad and my daughter keeps saying,she dsnt want me to die from smoking,but still i cant do it....like you ,i enjoy it to much,esp with a pint....hopefuly one day ill have the strengh to give it up before its to late
hows the tapering off your meds going greg ?
Andy..well im feeling a bit more anxious than norm and my sleep isnt very good.taking me a long time to fall asleep and im not sleeping many hrs..its been worse this week because im having to sleep on a blow up bed,and having my daughter hear is breaking my nightime routen ..im hoping when she goes home sat,that i can get back to my norm routen and things will be easer for me.
yes when your back in your own bed you should settle again
Thats what im hoping andy...off to town now then out for a curry latter..ice skating tomorow then a mcds.then im broke..lol..was well worth it tho
Hi just read this and I wanted to say that you can give up smoking. With an ecigarette :) I went from 30 a day to none using mine. Thing is, you have to have a few batteries, and a spare top, and have a bottle of liquid handy, cos if your ecig runs out of charge you need to be able to have a back up to stop you running to the shop for 20 smokes. It's much cheaper; God knows if it's healthier lol, but surely it has to be. Start off with the tobacco flavour 24mg nicotine and work your way down to 18mg (next one down). I actually just threw my ecig away the other day after a panic attack but I've been on it for over a year and I loved it.
Pepperpot.hi...i gave up for 10 years uptill 2 years ago when i split up with my wife.i lost my home and kids and ended up homeless for a few months.lost my job and had to move to a different town..so ended up smoking again..the last time i gave up was easy because i was happy and with wife and family etc.so not much stress in my life..this time round im out of a job etc etc.and have to much time on my hands so the bordom gets the better of me.iv tried the ellectric things and didnt get on with them,so im waitimg for a time i feel less anxious and in a better place to have the strengh to give it up as before
Maybe the therapists will be able to help you get to that better place, Greg? Also for your daughter's sake-she must be very anxious seeing you smoking and wheezing?
Yes my daughter keeps saying,your going to die dad because you smoke,i have to keep reasuring her im ok,but does play on my mind tho,esp as im wheezing all the time..
get a vapouriser ( e-cig ) ive quit very easily ..... there only one chemical thats nicotine, ive coughed up all the rubbish and managed sleep fine as ive had nicotine still, people saying there worst then smoking is cigarettes company scientist as there loosing so much money though it i save around 2,000 pound a year, i dont cough wheeze and can breath when i wake up and bonus dont smell like a walking cigarette anymore my skin better and my anxiety lowered massively !
There are so many e cigeretes out there..i wouldnt know where to get one..how much are they nowadays
ive got a really good set up cost £35 for the ecig but the amount of vape you get it the same as a cigeratte, battery last a good time and turn it upto 14 watts, i got a few flavours some i really like and they cost between £3 to £5 pounds but can last over a week ! deffo worth a try if your interested inbox me and ill send you the right way, done me a world of wonders and i only smoked 10 years even that had a big impact on my body
Greg
Another alternative are nicotine patches which I was given the first day I was in hospital. They come in 3 strengths depending how many you smoke a day. The NHS provided me with a prescription for a 12 week course and that really helped me.I don't know if you would have to pay for them or not.Usually a script would have 3 packets, in other words 21 patches which you wear for 16 hours a day.it might be worth asking your GP or the dedicated nurse in your surgery.
Ahh I see Greg, you have to be in the right frame of mind to quit, I can totally relate cos I was the same (without the stress you had bless you).
Hi Greg,##I hope it all went well with your daughter.
I too am a smoker and have tried various methods to give up BUT like you you have to be in the right mind set to do it. As for e cigs they sent my anxiety through the roof!!!
The mouth spray is the best method for me. So I have some ready for when my mind tells me that its time to try again.
Don't beat yourself up over it as it will make your anxiety worse. When my family nag me about my smoking the first thing I want to do is reach for a fag:D
Sarah
Thanks guys for all the advice.realy apreciate it....well i might go down the patches and spray root,i did give up a few months ago and lasted 4 days,and the funny thing is,on day three i felt really good and actually felt relaxed and happy about life..it was if my anxiety was lifted.i realy thought i was going to be able to do it and wanted so much this new feeling that i was getting..then everything fell apart the next day...all of a sudden,i was craving a smoke realy bad and couldnt fight the urge,so ended up back on them.what a shame because i think that 3 days off them helped lift my anxiety....as for my daughter this week,everything went really well.she goes home today.this is the longest iv had her,8 days in a row..we have done so much together this week.iv packed in so much stuff for us both and feel sad she is leaving latter today.iv had tears from her telling me she dsnt want to go back to her life at home..so when she leaves latter,my flat is going to be empty and lonely without hearing her footsteps around my flat
Richard1960
26-07-15, 12:11
Hi Greg.
Glad you had such a good time with your daughter make the most of it they grow fast,mine are now 26 and 28 does not seem like five minutes ago they were running around,i like you had mine over for stays and yes its very sad when they go home and the flat is empty but you can at least look forward to the next time.
As for smoking i would not beat yourself up over it you gave up for a fews days and felt better you will start over again no doubt, maybe with E Cigs this time or Patches,by the way if you are up to it many NHS trusts run non smoking clinics they can help with patches ect ect,though i do not know what is available in your area.
You do sound quite positive at the moment which is good too.:)
Thanks richard..yes had a lovely time..sad its all over,although i am now skint big time....we are sitting hear now with only two hrs left before she gets collected..she is feeling very flat and so am i..anti climax.....oh well least i have good memories
Hi Greg, I am pleased you have had a good week with your daughter and some more memories to treasure. You can now look forward to her next visit :)
Thanks annie..iv spoken to my X and we are now agreed that i will have my daughter every two weeks now instead of once a month.so happy days there..
great news Greg that is something definitely worth looking forward to
Thanks annie..iv spoken to my X and we are now agreed that i will have my daughter every two weeks now instead of once a month.so happy days there..
Greg that is a real positive in many ways.
Your daughter wants to see you more often.
Your ex is most probably seeing that you are now more capable than before to enjoy your daughter being with you
You can handle this better than you thought before she came to stay and that in turn should lift your confidence and maybe be more determined to find some work..
Cheers andy..yes makes a big differents to me..every two weeks is not long and its a regular ruteen for me and my daughter.def something to look forward to...
I'm really pleased to hear this news and with your daughter's autism she will also need to have a regular and known structure in place for seeing you. It's a huge step in the right direction for you.
congrats, greg, thats such good news
Thanks pulisa..yep works well for her,shes very excited about it..routen and a regular visit..i had such a great time over the 8 days with her and feel it realy bonded us together..she loves her dad because we have a laugh together and i always interact with her,play fighting and chaseing her round my flat..we sit cuddled up at night in front of the tv and she is always telling me she loves me..cant wait to see her little face again
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Thanks swgr109..im made up with the news
Aww Greg, I am really pleased to hear this...this is great news for you and Sara x
Thankyou annie,yes great news.....:)
Thats fantastic news Greg !
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