Hypo84
23-07-15, 23:27
...and it's okay.
I've been anxious as far as I can remember but last three years were really tough. HA would lead me to depression and even though I have beautiful girlfriend and no real life problems it was leading me into depression. You all probably know how it is to feel "what's the point"... What's the point of going to gym when I will be crippled in a few years (ms), or what's the point of doing my work when I am dying of xy disease. Nothing was worth doing because, what's the point.
I was scared and I am still scared. I am scared of asymmetrical sweating in armpits that started 2 months ago, I am scared of burning in left heal that is lasting for 4 months now, I am scared of some deadly illness I can't shake of that fear, BUT I started doing things. I started exercising every day even though I don't feel like it, I started going out to salsa night to dance even though I would rather stay home stuck in bed. I started going out to sit on bench in park and read a book, just not to be at home. And I would lie if I would say that I felt awesome when I was out or when I exercised, but I felt a bit better and even when I am not feeling better I am living my life. I am living it even though I am scared and it's improvement I think.
So, I am scared but at the end of the day if it doesn't stop me from living my life it's okay.
I've been anxious as far as I can remember but last three years were really tough. HA would lead me to depression and even though I have beautiful girlfriend and no real life problems it was leading me into depression. You all probably know how it is to feel "what's the point"... What's the point of going to gym when I will be crippled in a few years (ms), or what's the point of doing my work when I am dying of xy disease. Nothing was worth doing because, what's the point.
I was scared and I am still scared. I am scared of asymmetrical sweating in armpits that started 2 months ago, I am scared of burning in left heal that is lasting for 4 months now, I am scared of some deadly illness I can't shake of that fear, BUT I started doing things. I started exercising every day even though I don't feel like it, I started going out to salsa night to dance even though I would rather stay home stuck in bed. I started going out to sit on bench in park and read a book, just not to be at home. And I would lie if I would say that I felt awesome when I was out or when I exercised, but I felt a bit better and even when I am not feeling better I am living my life. I am living it even though I am scared and it's improvement I think.
So, I am scared but at the end of the day if it doesn't stop me from living my life it's okay.