I am scared...

[Hypo84]

...and it's okay.

I've been anxious as far as I can remember but last three years were really tough. HA would lead me to depression and even though I have beautiful girlfriend and no real life problems it was leading me into depression. You all probably know how it is to feel "what's the point"... What's the point of going to gym when I will be crippled in a few years (ms), or what's the point of doing my work when I am dying of xy disease. Nothing was worth doing because, what's the point.

I was scared and I am still scared. I am scared of asymmetrical sweating in armpits that started 2 months ago, I am scared of burning in left heal that is lasting for 4 months now, I am scared of some deadly illness I can't shake of that fear, BUT I started doing things. I started exercising every day even though I don't feel like it, I started going out to salsa night to dance even though I would rather stay home stuck in bed. I started going out to sit on bench in park and read a book, just not to be at home. And I would lie if I would say that I felt awesome when I was out or when I exercised, but I felt a bit better and even when I am not feeling better I am living my life. I am living it even though I am scared and it's improvement I think.

So, I am scared but at the end of the day if it doesn't stop me from living my life it's okay.

[swgrl09]

That's a nice post. Accepting our emotions is a really important part of recovery. When we are beating ourselves up over having anxiety all the time, it just makes us feel worse and adds another layer of suffering. If we can acknowledge and accept it for what it is, we can say "Ok, I am scared but that's not gonna stop me from having a good day."

Good job, Hypo.

[56degree]

Yes, good job. However I personally would rather die than go to salsa night...

[MyNameIsTerry]

Good one. It can be a tough slog but it's essential to recovery.

I found that at first you literally have to drag yourself into some sort of routine but as stages changes, you feel more capable and able to enjoy things.

Keep the positive posts coming, People need to see them!

[56degree]

Yes, on a more serious note I did learn this week that the best time to get some exercise is when you feel the least like it. I felt like absolute crap all morning on Monday and decided 'i have to do something about this' and went for a run. Best idea I had all week. I have been trying to get a run in every day since then. It's worth it.

[Hypo84]

Yes, I've also found similar thing. My exercises are short 25mins but I do them every day with only 1min breaks between sets and exercises and max reps so it's tough enough.