I'm sorry eyes!!

[ker92ri]

So I've come to the conclusion that the ghosting and monocular double vision can change in its severity day by day. They can't find any cause for it (yet) now I'm starting to get awful raised yellowish film in both eyes and my vision keeps going blurry which is alleviated by blinking several times. Optometrist thinks this is conjunctivitus. I refuse to believe this is anxiety, my eyes have been awful for a month with no explanation. To top it off my lazy eye has started to become more noticeable and I'm getting more double vision from that. I have been on a site for people who have eye turns and they say that eventually my brain will suppress the image from my bad eye to prevent double vision. I do not want this to happen and the vision in my bad eye to get worse, I don't want to give up on it yet. There is a vision impairment in that eye but it is useful for peripheral vision!! I don't know why this is happening but I now feel like my general and social anxiety is worsening. I can't go out for more than an hour without having severe panic attacks. I have just finished uni and I'm supposed to be looking for jobs, but my mind will not let me focus. I think about my eyes all day and sleep is the only relief I get and the nightmare starts again as soon as I wake up.

[Frenchy]

Hi Ker92ri

Putting the specifics of your vision issues aside (as I guess it's probably just becoming too complex for anyone to effectively address or reassure you about your specific symptoms) in relation to the general/social anxiety you say you are experiencing - are you doing anything to address or help with that - in terms treatment or therapy/CBT etc? Are you doing any reading (not eye related) to try and help with this side of things?

If you can't or won't accept that the vision issues might be anxiety related - but you accept that you do have anxiety problems, then I can only suggest that it may help to mentally compartmentalise these and attempt to address these matters separately for a while - one as a medical matter and one as a mental/pyschological issue. I realise that one is driving/fueling the other but it should still be possible to at least try to learn some skills to help manage and reduce the anxiety while investigation are going on with your eyes.

[ker92ri]

Thanks Frenchy, everything you say makes perfect sense. I'm just not very good at dealing with numerous issues all at once. I think the underlying fear is still that I'm going blind and I'm connecting the problems that I'm having with my eyes at the moment to that. I have started CBT but I have 3 weeks in between each appointment which is annoying as last time I did it I had it once a week.

[Zim]

How have the CBT sessions gone so far Ker92ri?

Are they helping you manage to deal with some of your issues at all?

[ker92ri]

Hi Zim I've only had one session which involved me crying and telling her all my fears. So I'm assuming the next session will get down to the nitty gritty stuff. I'm just hoping it helps me because I can't go on like this for much longer.

[Zim]

I'm sorry to hear that but it's still early days yet if you've only had one session.

I'm sure it'll start to get a bit easier in time and I think one of the problems with us HA sufferers is that we underestimate our own ability to cope with our problems.

Just keep fighting for now and it'll ease off, I'm sure. :)