Dissonance
25-07-15, 03:58
Hello all,
I'm a 22 year old male and am new to no more panic. I thought this would be a good place to ask about an annoying issue i've been having lately. First though, some background to establish context:
About 3 months ago after breaking up with my girlfriend and having only about a week left before graduating college I experienced my first panic attacks. Hindsight 20/20 it makes sense these eventually happened as the past year and a half I had enormous amounts of anxiety concerning that relationship and was ruminating over it (mostly about whether I should end it) daily. For me what triggered my attacks were ectopic beats which before I knew what they were scared the daylights out of me. A visit to the doctor where they did an ECG and ran blood tests to look for thyroid issues confirmed there is very likely nothing the matter with my heart. However, for the next three weeks or so I was experiencing mini panic attacks everywhere. Specifically I found confined spaces such as a concert or car would usually set me off, and I found that even though I wasn't getting the ectopic beats (those faded after about a week) anymore I was still getting the freak out that went along with them.
But lo and behold, once I realized that I was just getting panic attacks and nothing was really the matter with me the panic attacks became less and less frequent. I also cut out caffeine completely and after about 4 weeks since the initial attack I wasn't really getting full on attacks anymore. That being said, I was still in this weird place of being generally nervous/anxious about getting them most of the time. The best way to describe this period was while I wouldn't get what I would consider attacks, I would definitely experience these 30 min - 1 hr periods of just feeling really, really weird and bad. Kind of like a weird feeling of unreality and general unease. No heart pounding or terror but definitely not the best feeling in the world.
Fast forward to a South America trip I took after graduation with friends, it's been about a month and a half since the period of really bad panic attacks and I'm feeling decently good. Still have some bad spots (the previously mentioned general bad feelings) but overall i'm pretty pleased with myself that I managed to avoid any major meltdowns with all the international flights, cramped subway trains, and struggling to speak Spanish to strangers.
Then, my right testicle/groin started to ache. My anxious mind did not like this one bit. The weird thing I immediately noticed was that this ache mysteriously disappeared whenever my friends and I were hiking or doing something active. This continues for a week and when I get back stateside I get it checked out by a urologist who confirms via a physical exam and testicular ultrasound that there is nothing the matter with my testicles. And yet, here we are, about a month and a half after it first started aching and it still aches. The best way I can describe it is a toothache-like dull ache that is extremely hard to pinpoint where it's coming from. Sometimes it feels like it's coming from the area right before my right scrotum starts, sometimes it feels like my right lower abdomen/pelvic region, and even weirder sometimes it radiates and feels like it's centered around my right pectoral muscle. Basically it radiates anywhere close to my spine on the right side of my body. Always the right side though. I've yet to really find a place I can poke and say "oh that's the source of the pain!"
What I've learned for sure is that distraction = no pain. Usually something active, fishing, exercise, something where my mind is very occupied. However, things like Netflix, having a conversation with someone, driving aren't always enough to keep me from noticing the ache. And I definitely recognize anxiety plays a role in this. Whenever the pain is really bothering me it's not the intensity of the pain that gets me it's more the concept that there's this pain I'm having that I have no idea why it's there or if it will ever go away that causes me to enter that panicky mode. The pain pretty much always intensifies if I'm actively thinking about it. After dealing with this for a while I've gotten better about freaking out about the pain but it still really bothers me.
Has anyone experienced similar symptoms and had them be entirely caused by anxiety? I'm so tired of dealing with this ache and just want some reprieve. I'm in a spot where I'm not sure if I should go to a GP to get my abdomen/spine/something checked out for the source of this pain or if I should be looking at a therapist to try to deal with a pain that at this point I'm worried is a product of my anxiety. Sorry for the long post I just figured it would be better to have the whole picture, any advice or stories of similar experiences are greatly appreciated.
I'm a 22 year old male and am new to no more panic. I thought this would be a good place to ask about an annoying issue i've been having lately. First though, some background to establish context:
About 3 months ago after breaking up with my girlfriend and having only about a week left before graduating college I experienced my first panic attacks. Hindsight 20/20 it makes sense these eventually happened as the past year and a half I had enormous amounts of anxiety concerning that relationship and was ruminating over it (mostly about whether I should end it) daily. For me what triggered my attacks were ectopic beats which before I knew what they were scared the daylights out of me. A visit to the doctor where they did an ECG and ran blood tests to look for thyroid issues confirmed there is very likely nothing the matter with my heart. However, for the next three weeks or so I was experiencing mini panic attacks everywhere. Specifically I found confined spaces such as a concert or car would usually set me off, and I found that even though I wasn't getting the ectopic beats (those faded after about a week) anymore I was still getting the freak out that went along with them.
But lo and behold, once I realized that I was just getting panic attacks and nothing was really the matter with me the panic attacks became less and less frequent. I also cut out caffeine completely and after about 4 weeks since the initial attack I wasn't really getting full on attacks anymore. That being said, I was still in this weird place of being generally nervous/anxious about getting them most of the time. The best way to describe this period was while I wouldn't get what I would consider attacks, I would definitely experience these 30 min - 1 hr periods of just feeling really, really weird and bad. Kind of like a weird feeling of unreality and general unease. No heart pounding or terror but definitely not the best feeling in the world.
Fast forward to a South America trip I took after graduation with friends, it's been about a month and a half since the period of really bad panic attacks and I'm feeling decently good. Still have some bad spots (the previously mentioned general bad feelings) but overall i'm pretty pleased with myself that I managed to avoid any major meltdowns with all the international flights, cramped subway trains, and struggling to speak Spanish to strangers.
Then, my right testicle/groin started to ache. My anxious mind did not like this one bit. The weird thing I immediately noticed was that this ache mysteriously disappeared whenever my friends and I were hiking or doing something active. This continues for a week and when I get back stateside I get it checked out by a urologist who confirms via a physical exam and testicular ultrasound that there is nothing the matter with my testicles. And yet, here we are, about a month and a half after it first started aching and it still aches. The best way I can describe it is a toothache-like dull ache that is extremely hard to pinpoint where it's coming from. Sometimes it feels like it's coming from the area right before my right scrotum starts, sometimes it feels like my right lower abdomen/pelvic region, and even weirder sometimes it radiates and feels like it's centered around my right pectoral muscle. Basically it radiates anywhere close to my spine on the right side of my body. Always the right side though. I've yet to really find a place I can poke and say "oh that's the source of the pain!"
What I've learned for sure is that distraction = no pain. Usually something active, fishing, exercise, something where my mind is very occupied. However, things like Netflix, having a conversation with someone, driving aren't always enough to keep me from noticing the ache. And I definitely recognize anxiety plays a role in this. Whenever the pain is really bothering me it's not the intensity of the pain that gets me it's more the concept that there's this pain I'm having that I have no idea why it's there or if it will ever go away that causes me to enter that panicky mode. The pain pretty much always intensifies if I'm actively thinking about it. After dealing with this for a while I've gotten better about freaking out about the pain but it still really bothers me.
Has anyone experienced similar symptoms and had them be entirely caused by anxiety? I'm so tired of dealing with this ache and just want some reprieve. I'm in a spot where I'm not sure if I should go to a GP to get my abdomen/spine/something checked out for the source of this pain or if I should be looking at a therapist to try to deal with a pain that at this point I'm worried is a product of my anxiety. Sorry for the long post I just figured it would be better to have the whole picture, any advice or stories of similar experiences are greatly appreciated.