Stereo20mike
26-07-15, 17:22
Hi everyone , my name is Mike and I'm new here.
So I think it's best if I start from the very beginning with my story . Up until last April my life was pretty average , I was in relationship that i had been since I was 15 . We had been together for 17 year and married for 10 with 3 beautiful children . I work as a freelance artist and get a lot of commission pieces coming my way . Last April I receivered a message from a girl asking me to do a piece of art work for her daughter , to which I did. Over the course of doing the picture it soon become apparent that we got on really well and with in the first week of talking I started to have feeling for this girl without ever speaking properly or even seeing a picture of her . I know at this point a lot of people will be like how can that even happen but it just did . We spoke on the phone for the first time in May last year and it became even more apparent to me and her how we felt about each other . I live in Chester and she lives in Bedford which is a 3hr drive away and she was also married . I left my wife in July last year because I couldn't carry on living a lie with her and moved back in with my parents . I know people will judge me and have and I've lost a lot of friends because of my decisions , when people think of affairs a lot of people think it's all sordid and gross but it has never been like that we just fell in love ,you need to understand that we didn't meet up properly till December last year . She's still living with her husband because we're saving up to move in together , but there separated and I spend every day off in Bedford with her and her children and mine . In September we went through a tough time where she didn't think she could cope with things and said we should just be friends but she loves me , I know makes no sense but she was dealing with everyday stress of being stuck there and us being apart . I didn't take it well and we decided to separate , I hated her for what she did just wanting to be friends when j knew she loved me . I went off the rails and was drunk for all of September and slept with 3 women , I felt totally alone I wanted her so much . We stayed friends and still spoke every day but I just couldn't tell her how lost I felt . In October last year things started to get better and we got back together but I still couldn't tell her about these other women because it hurt me so much that I even did any of that when I still love her. In January this year I went in for surgery and she stayed with me , I left my phone with her whilst I was in hospital . When she picked me up later that evening something wasn't right I just knew , ur have this unbelievable bond with each other that we can tell how each other are feeling even 156 miles apart . So she told me that she had read all my messages with my friends and these girls . I had completely broken her and destroyed everything we had , that evening I had to have emergency surgery because a complication had arisen , she stayed with me for the next 3 days even with knowing what I had done . I had to fight for my life and to save our love . We are so in love now and we're the best ever but I've become , controlling and possessive over her and it's becoming a problem and I don't want to lose her because of me . She's the most beautiful person I have ever meet inside and out . I first fell in love with who she was before I had even meet her properly . She always gets attention where she goes and when we're together it doesn't matter because she's with me and we love each other and she always ignore it so it's not even as if she gives people anything back . But when we're apart I think of all the worse scenarios possible and it's making me controlling , possessive , anxious and paranoid . I don't want to destroy what we have with the way I am , I really need help . I know I'm the problem and I feel like I can't forgive myself for what I've done even though she has ! I'm not a horrible person or a irrational person I just feel like I've lost my way and can't deal with my emotions . Any help or ideas would be greatful
So I think it's best if I start from the very beginning with my story . Up until last April my life was pretty average , I was in relationship that i had been since I was 15 . We had been together for 17 year and married for 10 with 3 beautiful children . I work as a freelance artist and get a lot of commission pieces coming my way . Last April I receivered a message from a girl asking me to do a piece of art work for her daughter , to which I did. Over the course of doing the picture it soon become apparent that we got on really well and with in the first week of talking I started to have feeling for this girl without ever speaking properly or even seeing a picture of her . I know at this point a lot of people will be like how can that even happen but it just did . We spoke on the phone for the first time in May last year and it became even more apparent to me and her how we felt about each other . I live in Chester and she lives in Bedford which is a 3hr drive away and she was also married . I left my wife in July last year because I couldn't carry on living a lie with her and moved back in with my parents . I know people will judge me and have and I've lost a lot of friends because of my decisions , when people think of affairs a lot of people think it's all sordid and gross but it has never been like that we just fell in love ,you need to understand that we didn't meet up properly till December last year . She's still living with her husband because we're saving up to move in together , but there separated and I spend every day off in Bedford with her and her children and mine . In September we went through a tough time where she didn't think she could cope with things and said we should just be friends but she loves me , I know makes no sense but she was dealing with everyday stress of being stuck there and us being apart . I didn't take it well and we decided to separate , I hated her for what she did just wanting to be friends when j knew she loved me . I went off the rails and was drunk for all of September and slept with 3 women , I felt totally alone I wanted her so much . We stayed friends and still spoke every day but I just couldn't tell her how lost I felt . In October last year things started to get better and we got back together but I still couldn't tell her about these other women because it hurt me so much that I even did any of that when I still love her. In January this year I went in for surgery and she stayed with me , I left my phone with her whilst I was in hospital . When she picked me up later that evening something wasn't right I just knew , ur have this unbelievable bond with each other that we can tell how each other are feeling even 156 miles apart . So she told me that she had read all my messages with my friends and these girls . I had completely broken her and destroyed everything we had , that evening I had to have emergency surgery because a complication had arisen , she stayed with me for the next 3 days even with knowing what I had done . I had to fight for my life and to save our love . We are so in love now and we're the best ever but I've become , controlling and possessive over her and it's becoming a problem and I don't want to lose her because of me . She's the most beautiful person I have ever meet inside and out . I first fell in love with who she was before I had even meet her properly . She always gets attention where she goes and when we're together it doesn't matter because she's with me and we love each other and she always ignore it so it's not even as if she gives people anything back . But when we're apart I think of all the worse scenarios possible and it's making me controlling , possessive , anxious and paranoid . I don't want to destroy what we have with the way I am , I really need help . I know I'm the problem and I feel like I can't forgive myself for what I've done even though she has ! I'm not a horrible person or a irrational person I just feel like I've lost my way and can't deal with my emotions . Any help or ideas would be greatful