Hi I'm new and really struggling atm

[Andysch]

Hello all
I am new to this forum and just wanted advice. My name is Andy, I am 21 and live in southern England. I feel like I have had anxious thoughts for years. A few months ago I was diagnosed with anxiety panic disorder. I was prescribed 50mg sertraline for two months.mthis medication made me always tired and sick. I was switched to 20mg citalopram. I'm currently signed off work and have been on these tablets for two weeks. The anxiety has blown up my once very happy relationship and it really does not look like it's going to work out now. This weekend has been terrible, the panic attacks just will not stop. I can't get the idea of killing myself and ending it out of my head, it's getting to the point that I'm terrified of leaving the house in case I get a panic attack. It took a toll on my job as I couldn't manage with it all. A lot happened and caused me to have a breakdown. I'm an absolute mess right now, I used to have so much confidence and be so happy. I feel so alone and like an absolute failure. And there's such a stigma with anxiety, nobody understands me. I just want my old life back.

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya Andysch and welcome to NMP :welcome:

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way :yesyes:

[Andysch]

I would really like to make some friends to chat with. I am really struggling and feel alone

[Zim]

Hang in there Andy,

Most of us on this Forum have been as low as you feel now at some point or another.

For me, it was little over a month ago that I had a complete mental breakdown and was in the depths of despair. I felt like there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to get out of this vicious cycle of anxiety, panic and depression. Although I'm still far from where I once was in terms of 'normality', I've forced myself to take small steps in an attempt to claim my life back.

I'm still having quite a few bad days but I can now start to see a light (although dim) at the end of the tunnel in my road to recovery. I know I am far from well, but I'm also far from the wreck that I was 4 weeks ago.

I wish you the very best as I know firsthand how difficult it is. You mentioned wanting a friend or somebody to relate and talk to. Feel free to message me. I'd be happy to have a chat. Keep fighting, Andy. It will get better, I promise you that. :)

[sial72]

Hi there Andy
I have also been there, exactly how you are now, it really does feel like you will never get better and like you are so out of control that you might do something "silly".
I got better. You WILL get better. Nothing lasts for ever. Have had any form of therapy?
You CAN and WILL get better. Sending you hugs x

[EbonyNightfall]

Hi Andy,

I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time. You're not alone - we're all survivors on this forum, in various stages of progress and healing; and you're definitely not a failure, the brain and mind can get ill just like any other part of the body. I've been in the abyssic depths of despair you're in now and, whilst I still have a long road ahead on my journey to recovery (but that's just me - my problems are complex and deep rooted), I'm much better now than I thought I'd ever be. Hang on in there, it does get easier and you will get better :) The darkness will pass.

My CBT therapist told me citalopram is the drug of choice for panic attacks and anxiety, so maybe you need to take it a bit longer before it takes effect. Initially antidepressants can make anxiety worse, but this should pass. Having said that, there are other medications you can take to take the edge off the anxiety and panic attacks further - propanolol and citalopram are often prescribed together- so maybe your GP can help you more...just a thought!

Please feel free to contact me, no-one should suffer on their own. My heart goes out to you.
Hope you're feeling better very soon!

Louise

[Andysch]

Thank you so much for your very kind replies, I am so touched by you all. I've been going through this for too long and I can't begin to tell you how much it means to finally meet people who understand.

[Pepperpot]

Hi Andy,
I joined a few days ago after having a few panic attacks which knocked me for six. The support on this site is unreal; everyone is lovely and helpful & even within a few days I look forward to logging on & reading people's stories & seeing if I can maybe help them at all in any way.
You WILL feel better, maybe not tomorrow or next week, but you have made the first step to recovery by joining this forum & sharing how you're feeling. I personally feel much better by talking to other people who have been/are going through the same stuff as me. If you ever want to chat just message me.

[EbonyNightfall]

Hi Pepperpot :)

[Pepperpot]

Hi Pepperpot :)

Hello :)

[Alex9331]

Hi Andy.. I can totally relate to you! I am currently off work have been for 6weeks, I did feel so much better for a while but had a set back again.. Me and my partner who I'm due to marry next year had a huge argument tonight due to me feeling like he doesn't understand but I don't know what to do! I wake up in the morning and want it to be over already which is horrible but I know I can feel better as I did before! I think it's important to be honest with yourself and although at the moment you feel like ending it that would just hurt everyone you love.. Life is beautiful and you can make it through x

[ryh]

Hi Andy
I am new to this site too. I am suffering anxiety and low moods terribly at the moment, last week I thought that I was going crazy with dark thoughts too. I have started taking citalopram 10mg and been on them for just over a week. I have spent the evening reading posts on this forum gaining courage form others. I read your post and I can totally see where you are coming from, life is wonderful and there is so much happiness to be had, we just need to get through these times of panic and depression. These are only thoughts we are having, we need to clear our minds of these thoughts and feelings and have faith that we will feel better soon, now I am saying all this in a good mood now after a day of torture so excuse me if I am too up beat. anyhow I thought I would say hi as I too live in the south. ryan

[leisa]

Sending positive vibes ur way,most of us have felt exactly the same but there is light at the end of that dark tunnel......:welcome:

[qwerty123]

Hi Andy,
I have been struggling recently, but was like you at your age. It's a long old struggle, and felt like it took forever to get out of. I was lucky (I guess) in that I moved area and that seemed to provide the new start I needed. That was over 10 years ago, and while I've not been quite as bad since, it's hard work (exhausting some days) to keep from sliding back. Friends, forum or otherwise really do seem to help - even on those days when you don't want to see or talk to anyone.

[Obatam]

Hi Andy, I'm really sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. I am going through the worst year of my life myself and I feel like this forum is helping me already. Let's hope we can get out of this. I don't know if I'll be of much help but please feel free to message me if you feel like talking to someone who understands about what you're going through.

[stressedanxious]

I'm sorry you are going through this, i hope you find the help and support you are looking for.

[Bzeko87]

Nothing worse than feeling alone with no support and people just telling you you are getting better when it doesn't feel that way :doh:

[Jules1979]

You are not alone in this, I promise you that! I'm going through something similar and I all to well understand wanting the feeling of being my old self again. It can be frustrating and heart breaking dealing with this monster. I'm here if you ever need to talk!

[Bella100]

Hello Andy,
I have recently joined this site and this is my first post as feeling a bit nervous about it all but reading your post I can relate to everything your saying. I started having panic attacks all the time about three years ago and was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, I was forced out of my full time job and then spent a long time off work, I also used to take Citalopram starting on a lower dosage and it was increased to about 60 at one stage. I got through the worst and managed to get a part time job but the last few months I have fallen back into the panic attacks and having to take time off again, it's very hard, frustrating and depressing so you are not alone at all!