Non stop anxiety about my heart, I'm so tired !

[inha]

Hello,
I'm new here, and brought by the health anxiety I've been feeling for the past week and a half, almost with no relaxed time. I had my first panic attack back in May, when after hearing about a girl my age (19) who had a heart attack and unfortunately passed away, I started getting huge scares about my own heart. This person did not have any diagnosed condition and even went to a cardiologist some time before the incident.
Since last week, it's impossible to convince myself I don't have either a heart attack or pulmonary embolism.
I've been to the doctor who ruled out my heart just by listening to my pulse (she said it was high because I was worrying) and taking my tension (good the first time, kind of low the second). I did a blood test, which came out fine except platelets slightly high. Of course since I read it meant my blood was thicker, I'm thinking I'm at risk for clots, pulmonary embolism and heart attack...

I know nobody will be able to run extensive tests over the computer, but I'd like to list my symptoms, making it clearer in my own head what's happening, and maybe hear about some that might have gone through a similar experience !

Shortness of breath : no so much most of the time, I even did cardio exercise yesterday to prove to myself my heart was working, but today after eating I climbed the stairs, picked up something from the floor and had to immediately sit, I felt like I couldn't breath properly anymore. It ceased but anxiety took over and I started feeling shaky and like I didn't breathe properly, even though it receded since then.
Plus, I know I've always been easily out of breath, but my doctor never thought it was a cause for concern so I never had any heart-specific check-up. I also sometimes get a weird feeling like my heart slows down (stops?) and I have to take a deep breath, and it goes back to normal.

Chest pain : mostly sharp and more on the left side. Sometimes it radiates to my shoulder/arm and send me in complete panic. I feel like the worrying about heart attack symptoms is definitely at cause here.

Feeling ill/nauseous : today all day and often after eating. My doctor told me I might have heartburn, and today I got huge abdominal pain until I went and had diarrhea.

Lack of appetite : I get nauseous when I eat so I eat very little.

Basically I know symptoms of a heart attack can appear long before the actual attack and that in women, it's usually perceived as an indigestion, which is how I've been feeling this past week and a half.
I'm scared of having an unknown heart condition and my family tells me there's no test the hospital could do since I look fine and I'm not gasping for air/in a critical condition.

The worst is I'm afraid of sleeping because of the risk of dying in my sleep, so I prevent myself from sleeping until 3 to 4 in the morning. When I doze off I feel like I fainted so I panic some more : how can you tell if I fainted or passed out from tiredness ? The thought made me jump last night and I distracted myself some more hours until I couldn't hold anymore.

Anyway, I hope I get to hear some reassuring words on this forum and thanks for putting up with my rent !

[countrygirl]

It seems your fear has only arisen after you heard about the girl who died? This is classic health anxiety, you then attach all your previous symptoms to this fear in your head whereas before they were pretty harmless symptoms. This causes huge surges in adrenalin which in turn cause a whole host of physical symptoms that worry you even more. Then you try and stop yourself sleeping which has huge effect on your body physical symptoms wise and on it goes. Can you see whats happening to you?

At your age the chance of you having fatal heart attack or pulmonary embolism are millions to one if that. The feeling as if you heart has stopped could be harmless missed(ectopic) beats that everyone have but only anxious people feel.

The anxiety chemicals flooding your body really mess with your gastric system giving you stomach and bowel symptoms and on it goes.

As a last resort you could ask your GP for an ecg if you think this will remove this fear but you would have to explain your intense fear to the Dr. Hopefully discussing with your Dr will mean they can reassure you much better than we can on here.

AT your age you have more chance of being run over by a bus than having what you fear. Please discuss your fears with your Dr and hopefully get some help.

[inha]

Thanks a lot for pointing all of this out. I did retrace how I got where I am but hearing it said is always helpful.
I know not sleeping does not help at all but tonight, while I was finally ready to go to sleep at a decent time, I got a new thing. I've never had it, it seems to fit the description of a tension headache except it doesn't feel like pain, more like just pressure with a sort of numbness around the nose/lips. I'm imagining the worst, of course. I think I might be back at my doctor's office tomorrow.
I'm hoping to get psychological help once I'm in my term-time city, but it feels so far away !

[worrywart29]

In regards to the girl that passed away im wondering what caused her to go to cardiologist in the first place if she had no underlying condition? It's rare that 19 year olds visit the cardiologist unless they are having some issues to make a doctor suspect the heart. Or in cases such as ours they have HA :-) The chances of you having a heart attack is slim, she just happened to unfortunately be one of the few in history. If symptoms come on after hearing about a death then it is 100 percent anxiety. I don't think you have anything to fear. A lot of your symptoms could be from anxiety and lack of sleep. Although it may be hard you have to try to relax, give in to sleep staying awoke won't keep you alive any longer if you truly was going to have a heart attack it would happen regardless.

[inha]

Hi, thanks for your reply !
I think this girl went for some chest pain/tightness, and was told everything was fine.
After so much time has passed since then, I kind of forgot how I started having this scare too, and it's nice to be reminded that I actually got triggered in the first place.
It's still hard to accept to sleep, I have images coming to my mind of my family finding me dead and it freaks me out. I even realise that not sleeping does not help my body being healthy either.
The chest pains are still around even when I don't quite worry at the moment, so I keep being reminded.
Before last week I did sleep quite well most of the time, I miss the time when I would try to sleep and fall asleep early. I'll have to be brave at some point and actually give in to sleepiness but I still can't imagine myself doing that.