daniel22
27-07-15, 03:59
I used to talk on here 6-7 years back, back then I had suffered depression/anxiety and with you help and support I kicked it where it hurt. My mother helped me greatly with dealing what is reality and what is not, and yet I am back to tell another story.
My mum died unexpectedly to cancer in November 23rd 2013 @ 1753 and my depression and anxiety is back with a vengeance, this time with no mother (mops the floor of tears), I've been diagnosed suffering with Complicated Grief, GAD and Depression, everyone treat's me like it never happened, I'm full of anger and guilt, I really want to see my mum again, it's not like we departed on good terms. She lived with me for a while because she lost her house due to unforeseen circumstances and we argued, she left and 3 months later I got that call everyone dreads, the feeling's are so intense it's like a pinball, up and down, I feel like a burden to the people around me, I tried killing myself last year because I just can't cope with the guilt, What if I could of done more? to improve her life? after the funeral my brother blamed me because she died, my whole family has been and will always be divided, I have no family, my dad disowned me when i was 14 and I thought when my mum passed he would mend things with me but nothing came of it, he didn't even attend my mums funeral. My mum was cremated and with so much guilt and anger, I can't even go sit with her to find some sort of comfort. I'm so lost. These feeling are becoming so intense I am now resulting to drinking.
My mum died unexpectedly to cancer in November 23rd 2013 @ 1753 and my depression and anxiety is back with a vengeance, this time with no mother (mops the floor of tears), I've been diagnosed suffering with Complicated Grief, GAD and Depression, everyone treat's me like it never happened, I'm full of anger and guilt, I really want to see my mum again, it's not like we departed on good terms. She lived with me for a while because she lost her house due to unforeseen circumstances and we argued, she left and 3 months later I got that call everyone dreads, the feeling's are so intense it's like a pinball, up and down, I feel like a burden to the people around me, I tried killing myself last year because I just can't cope with the guilt, What if I could of done more? to improve her life? after the funeral my brother blamed me because she died, my whole family has been and will always be divided, I have no family, my dad disowned me when i was 14 and I thought when my mum passed he would mend things with me but nothing came of it, he didn't even attend my mums funeral. My mum was cremated and with so much guilt and anger, I can't even go sit with her to find some sort of comfort. I'm so lost. These feeling are becoming so intense I am now resulting to drinking.