Help to stop checking.

[TheMadOladCoger]

Hello,

I'm looking for some advice, I have a small lump behind my jaw I have had it for over 3 weeks now and it hasn't really changed. I have a bad habit of messing with this small lump, this sometimes makes the lump hurt a little.

I have tried to stop checking the lump numerous times but I always fail and end up checking the lump and the surrounding area, this of course makes me panic. I have had the lump looked at by my Doctor who said he couldn't feel anything to worry about but I still keep messing with it so its always in my mind.

The question I have is has anyone got any tips on how to avoid checking this lump? for example what I should do when I get the urge to check.

I would like to add that last week I was busy and didn't check the lump for 3 days I think and when I checked it again it seemed smaller than before. Of course I decided to mess with it again and the next time I checked it seemed just as large as before.

Thanks.

[56degree]

Hi

I have had similar issues with spots on my skin that I worry are skin cancers.

I had them checked by my GP and a skin cancer specialist, but I went back to checking about a week after he told me that with my skin type I would probably never get a melanoma unless I tried real hard. So I know how difficult it can be.

First, what are you worried about? I assume, like most of us on here it is the c word? Okay.

Secondly, get in touch with the rational part of your mind, the same part that asked for help, and ask yourself what the value is in checking? What are you looking for? Why? How do I feel when doing the checking? What conclusions to I jump to when I check? Does this make me feel better physically, or mentally? What is the more rational answer to my questions about the lump based on medical evidence and what experienced professionals have told me? Writing the answers to these questions out may help you.

Then think again about the value of checking it as often as you are. in the highly unlikely event that it is something insidious, will it make any difference if you leave it alone for a few days? A week? Is there a reasonable chance that it will actually recede if you leave it alone? Wouldn't that be good...

But stopping cold turkey is tough and unlikely to work. So try setting yourself a schedule for checking it, with the aim of weaning yourself off checking altogether. Try three days, then six, then nine, then twelve, etc.

Whatever you think you can achieve, bearing in mind your goal of not checking at all, in time.

[TheMadOladCoger]

Hello,

I am the same I have seen two Dentists and my GP about my Lump. One dentist today as I had an appointment and he brought up why I came in last time. He decided to feel the area and said he couldn't fell anything to worry about and there is no sign of any problems. He did say stop proving and messing as you will irritate the area and the lump will never go away if I don't stop messing.

I am worried about the "C Word" I have been for the last couple of months, finding different lumps and bumps and of course Googling them.

When I check I guess I am making sure that the lump isn't growing, which is stupid as messing with it isn't helping it at all. When I check it automatically jumps to the big C, it's like there is no middle ground in my mind its that or nothing. A bit odd really, the checking doesn't make me feel better most of the time it makes me feel horrible and worried even after being told that its nothing to worry about.

I am going to start to check less, as you said start off low with three days and gradually stop. I hope unlike last time when I notice it getting smaller (if it does that is) I will just stop prodding it repeatedly.

Thanks 56degree I found the advice really helpful and I think I can achieve it as long as I stay strong for the first couple of days.

[lyndau63]

Oh boy can I identify with this one. I was also going to suggest setting targets. one of the things that sometimes works for me is something that was suggested when I was having CBT some years ago. Postpone the checking, say for half an hour and by then the panic has subsided and you can think more rationally or may even have forgotten. Then increase to an hour and so on. if you can go straight to 56 Degrees' idea then all the better. Good luck.

[56degree]

All the best with it. I know how hard it can be.

But it sounds like you are able to tap into that rational side and find the right answers, which is a positive sign.

[GingerFish]

I have a hard lump that behind my jaw that came up after an ear infection last year and I must have touched it at least 100 times a day and all it caused me was misery and anxiety. I got it checked out numerous times and got told it was just a lymph node from the ear infection and probably wont ever go back down because of how much I messed about with it.

It was so hard to stop touching it, even when doctors said it was nothing to worry about. At first I cut down gradually. I knew I couldn't stop touching it completely to I tried cutting it down to just once or twice an hour instead of every couple of minutes. Whenever I did feel myself wavering towards it again, I would do something to distract myself like play a game or even sit on my hands until the urge passed! Every day it got a little easier to stop and I always reminded myself that the doctors know more than my anxiety so if they say its fine, it is fine.

A year and a half on, its still there and still the same size and I still touch it every so often, maybe a few times a month.

One another thing I would suggest, stop googling about it if you do that. You will read nothing but cancer, cancer, cancer and that will only fuel your anxiety and make you touch it even more.

[TheMadOladCoger]

Hello, GinerFish

I guess I am in the same boat as you were, except my Doctor and Dentist didn't tell me it was a lymph node they just said they couldn't feel anything worrying in the area and the fact I had a clean blood test 3 weeks before I noticed it and no other symptoms pointed in the direction of it being nothing serious.

I am starting to cut down the touching, as we speck I need to touch it less as when I touch it once I start to push on the area and mess with the lump making sure that its not grown. Of course I have no idea if it has so I just worry.

As for Googling I have been there and done that, that's how I got in the position of fearing the C word so I try and avoid doing that as much as I can. Its been about 9 days since I last googled anything other than shopping stuff and things relating to games.

Thanks for the advice I only hope that I can it in and listen to the voice of the two Dentists and the Doctor in my mind saying "It's nothing to worry about"