View Full Version : One day...
This is one of those silly story threads where everybody contributes and it all ends up funny and making no sense...its all good fun. I'll start!!!!
Then suddenly....
normalwisdom
04-02-07, 21:18
she saw a......
Steph
big hairy..
"When There Was Only One It Was Then That I Carried You."
woman who looked...
Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers
honeybee3939
04-02-07, 22:16
Like me !:D
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
and just had to ask her...
Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers
honeybee3939
04-02-07, 22:58
Why Did........
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
you grow so much hair...
"When There Was Only One It Was Then That I Carried You."
honeybee3939
04-02-07, 23:06
Well..........one day.......
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
Me shaver batteries...
"When There Was Only One It Was Then That I Carried You."
...died! I blame that Mr.....
Duff B Tree from the hardware store who
Also is as hairy as a.......
the inside of a hairdresser's bin bag at close of shop!
[:I][Oops!] Sorry guys!
love shoegal xxx
Talking about the hairdressers, while i was there the other day i heard that old Mrs Brown has been hiding a huge secret......
honeybee3939
05-02-07, 13:02
Her lovely curly locks are fake ! they...........
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
come off at night and are replaced with a rather fetching....
Hairnet 99p from Asda...
"When There Was Only One It Was Then That I Carried You."
honeybee3939
05-02-07, 15:30
Oh dear ! Poor Mrs Brown, i bet Mr Brown is fed up with...........
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
people asking him if she got her hair from George at ASDA.
wobily_lin
05-02-07, 15:46
Mr. Brown looked at them and said ..."Actually .........
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
honeybee3939
05-02-07, 15:57
This Hairnet isnt such a bad idea, i think i should get one for.........
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
the meet up on Sunday as I...
Ray
http://www.anxietyrelease.org.uk/
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance.
~Mark Sanders and Tia Sillers
groovygranny
05-02-07, 18:18
used a cheap pair of ceramic hair straighteners and it's all ...............
'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'
honeybee3939
05-02-07, 18:38
Fallen out, but hey i made use of it and made a lovely toupee for .........
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
the miserable old father in law,who is as bold as a badger!
He was so pleased with his toupee he.....................
'Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'
honeybee3939
05-02-07, 19:40
jumped for joy, he jumped that high it flew off and landed on...
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
the puppy, who swiftly................
'Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'
honeybee3939
05-02-07, 19:45
Sulked as it had now turned into a Shaggy Dog !! Ohh barked its mother, what..........
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
do you think you are doing with that rug ???...................
'Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'
rug...what rug? Thats no rug...that's a....
mop head, and a very expensive one at that,now i will have to find.......
A nice bucket now..
"When There Was Only One It Was Then That I Carried You."
honeybee3939
06-02-07, 09:06
Back at the Brown household, Mr Brown was becoming very concerned about........
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
the price of good quality buckets.... so he..........
honeybee3939
06-02-07, 09:17
Decided to telephone Mrs Mangel, whom works at the local plastics factory to see if.......
"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"
Joe was available to deliver......
"When There Was Only One It Was Then That I Carried You."
but he wasn't because he was having a beer on Brighton beach with Norman Cook, so he............
told Norman to piss off cos he had a bucket to deliver....
"When There Was Only One It Was Then That I Carried You."
so Norman got up and mixed a tune, but heard Joe say 'ye whinging pommy b*****' as he.........
got ready to jump around and ................
have a good time. But he didn't know....
Heather x
that hiding behind a doogy poop bin was.....
wobily_lin
06-02-07, 18:29
baldy Mrs. Brown. Cos she hadnt shaved her head for so long it.......
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
....had started to sprout and her head was covered in stubble rash......
It was enough to wonder if it was a dirty mop up side down??
LOL
Madmax
-*-
But it wasn't, it was the horrible itchy hairy brown jumper Mrs. Mangle gave Joe when.......
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
07-02-07, 07:13
he stayed the night in her.....
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
. What a night that was.......
Joe accidentaly set fire to his mums hairnet (99p from ASDA) so she had to........
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
08-02-07, 16:03
quickly run to get some .....
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
a tescos carrier bag to stick on her head but.....
Tracey xxx
wobily_lin
08-02-07, 18:39
all he cud find was great big black bags so he ran............
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
normalwisdom
08-02-07, 18:50
to get some scissors to get the perfect fit...they were blunt so.....
Steph
wobily_lin
09-02-07, 15:31
he went to the shed n got the garden shears to...............
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
cut the bag into shape, but he accidentally cut off his ..........
love shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
10-02-07, 13:44
the left sleeve of the jumper, that Mrs. Brown had knitted for him......
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
which Joe gave back to her so she could use it as a ...................
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 05:17
head warmer to cover her slap head......
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
which was covered in plasters where she................
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 06:00
tried to pull out the wee tuffs of hair with a tweezers.. lol
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
But she slipped and accidentally pulled off her eyebrows which flew through the air and landed in Joe's..............
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 06:12
Wellies...He thought it was a ferret so he jumped......
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
in the air and banged his head on Norman Cook's mixing decks, which caused an explosion that .....................
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 06:19
made even the whiskers on Mrs. Browns head stand on edge....Mr. Brown.......
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
was fed up with her looking like Pat Sharpe, so he................
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 06:21
called in the diy sos team so they cud try to help...
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
but sadly they put a new kitchen on her head which would not fit in her new hairnet (99p from ASDA). So he..............
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 06:31
felt peckish anyways so he cooked bangers n mash on his new cooker, but forgot it was on her heat.......she was steamin and the sweat........
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
dripped into her eyes and her mascara stuck her eyelashes together like glue, which made her fall over into.................
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 06:38
toilet which flushed n cooled her down but she was stuck so Joe and the diy team.............
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
had to prize her out of the loo, then they noticed a strange bone sticking out of her head, so they called in Time Team who...........
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 06:44
put up some yellow tape n sign which said 'out to lunch', they looked at her head n said..........................
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
'well she's definately 1000 years old', so they wrapped her in cling film and put her in the museum. Mr. Brown was not happy because......
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 06:57
now he cud sit n watch match of the day in peace n drink loadsa beer so he invited Joe, Clancy, Mr. Bean, Norman and Toothless for a kneesup.
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
but they weren't really happy cos she wasn't there to cook them bangers and mash on her head anymore, so they had to call Jamie Oliver who............
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 07:07
raced over on his scooter, but wen he saw the kitchen on her head he said " OOO.................
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
.......'I can make a pucca pie in that oven'! So he did, but she was still stuck in the museum so they had to plan a rescue mission...........
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 07:12
but the only thing they really needed was some scissors n a gud set of knashers so the whole mob entered the museum late n night then realised..............
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
they were trapped inside with a mummy and six dinosaurs. So they.....
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 07:27
called the only ones they cud think of to help.......Scooby Doo, Thelma, Daphne n wotshisname lmao................
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
Shaggy!!! Scooby and shaggy wanted to cook something on Mrs. Brown's head, so they drove the Mystery machine through the wall and..............
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 07:51
they hit the jackpot, 'SCOOBY SNAX', so they forgot about poor Mrs. Brown wrapped up in clingfilm, but then they heard.............
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
a wailing sound coming from behind an old bookcase which was under a portrait with moving eyes, so they...........
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
12-02-07, 08:01
all split up, but scooby jumped into Mr. Brown's arms so Mr.B .......
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
so Mr. Brown put Scooby back down and ran behind the bookcase where he put on a mummy outfit and started wailing again.......
shoegal xxx
wobily_lin
13-02-07, 05:41
he didn't realise that standin behind him was......
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
Mrs. Brown all wrapped up in cling film with a kitchen on her head.......
shoegal xxx
Damn those pesky kids hehe couldnt resist sorry lol.
"When There Was Only One It Was Then That I Carried You."
...... So now Mrs. Brown knew that her husband Mr. Brown was the phantom mummy who had been haunting the museum for decades, so she..............
shoegal xxx
normalwisdom
13-02-07, 15:31
....went back to Asda for some non biological washing pwder...those bandages are a bu**er to clean....while she was there she bumped into.....
Steph
.......Jamie Oliver who was checking out Sainsbury's competition, and stocking up on pukka pie ingredients which he was getting for...........
shoegal xxx
normalwisdom
13-02-07, 15:37
the next NMP meet up...omg he couldn't find any pringles so he had to get.....
Steph
Doritos!!! Then he got on his scooter and rushed over to the museum where he.........
shoegal xxx
...thought, i'm in the wrong place! Which way to "The Cock"........
(which happens to be v. close to where i live...lol)
wobily_lin
14-02-07, 03:08
O said Mrs. B...i know that very well, pointing in the direction of Joe who was lookin rather confused so she asked Joe for..................
Take care,
Lin xxx
"Fear is dat lil darkroom, wer negatives r developed", so positive thoughts okies!!!!!
for a map and a compass, and also a pen knife so she could cut herself free from the cling film she was still wrapped in (Scooby Doo and his chums were bloody useless at rescue missions)! And she was getting fed up with being stuck in the museum, so...............
shoegal xxx
(sorry that was long, but it needed saying)!!! :D:D:D
she decided to make a life changing decision....
she was going to divorce Mr Brown and run off into the sunset with.......
shoegal xxx
with jamie oliver on his scooter coz she was fed up with...........
Traceyxxx
Mr. Brown dressing up in his dirty bandages and haunting the museum all the time. Tut. What she really wanted was................
shoegal xxx
a nice mug of horlicks. she boiled the cauldron and in the water appeared . . .
''my life is full of catastrophies, most of which never happened''
a reflection of Jamie Oliver, her new lover, naked and making pukka pies in the kitchen. She was so happy. She sighed and said..........
shoegal xxx
blimey he's pleased to see me
''my life is full of catastrophies, most of which never happened''
But he wasn't. It was a BIG SAUSAGE she'd seen cos he was making a sausage pukka pie with gravy. She made her Horlicks and then........
shoegal xxx
she decided jamie wasn't her type, he kept banging on about fruit and veg so she..............
Traceyxxx
decided Joe Mangle was the one for her. So she phoned him up and asked him when he was bringing her that bucket.............
shoegal xxx
coz her hairnet needed a good soaking coz it was..............
Traceyxxx
...10 years since she'd......
washed her own hair. So she put her head in the bucket and........
shoegal xxx
and it got stuck so joe had to send for....................
Traceyxxx
his mate Norman Cook who was a dab hand with a wrench and a bit of washing up liquid. Unfortunately, he spilled the washing up liquid and Joe slipped and broke..........
shoegal xxx
Mrs browns hairnet, oh my god joe said she i will have to......
Traceyxxx
take that back to ASDA and get a refund under thair money back guarantee. Then she will be able to spend her 99p on................
shoegal xxx
on a second hand wig from the charity shop so she can...........
Traceyxxx
look her best when she goes to the firemans ball (which is having a party to celebrate the new garden being done by Ground Force). Mrs. Brown was particularly excited because...........
shoegal xxx
her new outfit was ready. It was being sewn by a team of......
borrowers who had made their home in mrs browns skirting boards. Father borrower said..."....
"Today would be a very good day to...."
"start making plans for a...."
water feature. Charlie Dimmock can do that while Mrs Brown ..................
shoegal xxx
went to B&Q for a matching set of.......
Lexxie
tongs that she could use on Joe Mangles B-B-Q and also on her hair. She also bought .......................
shoegal xxx
a rather fetching little gnome which reminded her of.............
Traceyxxx
her motherinlaw. Mrs Brown had never got on with Mary Brown, her husband's mother, since the wedding. This was because Mary had set fire to....
Lexxie
Mrs. Brown's best wig which she got free in a packet of crisps. She had never been able to replace it, not even when she went to............
shoegal xxx
Wigs 'r' us. She decided it was high time she got revenge on her mother in law. After all it was the nicest wig she had ever owned. She had an idea to..........
Traceyxxx
take the screws out of her mother in laws Stanner stair lift. Maybe she could also .......
Lexxie xxx
smear goose fat on the hand rail so she would definately have a fall. It was a good job Mr. Brown was busy haunting the museum while she plotted the perfect ..............
shoegal xxx
murder of her wig burning mother in law. Oh how she chuckled to herself when she imagined how...........
Traceyxxx
murder so she could get her hands on the inheritance. Mr. Brown would never suspect her because even though she had previously been arrested for GBH by PC Plod, she.........
Lexxiexxx
she had only poked his eye out with a screw driver (nothing serious), so he never suspected she was imagining her poor mother in law tumbling down the stairs.......until he found some screws on the bottom step and a greasy smear on the wall. Sudddenly, it occured to him that ......................
shoegal xxx
his wife might be up to no good. He decided he would set a trap to see if......
Lexxie xxx
...all the rumours were true. In the meantime he sat down with a good book and..........
decided that setting a trap could wait. He needed to get on with his new hobby of elf tossing. For this he needed to buy a.......
Lexxie xxx
a good pair of leather gloves ( you can't toss without good gloves). He decided to have a look on www.elf (http://www.elf) tossing.com where he could buy all that he needed for his new hobby. Once that was done he could set about......
Traceyxxx
booking his plane tickets. He was entering the 2007 Elf Tossing Championships in Rome. He decided he had better take his mother with him incase Mrs. Brown bumped her off while he was away. In the meantime......
Lexxie xxx
Mrs Brown was frantically thinking of a way to keep her mother in law from swanning off to Rome. Her plans for bumping her off were taking shape and she didn't want them foiled now. There was only one thing for it she would disguise herself as an Elf (no hairnet) and.......
Traceyxxx
hide in the shed. When her mother in law came to check on the Elves the next morning, she would jump out and..........
Lexxie xxx
trick her unsuspecting mother in law into sitting on Mr. Browns Elf Tossing machine (made out of a stolen see-saw, and a wheel barrow). She would strap her onto it and give her a good..........
love shoegal xxx
slap around the face with a wet fish. Then she would turn on the machine and.......
Lexxie xxx
and toss her over next doors fence. She never did like the neighbours so she hoped.............
that her mother in law would go flying through their patio windows. That would.....
Lexxie xxx
really make the neighbours angry, but the neighbours saw this and they had a trick up their sleeve so they...
got some string and wound it round the see-saw which would stop the Elf tossing machine working. Then, when it was switched on, instead of tossing Mrs. Brown's mother in law through next doors patio windows, it would ................
Love shoegal xxx
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