Still thinking of a girl I messed up a chance with 7 months :(

[Lockey1995]

Hey,

I'm back nearly 7 months later I can't believe it's been 7 months and I'm still thinking of that one girl i worked with I'll link previous posts underneath, I've gotten allot better with my anxiety since getting another job and can speak to almost anyone now I still struggle with girls but I don't speak to any at all really .

Anyway back to the subject yesterday I went back to my job that I had before Christmas and it just all come flooding back to me every memory and it hit me like a ton of bricks to say the least, i really didn't feel welcome there, i managed to cope with this fine untill yesterday and today I just can't stop thinking about where i ****ed up and the most haunting thing is just the what ifs, what if i didn't do that, what if i managed to speak to her more and so on. I think i can't let it go because when I did slightly get to know her she was similar to me shy, quiet and enjoyed the quieter side of life and I just keep thinking I'll never find anyone like that for a very long time. I wonder if she's ever thought about it probably not.

I haven't attempted to send her anymore messages although I think she might have blocked me straight after that first awkward message as it just says delivered on imessage and apparently in ios8 if it doesn't go read you're blocked only way to find out would be to phone and see but I'm not even attempting that, I think i keep giving my self false hope saying one day she might reply to me or something i need to stop this, the only thing i did do was add all contacts on snapchat including her nothing come of it but oh well I'll just leave it.

It's just really hitting me now and I just can't stop thinking of the what ifs that's why I've come on here for help and to see if i can stop these thoughts


Previous posts from another site I was on

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...utely-1310841/


http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...r-off-1335146/

[Oosh]

Hiya

I think I remember your story from 7 months ago. It rings a bell.

So sorry this is still bothering you. I'll be honest, it would bother me too. I've my fair share of missed opportunities too believe me. Social anxiety is hard. You sound like you have more confidence and experience now though and I think that is all you can do. Learn from it and build up confidence and experiences too so next time you have the opportunity you feel up to it.

You know the world is full of more shy introverted girls don't you ?
Get your attention on someone else. I found its the only way for me to put painful memories behind me.

I think fundamentally these situations give us a hit to our brains reward systems, dopamine, something like that. It feels incredible and is supposed to.
When it's gone it's supposed to feel like the worlds ended because relationships like that are good for survival. Know that there's another girl like that existing in the world and feel you have a chance and get your brains reward systems firing again.

Make sure your confidence is high enough this time. Keep practicing talking to and enjoying people at work. Try and enjoy friendships out of work and feel adequate and confident. Then when you find another girl like that you can make it work.