Big C Fear!!

[Petesy]

Hi Everyone

Thanks for taking your time too read this... Sorry if it's too long i need to air this out my family are great but i can see my constant State atm is wearing thin on them :lac:

I went to my gp several times about this lump above my Adams apple and one on the floor of my mouth near the salivary gland duct.. 3 times I've been and finally I've found a gp that's sending me to a "maxifillio facial surgeon" I've been waiting almost a month for this appointment and got confirmation today that it's on the 3rd of August...

Now the fear is kicking in really bad thoughts of leaving behind my family those sort of thoughts and i ain't even been yet my head is running riots with me all i can think about is the big C.. Holding my ears when he or she is going too tell me what it is :scared11:

My Doctor tried reassuring me that he's 95% sure it's not the outcome I'm expecting that he's seen quite a few cases of oral cancer in his medical career and he knows by touch and the look (i won't tell you how he knows or you'll be prodding yourselves until it hurts! Which I've been doing).. He also told me about a scare he had last year and even his logical thinking was going out the window and he said that the fear of leaving loved ones behind was creeping into his head too but he was fine and put it too me that he understands my anxiety about this and too remember my skills of CBT.. And also not too fear the fact that he's getting it checked that's the kind of gp he is..

But it's been dragging in and now it's near I'm really afraid the only thing that's keeping me a bit on par is I noticed a thread i posted one year ago this month about the same lump but another gp said it was a salivary gland stone.. Hmmmm :unsure:

so my question is if I've had this over a year and it was sinister wouldn't i be really ill or losing weight and the one above the Adams apple has been there longer.. Anyone?

I'm trying my best guys but it's the past month waiting I've been riddled with horrible thoughts and panic attacks...late nights because of the 300mph head..

Sorry for the long post everyone.. And thanks again for reading this.. no place like speaking to great people who understand than NMP.

Wishing you good health and well-being

Petesy.

[tmckenzie-orr]

Don't worry yourself stay positive , it won't be cancer oral cancer is 95% of the time a patch or a ulcer looking thing , so that should be the piece of mind you need

[Fishmanpa]

The fact that 3 GPs have essentially dismissed you (the 3rd giving you a referral for peace of mind) indicates a benign issue. You had an issue with a blocked salivary gland a year ago so it could just be something like that.

I said this on another thread...


Cancer is an uncontrolled growth of abnormal cells. It doesn't come and go nor does it stop once it starts.

I assure you that if it's been there for a year and it was sinister, you'd be either very ill or long gone. Of course your dragon will cause you to throw all logic out the window. He relishes in the idea of you being all panicked and stressed. It's like food to him.

I'll bet the farm and equipment that all is well. I look forward to saying "I told ya so"

Positive thoughts

[Petesy]

Thanks for the reply Mckenzie

Trying my best too but the "Dragon" is breathing all sorts of fire right now...

It's been on my mind that much that i wasn't sleeping and had to go back to the same gp and express my anxiety about this situation and he prescribed me Zopiclone 3.75mg but I ain't even taking one at all.. Stupid probably but I've never took a sleeping tablet in my life think i feared not waking up this is how bad I've got. The lump on the floor of my mouth is smaller than a pea and totally round and smooth and also is under the skin.

[tmckenzie-orr]

I was am the same the doctor prescribed me tablets but I won't take them want to try cbt first, as don't really agree with tabs, but I will take them if cbt don't work, try not to let it worry u though seriously it will be fine

[Petesy]

The fact that 3 GPs have essentially dismissed you (the 3rd giving you a referral for peace of mind) indicates a benign issue. You had an issue with a blocked salivary gland a year ago so it could just be something like that.

I said this on another thread...



I assure you that if it's been there for a year and it was sinister, you'd be either very ill or long gone. Of course your dragon will cause you to throw all logic out the window. He relishes in the idea of you being all panicked and stressed. It's like food to him.

I'll bet the farm and equipment that all is well. I look forward to saying "I told ya so"

Positive thoughts

Thanks very much for your kind reply Fishmanpa

You've put my mind at ease, and I'll definitely be back here for that i told you so until then you're both right i should stay positive because I'm making myself ill on thoughts of unimaginable fear...

This Dragon needs doused big time

Thanks again much appreciated btw :bighug1:

Peter.

---------- Post added at 21:17 ---------- Previous post was at 21:13 ----------


I was am the same the doctor prescribed me tablets but I won't take them want to try cbt first, as don't really agree with tabs, but I will take them if cbt don't work, try not to let it worry u though seriously it will be fine

Thanks a lot Mckenzie

Yeah i totally feel you on the sleeping tablet side of things... CBT worked wonders for me but that was four years ago think I need another round of it... Forgotten some of those vital skills :bighug1:

Thanks again :bighug1:

Peter.

[Petesy]

Hi Everyone

Just a quick update new symptom is starting to hurt when I swallow but glands are not swollen tbh feel as though I need a course of antibiotics. Certainly round about the gland region though..

Something always creeps up to remind me

Still cacking it :weep:

[tmckenzie-orr]

does it feel like a choking feeling in the throat? like around the adams apple or to left or the right?

[Petesy]

does it feel like a choking feeling in the throat? like around the adams apple or to left or the right?

Yes it does and it's to the left right where my gland is is... Why you've got me worried now??:scared15:

[tmckenzie-orr]

haha thats exactly the same as what i had if u read my very first posts from couple of years ago thats exactly what i had in the left hand side aswel, haha

---------- Post added at 18:34 ---------- Previous post was at 18:32 ----------

mine was inflamation from a hot curry, and abit of gerd n post nasal drip worse thing u can do is focus on it, u need to stop focusing on it as u become overly aware of the whole area, i always used to feel it aswel to try find a lump or whatever lol and made it worse lol, Just relax know its fine and try improve ur diet and try streching our ur sternomastoid muscle aswel there youtube videos for that i found it helped lol

---------- Post added at 18:35 ---------- Previous post was at 18:34 ----------

AND DO NOT GOOGLE , because it brings up scary stuff lol and thats what set me off its literally identical from when i had mine the posts r from 2013 lol, the health anxiety really took over i ended up havin a laranscopy and all was fine and was anxiety where i was too overly aware of the area lol

[Petesy]

Thanks a lot Mckenzie i near enough shat myself their thinking you were going to hit me with something bad, i take 20mg omeprazole for that GERD and because i had an ulcer which burst 6 years ago...

A lot of my bottom teeth are really bad and need taking out and i don't know if this could have something to do with it.

Petesy

[tmckenzie-orr]

i pretty much gaurentee you have irrated your throat from gerd maybe, or post nasal drip or something , or you can be tense with ur sternomastoid muscle, just do not prod or touch do salt water gargles and when you do them push ur tounge out aswel so you can gargle as far down your throat as you can this is what my doctor said to do can even try gargling broken up parcatemol disolvable one or something, I done it all but u need to not touch the area at all dont try feeling for lumps or nothing what so ever im telling u this now to stop u gettin into the fears of throat cancer, becuase thats what was my first major set off , And in the end i let the anxiety take over i still had the left tightness feeling and felt weird, and saw 6 doctors they all said im ok i didnt believe they said it was anxiety in the end, and it dissapered when i had my laranscopy as new it was all ok, so must of been in the end where i was so overly aware of the area was focused on it so would notice all the weird sensations, if u ever need a chat just send me a message positive thoughts buddy

[Petesy]

Thanks very much for your kind replies

Wish you all the best, good health and well-being

I'll keep you updated on how i get on

Petesy

[Petesy]

Update on the Big C Fear.....

Hi Everyone first of all I'd like to thank you all for your reassurance and support...

I went to the hospital for my appointment with a maxfillio facial surgeons who done their examination and said it was a hard static lump on the floor of my mouth... They sent me for an x-ray of my head and told me to return to their surgery which i did...I got told too wait just 2 doors away from their's which they had left their door open and all i heard them speaking about was a "tumour mass and that 80% of these are benign and in his case" (me) then a sudden pause... "Oh Peter come in" i was shitting my self after over hearing their conversation for me to walk in shaking and then he points it out.."there it is Peter a salivary gland stone"...."we'll book you in for next month to remove it under a local anaesthetic, it's a very simple procedure....any questions?" me "No but can i just say all i heard you both speak about while looking at my x-ray was tumours so I've basically Shat myself!!!" they laughed and apologised and told me not to worry it's only a stone that i don't have any tumours... I felt like crying with relief! I thanked them and left with my appointment.

So my heart was in my mouth for a brief moment and it's changed me in a certain way for e.g: if it was what they were speaking about (Tumour) life is too short for all this worry and i ain't spending my life doing it!!.. That is what i took from that brief horrible moment of over hearing them talk while I'm more or less outside their door, if that makes sense to anyone.

I love you all guys and thanks a bunch much appreciated

Petesy :-)

[tmckenzie-orr]

Lol i bet your heart dropped haha, glad its only a stone for you it will be removed then your be happy happy , :)

[Petesy]

Ohhh it did mate i could feel the blood drain from my face lol... But hey i have no fear of the procedure or anything basically because all my fear was on focused on the worst.....now my mind is at ease

Thanks for the support btw ;-)

[Fishmanpa]

Great to hear the positive news and as I said I would....

"Told ya so!" :D I called the salivary gland issue too!

Relax and celebrate the good news!

Positive thoughts

[Petesy]

Great to hear the positive news and as I said I would....

"Told ya so!" :D I called the salivary gland issue too!

Relax and celebrate the good news!

Positive thoughts

Thanks Big Chap... And I'll take that I told you so right on the chin lol.... Hope all is well with you all... :yahoo: :bighug1::bighug1::yesyes:

Fishmanpa MD like Hugh Lawrie from HOUSE M.D :roflmao:

Take care :yesyes: